Posts: 5480
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted March 14, 2008 03:14 AM         

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Mood-Writing is stale and breastmilk makes the mind mushy
Like a creamed batter, piped with exhaustion icing
Thighs still soft (STILL!) but grateful to hold that sweet smelling baby
That possibility in bold with a name you adore
that Godly creation you couldn’t have dreamed of more....
Motherhood might be common but it’s not the peasant-poor kind
It is rich and delicious it is filling (even if it is with cake batter)
it is generous and messy it is tasty and sad and guilty and so far reaching I might as well change my name with each new name I create.
I left myself out by the sliding door last year, and the train happily picked up speed
Happily- And I mean it
I need
This is greedy in my soul beyond sex or identity
It changes more than Socks and bums
It changes more than dads or mums
It changes more than woe is me tributes to youth
my self sacrificing ardour my lessons my cries for more
I cry for her
Though she knew what it was to house lives to hold them and love them... she didn’t allow the loss of self to define her.. she struggled and gasped for air instead of sliding
Sliding slick and slippery underneath the gathering force of the current and the vessels to bump her no more weeds caressing and grabbing no more caring about them or what that means or who she is or was
A different kind of sleeping
In my babies’ lives I am a beauty queen in mascara less eyes
I am a matador who slays dishes and broccoli
I screw up I miss deadlines I never have enough time I am a relentless grasshopper trying to wear an ant’s pants (I paint them on while I dance)
I still have trouble sleeping
But in my sleepless parade there is no charade
No coveting blade of artifice
It is a divine grace a glad worship
It doesn’t matter who I was
It matters who I am
And what I make
NOW
I am a mad diva
an operatic screamer a secret whisperer a love maker a guilt taker
I am mom
No longer a faker.
This dream is forever and I hope to never wake up.
( And I always sleep through the alarm)

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Posts: 1429
From: )
Registered: Apr 2004

posted March 14, 2008 12:56 PM         

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Posts: 13869
From: CA, USA
Registered: May 2005

posted March 14, 2008 02:55 PM         

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Just makes me smile.

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Posts: 1429
From: )
Registered: Apr 2004

posted March 14, 2008 10:28 PM         

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I had a response to this but it got lost somewhere.

In short, I was going to respond to your poem "My Something Good" until I read this one. There is something expressed here that is so "simple and all at once complicated" that is not as prevalent in the other poem (IMO), since the other is more intimate and personal in its essence.

This one seems more free, less confined to the judgments of the rational mind. Though you speak from a motherly perspective, there is a spirit here that reaches past the simplicity of a poem about motherhood.
There is a radiance in this language, a rippling dimension to it.

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Posts: 4577
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted March 14, 2008 11:49 PM         

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I read this early a.m. and it made me go crawl into bed with my daughter. Thanks momma friend

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Posts: 5480
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted March 15, 2008 01:38 AM         

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Thanks, all!

It was free.. I read poems from the past.. myself and others, It was late,I wasn't sleeping, and I was inspired to write something.
So it was a free form outpouring.
I never know what I'll end up with... all my poetry is like that though.

I'm so glad it inspired cuddles! yay!

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Posts: 539
From: UK
Registered: Jun 2006

posted March 18, 2008 11:35 AM         

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BRILLIANT!!

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Posts: 5480
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted March 20, 2008 01:42 AM         

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Thank you lovemuffin!

*pictures Xena the fierce warrior love-muffin*

hehehehehe

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Posts: 2864
From: London
Registered: Jul 2004

posted March 22, 2008 05:47 PM         

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You're beautiful pix. It's lovely to pop by. I kinda felt drawn to browse Yellow Wax this evening. This is my first post in oh, a year maybe more, I've missed LL Hope to be back more often

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Posts: 1429
From: )
Registered: Apr 2004

posted March 22, 2008 07:49 PM         

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Welcome back!

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Posts: 2864
From: London
Registered: Jul 2004

posted March 22, 2008 08:29 PM         

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Thank you NosiS

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Posts: 1191
From: on a chair beside a window
Registered: Jul 2002

posted March 29, 2008 10:31 AM         

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Wow I'm a mum and this is fantastic! Very bittersweet. It's true motherhood changes you, first into a vessel and then a maidservant. You lose identity to pass it onto your little one and yet you wouldn't have it any other way.
It's the Ultimate sacrifice for one that is yet to be born

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Posts: 5480
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted March 29, 2008 11:08 AM         

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Thank you Quinnie. It's true that it changes you so much I almost can't talk about it.... it's just an inner thing.

Sheaa!!! It's so good to see you. I miss you! I hadn't been by in quite a while either but I have been visiting mostly daily lately!
You were always my champion on this board! (And I miss your words too) Not just because of the cheerleading aspect.. you really are something 'special'.

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Posts: 2987
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004

posted May 18, 2008 11:39 PM         

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I'm a little late finding this, but having been away for a while the difference is black and white. Or blue and green, or any other color you like. Maybe some glitter just because it sparkles.

I could read you all day-- your honesty and un-muddledness tickles me-- yes, literally tickles me because it's so opposite of my muddle-y poems. (I haven't written anything in over a year... maybe I'll talk about it in SU someday soon.)

Not that muddle-y is bad, just the contrast feels like little bubbles!

Nice one!

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Posts: 1791
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2004

posted May 19, 2008 10:04 AM         

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You will always be one of my favorite writers here at LL...

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Posts: 5645
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005

posted May 19, 2008 01:01 PM         

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Posts: 5480
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted May 19, 2008 04:24 PM         

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oh my... Thank you!!!!!!!!!

I am honoured! Truly.

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Posts: 287
From:
Registered: Nov 2006

posted September 06, 2008 12:05 PM         

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Love this..

Wonderful...

Thank You...

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Posts: 5480
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted October 11, 2008 01:31 AM         

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Thank You!!!!

I appreciate the bump and the comments!
Sorry it took me a while to say Thank you, I haven't been visiting with frequency.

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Posts: 48
From:
Registered: Jan 2005

posted October 22, 2008 01:56 PM         

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Pixie,This is such good writing. I read this one every time i come to this particular forum, and every time, it makes me shake my head with the truth of it, ya know? I just love it,
and i should have told you long ago.

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Posts: 114
From:
Registered: Jun 2002

posted October 22, 2008 10:16 PM         

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i should spend more time here, reading picksel picsee's powetreee...

------------------
"first KNOW
then you will have WON"

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Posts: 26802
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted October 23, 2008 07:59 PM         

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"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz

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Posts: 4577
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted October 24, 2008 01:42 PM         

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Crying again reading it...
and calling my daughter over...

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Posts: 5480
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted October 30, 2008 02:27 AM         

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Mommy Love and Hugs all around

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Posts: 1537
From:
Registered: May 2006

posted November 28, 2008 10:20 PM         

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Pixelpixie,

That is a philosophical way to express motherhood. It has a Uranian touch.

D

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