posted June 22, 2003 04:02 AM         

im sorry for the overdramatic tone of that post... ugh. i am totally not like that. i had something weird happen right before i wrote that, and with mercury in gemini i think i was on overload. please, may i start again?

actually you know what... im gonna go edit that because i cant bear to see my words, no wonder i scare people off

im going to do that then respond to you jupiter. thank you for taking the time to respond to me.

i will point out right now though, i am well aware of depression, please dont worry about me, i dont have clinical depression. i do have post traumatic stress syndrome due to certain events in my life. that is under control. i have seen doctors and everything is a-ok. wow, i cant believe how i wrote that??? what was on my mind at the time, yeesh.

again please anyone who read that, if you can erase it and we can have a new first impression, i would be ever grateful. :/

posted June 22, 2003 05:42 AM         

tomorrow i will respond to you further jupiter, i am back to me ole self so i would love for you to see that lol.

right now i am very tired and i have one more thing i have to do, then i need to sleep.

you are very thoughtful. i appreciate your comments, and i would like to tell you how i am when i am not having fateful days like this hehe.

i dont think i will be using lindas numerology anymore (sorry linda!). i will explain tomorrow.

also i am one of the most skeptical people i know, i didnt come off that way but i really am. now that im grounded again, i can assure you that i dont take these ologies too seriously. well, astro yes, but i dont share lindas belief, what you said. *i am so tired right now, sorry, i am typing so lazy* i believe it is a road map for me personally, and thats how i use it.

anyway wow... what a day this has been...

have a good night

posted June 22, 2003 10:04 PM         

Do remember that numerology and astrology are influences on you, but your free will has the choice to overcome or sucumb! There is a positive side to everything and keeping in the lite can help you find it. Remember also that influence lexigramed contains the word IF for choices, FEEL FINE and NICE LIE. Free will gives you the opportunity to choose which you direction you wish to go in. You can be the divine soul you were created to be

I`m exhausted (haying season here) so I hope I made sense .

posted June 23, 2003 06:36 AM         

well my astrology thoughts are this... its an excellent roadmap. that doesnt mean i will reach my destination, or not reach it ahead of schedule and push on forward. lindas teachings of astrology were not very complex, as you probably know, juni. (may i call you juni?) i have been taking the astrology chart to very intricate levels. i dont believe we are bound to it, however to suggest that i could transform myself to the degree that i would go from being a libra sun to a person who seems more a capricorn sun in this lifetime, is something that i dont feel has a chance of happening. i 'chose' this birthdate for whatever higher reason i did, and i have to live it out as best i can. i cant be contrary to what i 'signed up' for, at the moment to my birth.

i am mostly happy with my chart. the aries moon makes me frustrated sometimes, but in general character i am not a bad person at all. i dont feel i have any serious personality issues. the thing i was afraid of was a transit. i am just getting into transits, and cannot comfortably interpret them myself, so i have to rely on other peoples observations. independant me doesnt like doing that.

i believe that we can try to rise above aspects in a chart, but astrology is the *only* thing in this world which has proven its validity to me with incontrovertable proof. it has never let me down. i cannot disregard it, and if there was something 'bad' or scary in my chart, i would have to face it, pretending it doesnt exist or is less important than it is would be specious.

i take astro very seriously, because to me 'seriously' denotes respect... and astrology is a very powerful tool so it is fully deserving of that respect. any great knowledge is. i know that i have free will. i just also know that there is a reason for things... sometimes we just dont know it

posted June 23, 2003 10:20 AM         

Sometimes I`d really like to see the 'blueprint' I choose for this lifetime cuz I wonder just what have I done to mys-elf . I`m a 22 and it`s been a long and difficult row to hoe. I chose it for wisdom,healing and to become what I need to be to meet the divine within the me-of-me. I wasted many years fighting it; the 'why me'syndrome . I`d say bout a 20 year pity party . I still stumble and fall, but try to keep my eye on the prize: the soul that was created in divineness of our creators.

We each have to follow our 'roadmap', warts and all . Love yours-elf too anafaery, that is the part we forget the most!!

posted June 25, 2003 03:09 AM         

anyway i was saying, i dont get along with females very well usually. some have this hidden jealous thing going on with me, i still dont know why. perhaps its because mentally i can think very much like a man, and men respect me for that, i really dont know. i do know that the women that just let me be me and appreciate me never would have a more loyal and loving friend. its even in my chart, this little woman thing... i cant remember the exact aspect right now, but i remember seeing it in there and thinking, 'aha!' because ive been aware of it my entire life on an unconscious level. a lot of women have played at being a friend and ended up betraying me in one way or another later.

the vibe i get from you is a vibe ive gotten before, from women who are very confident and can appreciate me for who i am without thinking themselves inferior in the process. thats why i feel so safe with you. and heck, i KNOW that you are an amazing person, hence my wishing that this was another life and we could have a weekend at that cabin in the woods to have the best conversations! i think you probably have a wicked sense of humor too, and i LOVE that! laughter is really the best medicine, and makes life so bright. i would love to pick your brain! i think you have a lot of amazing insights and experiences to share. i surely would love to hear what you have to say!

of course if you happened to be male, well that would put quite the spin on it