posted November 18, 2014 02:57 PM            

I'm in a cinema, watching what appears to be the outtake reel from the film I've referenced ad nauseam as of late, Dead Again. It's at the 'crossover' scene, where her night terror suddenly combines past and present (as they're played by the same actor, Branagh). But instead of the actual scene in the film, Thompson's seems to be blanking out. With a confused expression, she says, 'okay, now what?' Which, to me, feels entirely symbolic. Branagh goes on to explain the scene further, and they discuss ways it can evolve. (In the actual released film, it's just a quick cut.)

And, of course, after a time, I turn and look behind me. Rows back, he's there, looking at the screen, with the same expression he had when we watched the film together in 2010. After a moment, he glances to me, and it becomes obvious neither of us know what to say.

I wake up with a horrid ringing in my ear -- not unusual, as I do get tinnitus, and it's the wintre. But so rarely does it occur in those conditions, I can only say it's been doing so recently.

And, the frosting is the song which will be used as the series' theme is playing on the radio, ending. Each time, it's on the second to last verse.

'I won't wait for you,' repeat, repeat, repeat, and then, 'wait for me.'

I'd say the first time this happened was ... early Sunday morning, and then last night, Tuesday morning (well, 4:30 is morning.)

I should check the transits to see what's going on there. But it's bothersome, being so recurrent.

This morning, I awoke and decided, okay. Okay. I need to do this. I spent the night meditating, and now, I need to approach the next part of this thing. The next phase.

What is the greater purpose of this relationship?

I know that it's fated and lifelong. But the purpose somewhat eludes me. There are a great many things we're doing together, accomplishing and achieving, on a personal as well as professional level.

So, I have to ask. Why is it this way?

Why the bizarre connexion? Why the really hard 'truths' to overcome? Why is it, flat out, the way that it is? Logic would dictate that it's supposed to help with the greater purpose -- rather than detract from or impede it.

And now I'm wondering, ultimately, what that is.

I figured your Lenormand skillz have gotten me this far. So why not go into phase #2?

posted November 18, 2014 03:51 PM            

Funny that you're wondering about that.. I have been asking myself that question too, about him. I'm not sure precisely what the answer is for us.. and actually I haven't asked my cards - I went to psychics. One said there is no lesson, that I just need closure. Mno, it somehow feels deeper than that. Another one said it's to observe red flags in order to avoid them in others. I'm not too convinced by that either. I mean, there should be something a little more profound for a Venus-NN conjunction in the composite.. no?

Maybe I should ask the Lenos too. But.. not yet. I'll do yours as soon as I get in that "zone".

posted November 22, 2014 12:41 AM            

The Osho Zen Tarot. It is amazing and one of my favorite decks because it is so profound and spiritual.

Since your question was specific I didn't do a formal spread, but rather a free-style with 5 cards, asking them to reveal the ultimate purpose of your relationship with your Guardian. I think the results are quite interesting.

The first card I drew was a Major Arcana (II) - Inner Voice.

The Inner Voice speaks not in words but in the wordless language of the heart. It is like an oracle who only speaks the truth. If it had a face, it would be like the face at the center of this card--alert, watchful, and able to accept both the dark and the light, symbolized by the two hands holding the crystal. The crystal itself represents the clarity that comes from transcending all dualities.
The Inner Voice can also be playful, as it dives deep into the emotions and emerges again to soar towards the sky, like two dolphins dancing in the waters of life. It is connected with the cosmos, through the crescent-moon crown, and the earth, as represented by the green leaves on the figure's kimono.

There are times in our lives when too many voices seem to be pulling us this way and that. Our very confusion in such situations is a reminder to seek silence and centering within. Only then are we able to hear our truth.

Second card was - 2 of Fire, Possibilities

The eagle has an overview of all the possibilities contained in the landscape below, as he flies freely, naturally and effortlessly through the sky. He is really in his domain, very grand and self-contained.

This card indicates that you are at a point where a world of possibilities is open to you. Because you have grown more loving towards yourself, more self-contained, you can work easily with others. Because you are relaxed and at ease, you can recognize possibilities as they present themselves, sometimes even before others can see them. Because you are in tune with your own nature, you understand that existence is providing you with exactly what you need. Enjoy the flight! And celebrate all the varied wonders of the landscape spread before you.

Third card was - King of Water - Healing

It is a time when the deeply buried wounds of the past are coming to the surface, ready and available to be healed. The figure in this card is naked, vulnerable, open to the loving touch of existence. The aura around his body is full of light, and the quality of relaxation, caring and love that surrounds him is dissolving his struggle and suffering. Lotuses of light appear on his physical body, and around the subtle energy bodies that healers say surround each of us. In each of these subtle layers appears a healing crystal or pattern.

When we are under the healing influence of the King of Water we are no longer hiding from ourselves or others. In this attitude of openness and acceptance we can be healed, and help others also to be healthy and whole.

Fourth card - King of Fire - The Creator

The Zen master in this card has harnessed the energy of fire and is able to use it for creation rather than destruction. He invites us to recognize and participate with him in the understanding that belongs to those who have mastered the fires of passion, without repressing them or allowing them to get destructive and out of balance. He is so integrated that there is no longer any difference between who he is inside and who he is in the world outside. He offers this gift of understanding and integration to all those who come to him, the gift of creative light that comes from the center of his being.

The King of Fire tells us that anything that we undertake now, with the understanding that comes from maturity, will bring enrichment to our own lives and to the lives of others. Using whatever skills you have, whatever you have learned from your own life experience, it is time to express yourself.

Fifth card - 9 of Water - Laziness

This gentleman clearly thinks he's got it made. He sits in his big over-stuffed chair, wearing his sunglasses, shaded by his umbrella, with his pink slippers and his piņa colada in his hand. He doesn't have the energy to get up and do anything because he thinks he's done it already. He hasn't yet turned to see the mirror cracking around him on his right, a sure sign that the place he thinks he's finally arrived at is about to shatter and dissolve before his very eyes.
The message this card brings is that this poolside resort is not your final destination. The journey isn't over yet, as that white bird flying into the vastness of the sky is trying to show. Your complacency might have arisen from a real sense of achievement, but now it's time to move on. No matter how fuzzy the slippers, how tasty the piņa colada, there are skies upon skies still waiting to be explored.

posted November 22, 2014 01:13 AM            

I don't know why, but that happens a lot when I read with the Osho deck. Such a shame though! It is so beautiful.

posted November 22, 2014 01:33 AM            

I love this deck so much as well! I always feel so peaceful and centered after I read with it. It has such an amazing effect!

I think another sequel is definitely in the cards! lol