posted March 25, 2004 05:04 PM         

To long have I sat crying
Huddled in my house
While the storm outside rages on.

To long have I mourned
The loss of people,
Things,
Innocence.

To long have I fought
Against God
Like a child crying
“No! Not the needle
It’s only a little splinter.”

To long have I watched
My house crumbling
Begging to be spared
Only to be brought
Down
And down
And down again

You say it is time
To tear down the old
And start again
“Look you don’t really like that old house anyway,
The wallpaper was ugly,
The roof leaked,
And the wind slipped in through the seams”
You brook no argument
Do it or it will be done to you

So Be It

(Sigh)

(Digs in closet for steel toed stomping boots)
(Goes next door to borrow a sledge hammer)
Fine!
Fine!
Fine!
Bring it on then
(Extends arm and beacons with fingers
Crooked smile and slanted eyes)
*“I’m your Huckleberry”
(Echoes of anime warriors
Stronger after a long battle
Confident of victory)

Let’s do this
Kick, stomp
Hammer away
Leave nothing upright.
Goodbye leaky roof
Goodbye ugly wallpaper
Goodbye .
(Hand me that jack hammer
I want to move the whole foundation
3 feet to the left)

Now I stand naked in the rain
Amid the ruin of what used to be
Laughing like a child in the chaos
Calling the storm
“Come lightning strike
And burn away the old.
Come wind and blow away the ash”
I dance with joy in the swirling madness
Drunk on surrender

Pierce me with Your needle
To the core of my soul
Again and again
And root around till it is gone completely
The splinter is festering
I am strong enough to take the pain

I stand before you an empty shell
At ground zero
My life hanging in tatters
Scattered all around
Having willingly given all

I am ready now to be filled
With truth
With light
With love

Rebuild my house
A strong foundation in a secure place
A watertight roof
Painted with beautiful colors
Filled with beautiful things
A thing of beauty and strength

While I was afraid
You loved me

When I did not deserve it
You loved me

When I ran away and
Wasted all the gifts you gave me
You loved me

When I realized
I loved you too
And came home
You rejoiced
Hugged me
And threw me a party

*Quote from tombstone



posted March 27, 2004 01:40 AM         

Saturn (yikes)
transit 6th house(ouch)
Square natel mercury(ooof)
square natal chiron(oh boy)
square natal uranus(ok already)

uranus
transit 2nd house
square natal neptune

Neptune
transit 1st house
sextile natal chiron

pluto(yikes)
transit 11th house
trine natal venus
opose natal saturn(ouch)