leo_on_fire
Knowflake Posts: 147
From: Heiskell, TN 37754
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted July 19, 2005 05:37 PM
 
If there is anything I've learned in the past few days it is that too many times we get so caught up in what tomorrow MIGHT bring that we forget about the gifts that today has already given us. No matter what happened yesterday, each day brings a us another gift. You may have to search for it, but it's there. It is always there. No matter how bad it seems, count the blessings from now and not the ones you are hoping for. Hope is good, it is awesome, but life is not a life if it is based on the sole feeling of hope. For all intents and purposes, suffice it to say life for the past 2 months has been a living hell. And everday I am still overcome with pain but I have to fight it back and remember how much I still have and how much I've already been given. And I have to realize how much it really matters. No one really knows what will happen 5 minutes from now, much less tomorrow and that causes an insurpassable amount of fear in so many and in so many ways. Another thing I've learned is that life can change completely in a matter of seconds and there is no way to get those seconds back. No way at all. LIfe can fall apart and leave you hanging by a string but that string can be enough if you let it be.
The "great love of my life's" little girl was badly injured in a car accident and instead of handling it with a maturity that would have made it easier to bear and be strong for him, I chose to hide in myself and strike out at everyone, including HIM at a time when he needed me to be strong most. Regardless of how much I cared, and how much I wanted to be what he needed, I did it all wrong. I may have ruined the best of all the things that have ever happened to me ( no worries, he did his fair share of ruining too) but my gift in all of this is knowing what mistakes I made and learning from them. I've stopped being selfish and have discovered what a gift it is to be able to love and not just be loved. What a gift it is to love because you can and not because you are getting something in return. My gift is know she will come out of this as perfect as she ever was and he'll come out of this with the knowledge that his life is better for it (hopefully). He will be stronger for it, no matter what happens between me and him. Another gift that I've recieved is a blessing disquised as a friend. This man knows exactly what happened, he knows exactly how I feel about this little girls father and even though my friend doesn't care too much for my love, he knows the whatever happens happens and if it makes me happy then he won't stand in the way. He calls me at least once a week to check on me and makes it his personal mission to make me laugh. He is my best friend and no matter how much he will deny it, I know he loves me and cares about whats going on in my world.
And I love him for it. No matter that he is half a world away. What happens tomorrow happens whether we want it to or not. What we need to concentrate on is what we have now, and all the good things we had yesterday. Never forget what happened yesterday because it may equip you with the tools you need to face tomorrow and maybe even the rest of today. xx
Kt  ------------------
love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove.
William Shakespeare IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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posted July 19, 2005 09:30 PM
