leo_on_fire
Knowflake Posts: 138
From: Heiskell, TN 37754
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted June 22, 2005 10:07 PM
 
On the ride over I was so scared.
I was so afraid of what you would say when I walked in.
Only to have my heart stop completely when you did.
I haven't seen you in almost 3 weeks and it looks like the universe is on your shoulders.
Your clothes that used to fit perfectly on your perfect body are now almost too baggy to be wearable.
Your eyes seem sunken into your head, and the circles can give the night sky a run for its money.
You smiled at me when you saw me but for some reason I couldn't return that smile.
All I could do was say "You look horrible."
Not my best moment.
I walked around the hospital with you, wanting to reach for your hand so badly but I didn't because I knew you wouldn't take it.
You seemed to be searching for something every time you looked at me and I struggled to keep from spilling and finally decided to just keep my mouth shut.
I watched you as you talked to a friend, and I felt every word I had planned to say slip right out of my mind.
I watched you look into the glass reflection at me behind you and you looked so lost.
I wanted to hold you so badly.
It physically hurt me not to.
But I knew I couldn't.
This break **** is for the birds.
Just so you know.
I don't know how much longer either of us can go along with this.
6 weeks at the least you will be completely out of reach of me.
Maybe longer.
Does it hurt you the way it hurts me?
I wanted to cry today when I saw the haunted look in your face.
The words you spoke were superficial at best, bearing no weight in the order of things.
I wanted you to reach for me like you used to.
I wanted you to look me in the eyes like you used to.
I wanted you to just grab me and hold me as tight as you can like you used to.
But you decided we needed this time apart for you to be there with la femme.
You decided I wasn't important enough to love her like you do, whether you ever said it or not.
And I now realize just how cruel those words seem, and I realize the injustice of them because she is your world...and you have been the only one there for her for her entire life...its hard to let someone else in to that.
I love you.
I only hope that is enough to save you.------------------
love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove.
William Shakespeare IP: Logged |
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