posted January 29, 2012 07:08 PM
This rather amusing gripe-fest begun from a brainstorming session in which a character of mine launches into another character. Obviously, inspired. It somehow escaped the usual filtre of my Saturn-Jupiter around a very emotional event at Christmastime.
I'm the one that knows you best.
At least to this, you attest.
No matter how you dodge what I have guessed.
... Am I simply more persistent than the rest?
Those with whom so much more have been blessed?
Yet ... I'M the one that knows you best.
Well, have you thought to enquire what it does to ME?
That one whom I hold especially dear --
Is content to keep me beyond a wall of fear?
Never bothering to ask how it feels being LEFT out here.
Oh ... but the message is QUITE clear.
And I'M the one who best knows you.
Is it true?
In EVERY sense of the word.
To fathom THAT ... it's just absurd.
WHO could POSSIBLY know you LESS?
You share with me your dreams ...
But never an address.
Why have I stayed in this mess?
Me. The 'one that knows you best'.
Into this deceptive dance we go --
Tell the truth. But only when you need.
Which IS hardly ever --
On THAT we're agreed.
Lies DO weigh heavy on an honest heart.
And when the band plays on ...
Can't go back to the start.
Time waits for no one --
No matter how smart.
I'll accept the compliment,
Though hypocrisy is evident.
And love is just not meant --
For those who lie still.
Stretched across a coarse and bitter frame,
Which no amount of nostalgia may ever, truly, fill.
I'm the one who knows you best. Hm.
Could it be ...
Are YOU the one who best knows ME?
Given half the chance,
You would see.
I was always the one --
To see through.
All of your mysterious misery.
I called, 'Time!'
And at long, long last ...
Do I just ... damn the rest?
You let me in!
The one who 'knows you best'.
Now I can say I know the REAL YOU!
Oh, but life ...
LIFE ... is a most imperfect game.
In the end ...
It's all the same.
Ask those who play it as they should.
Or, just take it from me --
We've done the best we could.
... Haven't we?
It's not fair.
It may never even be 'quite right'.
So it's best to say that we don't care.
And just avoid the fight.
Because, damn, I have cried enough tonight.
We've lied to each other for so, so long.
Probably in more ways than we realise.
Even if what matters most was never in full disguise.
We can't hang on now.
That leaves ... letting go.
... I lied.
It's ... it's like I've been cursed.
My foolish pride.
But, oh, how it hurts inside.
I have no choice but to hide.
No, I don't know the rules.
For this, I'm not sure if there are any.
And, so, again, we act like fools.
The ways to fumble, to falter,
I'll say I'm sorry.
Just drop the ordeal.
It proves easier ...
Not to feel.
Oh, don't worry.
I'll be fine again,
Once I find my feet.
You've stepped on them enough already --
Long before the day we were ever to meet.
No, I know, I can't leave your head now.
And you're still firmly beneath my skin.
I'd dig you out, but ...
Whatever would I do then?
So, I'll leave you there --
And pretend you're not.
I'm rather skilled at lying to myself!
Just like you!
... It's only an issue when we get caught.
I! I meant, 'me'!
And ... you as well.
I guess it's that we've got SO much to sell.
Maybe you can teach me not to care?
It seems you do it ... so well.
That wasn't fair.
Or really even true.
What the hell ELSE do you expect me to do?
Please, I beg of you.
Hell, I'm on my knees.
Don't say it to my face?
How ... there never was such a place?
In your selective recollection.
Even if it hides so much pain you won't express.
It just drives me insane.
Under great duress.
I realise it's haunted now.
I'm not looking to start a row.
And I promise you, I'll drop it when,
You drop your very ... last ... lie.
And admit to what was then.
The ghosts of Might've, Meant-To, and Had,
Are taking from me my peace,
Leaving me only sad.
Oh. No. It's not your fault.
I'm not blaming you.
Don't feel bad.
The whole thing's wrong.
A hell of a jam.
Even more loaded the question --
Where do we belong.
We both fell rather hard,
So it's proving to be quite rough.
For ... here I am,
And, at long last,
There you are.
... It just wasn't soon enough.
Stargazing in Hollyweird,
Karma's a b*tch.
'LACHESIS': a new transgressive urban fantasy series from Envision Dramatic Artists. Premiering December, 2012.