Posts: 224
From: Tx, US
Registered: Jul 2002

posted September 20, 2004 01:27 PM         

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I want to understand the concept of Reverse psychology. I found it interesting but still don't know how it works.

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Posts: 865
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004

posted September 20, 2004 02:46 PM         

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Reverse psychology would be for example, knowing that teenagers hate to do anything you tell them to, so you tell them, "for goodness sakes don't clean your room", or, "you couldn't clean your room even if you wanted to", in an effort to get them to clean it - if you told them to clean it, they wouldn't, so the logic goes that if you thell them NOT to or tell them they CAN'T, they will.

Dictionary.com defines it as:

"A technique of convincing a person that they will not succeed in hopes that it will spur them to succeed; a technique employing pessimism in order to effect a positive outcome"

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“The good things which belong to prosperity are to be wished, but the good things that belong to adversity are to be admired.” Seneca

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Posts: 224
From: Tx, US
Registered: Jul 2002

posted September 20, 2004 09:36 PM         

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This is so good.
One more help, look I don't go for sex. It's not that I don't want it but the reason is I still follow my orthodox culture(may be wrong in some way) that until I will get married I won't have.
One of my friend, he keeps on saying me that I am a frustrated woman.
What I analyzed about him in our friendship that he usually use this reverse psychology.
So what does he want to say me, I am not getting it.

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Posts: 617
From: UK
Registered: Aug 2003

posted September 20, 2004 10:10 PM         

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Hi SVirgo,
Im not sure on the details of your friendship and how you communicate and what was the conversation was about when he said that you are 'frustrated'? (Did he mean your sexually frustrated, to do with your culture and celibacy b4 marriage?)
Do you think of yourself as frustrated?
Im pretty sure when he says this he isen't using reverse psychology... it just wouldnt make sense!!
Could you give more details on what else he said when he said that? Did you do anything to make him say this? (eg kick something!!)

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Posts: 224
From: Tx, US
Registered: Jul 2002

posted September 20, 2004 10:23 PM         

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He is using reverse psychology. Because I told him and he said that you know the answer.
No, I don't think I am frustrated, because I don't leave any room in a day to think about sex. No I have not kicked him, he asked me for sex, and I refused it. That I don't do it, but I am not lesbian. So he started saying me that I am frustrated women.

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Posts: 617
From: UK
Registered: Aug 2003

posted September 21, 2004 10:32 AM         

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Ooohhhhh, ok, thanks for explaining!! Now I get it! Yes, I think it does actually sound like he may be using reverse psychology after you said no to having sex with him, he's probably hurt and annoyed and maybe regretting asking you; so then he says your frustrated because hes projecting how HE feels onto you. (Somthing similar happened to me when a guy asked me out and I said I wasnt interested!!)
My advice? Maybe just ignore him, try acting as if him saying this is like saying you have bright pink hair, tell him "Whatever, maybe I am, maybe Im not." Im thinking that hes saying this to get a reaction from you, and if you show that you do not care - his plan wont work.
Just an idea, I could be wrong, what do YOU think!?

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Posts: 2239
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted September 21, 2004 10:58 AM         

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I say, hold to your principles. If not for your pirnicples, what do you really have?

If he continues to push you, and you've made it clear to him you ARE NOT going to have sex until you're married, I would move on.

Might seem unbelievable, but there are plenty of guys out there who don't wish to have sex until they're married.

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Posts: 224
From: Tx, US
Registered: Jul 2002

posted September 21, 2004 11:57 PM         

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That is what I am doing holding my principles and loosing male friends. After little while everybody wants the same thing unless they are married people.

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Posts: 2239
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted September 22, 2004 12:24 AM         

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You think getting married makes them want it less? I've been with the same man for almost 10 years now, and there are times I still feel I need to beat him off with a broom

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Posts: 224
From: Tx, US
Registered: Jul 2002

posted September 23, 2004 06:26 PM         

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Yes, that makes me smile.

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Posts: 72
From: Edison, NJ, USA
Registered: Sep 2004

posted September 24, 2004 11:29 AM         

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I have heard of reverse thinking. This reverse psychology is new to me. But I do believe it works, because I always end up doing things I am told not to do because of my curiosity.

Anyway on a side note:
Reverse thinking is answered by answer to this question :

"How would you open a bottle of wine thats closed by a cork."

Only using hands and nothing else.

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Posts: 224
From: Tx, US
Registered: Jul 2002

posted September 24, 2004 01:28 PM         

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I liked your example.

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Posts: 875
From: outer space
Registered: Aug 2003

posted September 25, 2004 11:52 AM         

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The real term for reverse psychology is "paradoxical inversion". nerdy psych major here

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