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Author Topic:   A Grief Spread - help me understand
PlutoWasHere
Knowflake

Posts: 721
From: The Nether World
Registered: Mar 2021

posted November 08, 2022 04:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoWasHere     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I’m pretty new at Tarot but I’m trying to access my intuition to better understand certain situations in my life. Recently, I lost my mother and I decided I would try a “grief spread” to help me come to terms with her death. I pulled three cards for three questions: 1) why was it my mother’s time to go? 2) does she have a message for me? 3) how can I honor my mother? I got: 1) the lovers upright, 2) the fool reversed and 3) the hierophant reversed.

I’m really relieved that I pulled “the lovers” as the first card. To me it seems like it was her choice to leave at this particular moment, to be reunited with those she loved and lost before. It definitely feels like the right card for this question. It does put my mind at ease.

The last card, “the hierophant reversed”, also seems fitting for the question. I can honor my mother by following my own path. To not be afraid of what others think is right but to live by my own rules. My mother was an Aries Venus with a strong sense of values and she was very proud of my independence. It makes sense to me that I can honor her by doing things my own way.

But I’m having trouble understanding the second card though. It’s “the fool reversed”, and signifies a new beginning but I either have to be careful not to take too many risks or the message is I should enjoy myself more and not be so scared of the unknown? Am I on the edge of disaster or should I live a little?

I pulled a clarifying card to help out, “6 of pentacles”. This card is associated with generosity, giving and receiving. There’s a small inheritance my mother has left me. Enough for a fancy holiday for my kids and me. But it seems like a lot of money to spend at once and I have been hesitant to fully commit to the idea. It does feel like she would want me to enjoy myself more and use the money she left me to make good memories with the kids. That would definitely be something she would say to me.

If anyone could share some additional insights to the cards in this spread, it’s very much appreciated!

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teasel
Knowflake

Posts: 23324
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 11, 2022 10:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think the reversed fool matches the general advice to not make any big changes on a whim, when you're grieving.

When my mum died, my dad did his thing of clearing out as much as possible. I was lost, and in denial a lot of the time, so I didn't really get to look through most of her stuff, before he had it packed and given to the local goodwill store. A big illustrated version of The Wind in the Willows, that I'd given her, was one thing that was taken, and I didn't realize until a few months later. Things like that.

He also was asking me to look up real estate on the internet, in areas that he could transfer to, with his delivery company that he works for. Before mum went into the hospital, he had been thinking about moving us all to an area in Maryland, close to the ocean. So, I was looking up real estate, and neighbourhoods, but was then hit with massive anxiety about relocating not long after losing mum. I reminded him that it wasn't a good idea to leave everything we knew, and our only home for years (unusual for this family), until our emotions had settled more.

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PlutoWasHere
Knowflake

Posts: 721
From: The Nether World
Registered: Mar 2021

posted November 14, 2022 11:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoWasHere     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by teasel:
I think the reversed fool matches the general advice to not make any big changes on a whim, when you're grieving.

Thank you for sharing your story, Teasel. It’s not easy making rational decisions when you’re grieving and emotions are almost overwhelming. I feel like I’m just barely keeping it together because it’s all so much right now.

My ex father in law had a massive stroke last Wednesday and can’t talk or eat anymore. He’s just there, waiting for the end. Understandably, my oldest son with mild autism, has trouble coping with all these unpredictable and strongly emotional events. He’s had a few meltdowns today. I’ve started working again so I have some distraction but I’m running out of energy. I think I’m going to do another tarot spread tonight. See if I can get some advice.

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Randall
Webmaster

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From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 09, 2022 12:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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PlutoWasHere
Knowflake

Posts: 721
From: The Nether World
Registered: Mar 2021

posted December 09, 2022 04:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoWasHere     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, more tragedy followed after my last post. The father of my ex died a week after his stroke. I’m relieved he didn’t have to suffer any longer but it’s another person we have lost this year. It’s been such an emotionally draining period. I hope I’m done for now, because I could use some recovery time.

I did a Full Moon spread hoping I would get some more insight. It was 3 cards: 1) what do I need to let go off?, 2) what is the full moon illuminating for me?and 3) what can I expect to come into my path? I pulled all reverse cards: 1) reverse two of cups, 2) reverse tower and 3) reverse queen of pentacles.

The two of cups stands for relationships and harmony, the reverse can indicate break ups, divorce and arguments. So maybe my period of losing people will come to an end? Or I need to let go of my fear of getting close to people?

The tower stands for unexpected tragedy, chaos and destruction. The reverse can indicate recovery, internal transformation and averting tragedy. Maybe it’s time for recovery and an ending of all this external chaos?

The queen of pentacles stands for abundance, sharing of wealth and security. The reverse can indicate poverty, self-care and irrational fears. I really hope it indicates self-care because poverty and fear are not something I’m looking forward to.

Most positive interpretation: the time of personal loss is over, I now need to work on myself and my own needs. And worst case scenario: there is more chaos coming but I can avert danger by having my finances organized. I’m not going to take any risks and I will make sure that I put a little more effort in my administration and I’m not going to make any big expenditures the coming two months. I have always been good at budgeting so I know this is not going to be a problem.

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