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Author Topic:   ... I Wrote a Song
Everlong
Knowflake

Posts: 313
From: Southeast Florida
Registered: Nov 2003

posted September 09, 2004 12:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Everlong     Edit/Delete Message
So, I wrote a song tonight when I was just really, really bubbling with love for music. Took about five-ten minutes, so dunno how good it could be- all constructive criticism is welcomed warmly!

Silly little girl
You've seen all the world
Traveled from Paris to Bombay
Yet you'll always end up
With your books in the hay

Your eyes are not the window
To anything except your impatience
Time is not to be spent
On those that don't have important opinions
Your feet move on
With all of Mercury's chargin

Silly girl
Stop sighing your butterfly sighs
Rolling those eyes
Your butterfly sighs
Aren't going to change that world

Slipping through everyone's fingers
You flit and snip to the beat of a hummingbird
You know, you know
Everything that no one knows
Your words flow like a May stream
Your irises as cool as February

Silly girl
Stop sighing your butterfly sighs
Rollings those eyes
Your butterfly sighs
Aren't going to change this world

Hands that never stop moving
Mind that never stops spinning
Those sparkingly empty yarns
You lost that heart of passion
Too long ago

So you sigh your butterfly sighs
Go ahead, roll those eyes
Of course you don't care

But darling, we've stopped caring too.

Butterfly sighs


------------------
"Out of your depth or not, it's up to you whether you sink or swim."

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26taurus
Knowflake

Posts: 1457
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004

posted September 09, 2004 12:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message
*clapping*


Everlong!!! That was beautiful!! You wrote it in 5-10 minutes?! Wow!! Really, very good.

Keep on writing! Do you sing too?

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Everlong
Knowflake

Posts: 313
From: Southeast Florida
Registered: Nov 2003

posted September 09, 2004 12:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Everlong     Edit/Delete Message
Heh, yeah, which is why I had a couple of problems with the beat- a friend pointed out to me that the last line of the first verse didn't flow well, so I changed it to

Yet you'll always end up
With your books in the hay

instead =).

This is actually the first song I've ever written- I had the idea in my head for a couple of hours- I sing okay, but I don't sing sing, so if I were ever in a band or something I would give this song to someone with a better voice, heh.

Thanks a lot 26Taurus =D!

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26taurus
Knowflake

Posts: 1457
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004

posted September 09, 2004 12:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message
Well, it looks like you have a newfound talent Ever. Keep 'em comin'!!

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Charlotte
Knowflake

Posts: 238
From: Tn. USA
Registered: Apr 2004

posted September 10, 2004 03:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Charlotte     Edit/Delete Message
Awesome! Really nice...

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