posted September 23, 2017 08:35 PM
I'm writing a story and this is a summary of it. Please tell me your thoughts on it!!! XxxI posted this on astrology 2.0 too: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/238480.html
I'm writing a story which which is tragic, deep and emotional. Even more than wuthering heights.
This is one of the lines in the story: "His eyes usually pierce in others soul when he looks at them. But not when he looked into mine today. It was strange. It was hard to explain why. But it made me feel shocked. When he looked at me he kinda freezed, like time stopped. Like he admires me or I'm really important to him. Does he have a crush on me? No it can't be he never even noticed me before. Maybe I'm just thinking that to feel good about myself. Then what is it about me? Because from what I remember it was like he didn't even know I existed. He never even noticed me. I'm just overthinking. It was nothing." Sienna when was in high school.
The title is "tragic love" for now.
It's about an innocent girl who is new at a school. She just came out of a traumatic situation so she's is really quiet, scared and has trust issues. When she first got in school sometimes people would ask her "are you okay?". She tried all her best for hands to stop shaking. The first thing people noticed about her were her eyes. They were like the most beautiful eyes. They were big and soft, and slight slant upwards at the ends. They were grey in colour and were hypnotizing and dreamy. She had good features and face, just her chin was slightly smaller than normal and it made her cute. With time she slowly opens up a little and gets used to the daily life at school, but she still has trust issues. She made casual class friends but wasn't able to make close friends because she is emotionally withdrawn with trust issues. But deep down inside she's really innocent with a simple mind. There is this guy in high school who has nothing to do with her. He has his own friend group and while she's in art, he's in sports. He is tall and handsome, he is happy and sociable but usually stays quiet. Or at least she thinks so. Because he becomes quiet around her but she has no idea about that. She is a no one because she prefers to remain in the background. Because of the trauma she went through she feels misunderstood around all the careless and happy people who are sure of themselves. She doesn't speak unless she has to. She doesn't think much about him except that he's in a few of her classes. She is too emotionally withdrawn from others around her to care about them, to have much opinions about them.
But she means everything to him. He is the most secretive person in the world. He is really good at hiding anything he wants. His point of view: she has beautiful eyes. She is mysterious. Even though she tried to express emotions, I can tell she is sane, her intentions. She is innocent. She acts like a cat when she is shy or nervous. The way she behaves is really innocent and relatable. But she tried to hide it so well. I can tell she is more sane and intelligent than others.
When she was out there in the world, around all kinds of people, the vulnerable her. There was this one person who saw her heart and kept it. He owned her heart. She couldn't hide her heart from him. What will he do about it? Now he's a victim too, not just her. He's a victim because he loves her.
They meet 3 years after they both graduated by coincidence. They never saw each other after graduating high school before that. But they are not innocent 16 year olds anymore, especially not her.
He tried to find that girl he fell in love with in her, but what he sees is nothing there. Even though she became more sociable and normal. With no anxiety problems anymore.
Before she was the truest person he found, the most authentic and relatable person he found. She was his world. Where did it go, the thing that made her alive, where did her innocence go? It was still there and he could see it, but it wasn't there as much as before. He gets angry at her for changing, and she doesn't understand why he is doing all this. She never even knew he ever felt anything towards her. She is completely oblivious about that. All she knows is that she became more confident after high school, and she was glad about whatever change happened in her. He never thought he could ever hurt her.
After he just graduated from high school, he thought she was nothing but a crush. He didn't understand why exactly he would have a crush on her. There were prettier girls than her and most of all because she was a loner. But he thought it was most probably because of her beautiful eyes and something about her demeanour. The way she was independent yet vulnerable at the same time. She was so unemotional and cold or at least tried to be but he found her quite the opposite because he could tell her nervousness, her vulnerability, she had no guards. Like she was a fish out of water. He found her her nervousness cute like a cat's.
But not him. He is trying his best to extract out that innocence from her again. When he cries she doesn't understand why. When he looks in her eyes like she means the world to him and she is the most precious thing in the world that he's afraid to lose, she doesn't understand why. But she knows it's something emotionally really deep. It's all making her feel really emotionally drained and sad and even traumatized. Why is he acting this way? She doesn't understand what it is about her. She feels bad for him, for how much she means to him. Because he can kill himself because of her but he would never admit it but it's obvious. She knows she's not being put on a pedestal because what he is seeing and understanding about her is not something fake. And now he is the vulnerable one, he's the victim instead of her.
She only seemed vulnerable at that time because she was alone, she had no one. When someone is in a powerless situation that's when they are the most vulnerable and that's where you can see their true self, that's when you can see their innocence.
She feels bad for him. She never thought she could feel bad for a guy like that before. But it's a whole different thing going on than you would expect. He tried to beat her up, abuse her mentally and emotionally in the attempt to see her powerless side, her completely powerless and innocent side, completely vulnerable side. He tried to do everything, he humiliates her, insults her. He tried to make her scared of him. And she was in some ways and in others ways not at all. Because she can see it. He can't hide his feelings for her. She find his actions cruel, but not the intentions behind them. She knows he's the real victim of her. But she never wanted that in the first place. It makes her feel as if she's dead. Like he's mourning for her. Like she is his only life. She can see his extreme vulnerability, his feelings. It's all too emotionally invasive. Emotionally draining. Depressing and sad and tragic. She thinks he ruined her life. She's can't live without him, and she can't live with him. After him showing his extreme vulnerability to her, she can't help but his feelings becoming her own. He destroys her soul. She gets depressed because of him.
She has to lie and say that she loves him back. She has to do very thing she can to convince him as much as she can. But the truth is that she doesn't love him the same way he does. Whatever you call that. She just feels bad for him. She thinks he's pathetic. But she can't judge him because he is her. She can understand how he's feeling even though she's doesn't know how to describe it. She knows it's something tragic, deep and intense.
He would stalk her all the time to make sure she doesn't run away from him. He even bought a gps device to place in her purse to make sure she'll never leave him or try to run away from him because that's what she tried to do. But she is scared to do it at the same time because if he loses her forever she knows he might kill himself. She is his life and world. He is obsessed with her. When he sees her and knows her presence is there life comes back into him. She's the only one who can make him happy.
Two innocent young people's tragic love story.
He remembers those days when he used to see her walking alone in the corridors of school. He wants her back. And she's there. Yet not completely there.
This story is tragic and you'll wish he never had a crush on her, never loved her. You'll wish she was never vulnerable and innocent enough to attract something so dangerous.
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This is just the summary that's why in it I added a little bit the moral of the story in some bits but in the actual novel or story only the events will be written and the moral/emotional/psychological situation of the story will be understood by itself by the reader. But this is just a summary please let me know what you think!!!
Lindaland
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posted September 23, 2017 08:35 PM
posted September 23, 2017 09:23 PM
... That was a very nice gesture you made. She should have tried to read some of your stories before turning it down! 
posted September 24, 2017 06:29 PM
Enjoy!
posted September 25, 2017 10:46 AM