posted April 03, 2008 11:21 AM            

http://www.private-eye.co.uk/

IS SHE THE GREATEST WOMAN IN HISTORY?

Hillary Clinton reveals the seven moments in her life which she believes uniquely qualify her to be the next President of the United States.

1. HILLARY BRINGS PEACE TO NORTHERN IRELAND

Hillary personally brought together the two warring factions, thus paving the way for the Good Friday Agreement which brought peace to that troubled land after 1000 years of conflict.

2. HILLARY RISKS DEATH TO LIBERATE BOSNIA FROM THE SERBS.

Hillary personally led US forces, under a relentless hail of sniper bullets, as they freed the besieged city of Sarajevo from the evil Serbs.

3. HILLARY - THE SECRET HEROINE OF 9/11

Hillary personally directed the heroic efforts of New York's firefighters as they saved thousands as the Twin Towers collapsed.

4. HILLARY - FIRST WOMAN ON THE MOON.

As she steeped from the lunar capsule onto the surface of the moon, Hillary famously remarked, "Vote for Me".

5. HILLARY LEADS THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT

Hillary inspired a whole generation of Black Americans to claim their rights with her famous speech - "I have a dream that I'm going to beat Obama in 2008"

6. HILLARY'S GETTYSBURG ADDRESS ENDS IN CIVIL WAR

Often wrongly attitributed to Abraham Lincoln, the famous speech after the battle of Gettysburg establishes her reputation as the finest orator of all time.

7. HILLARY AND THE CHERRY TREE