posted December 31, 2004 04:12 PM         

I've noticed, when in a bad situation and needing outside advice...if one were to ask one source, and then another source, the advice from both sources can be extremely different...

I've noticed this myself. I've asked for advice on certain situations from other people, and even message boards. The answers are almost always some sort of quick fix, defensiveness from the person who is asked, or sort of "tough love". But if I ask here, or ask someone who I've known to be more spiritual, the advice given is almost always very wise, includes a sort of truth about life, and is encouraging.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense, as I can't solidly express what I"m thinking about...but say like, I have a friend who is in a bad situation...I've actually asked for help on how I can help her...and I've had a person actually start asking me questions implying that my friend is a bad person! And this is from someone who was in the same situation as my friend. But I know if I come here and ask the same question, there'd be some wisdom and positive energy. And it happens ALL THE TIME!

posted December 31, 2004 07:18 PM         

I'm not a support group kind of person. Although we need support from others, the rebel in me doesnt like rules or following guidelines. What could work for one could be the downfall of another.

When asking for advice and recieving 'answers' from multiple sources, you are always going to get a part of that persons personality or may I say *ego* involved in their answer. Oftentimes that is good. Usually you can take a little nugget of wisdom from each source. But when it all comes down to it, you've got to go deep within, which most people arent used to doing. They are used to having others define them. They live the labels they've been given and havent yet figured out who they are. The part of them that isnt seen through the eyes of another. Do you know what I mean? This is something we all deal with.

We've got to strip off those layers of us. The way we are seen through others eyes and get down to who we really are. I think that is alot of people problem. Theyve lost themselves in who they have been told they are from others. It is there that people lose their power. They only know themselves through others eyes, and that's confusing and even frustrating at times.

I think deep down we are all good and loving souls. Even the most so-called bad or evil people. But those people have strayed very far away from themselves. Theyve forgotten themselves.

The person who was implying that your friend was a bad person was coming from a place of judgement and ego. Especially since you said that same person was at one point in the same position as your friend. Proof that while it's nice to get an outside opinion, the only real way to go is within. But this takes alot of work to be able to get through your own quirks and get to a point of stepping outside of yourself and getting some clear wisdom. Not letting your wants effect your answer.

The answers that anyone needs are there, waiting to be seen. But usually they are blocked by the person. I like to ask for signs. The Universe works in mysterious ways and is always looking to help you out. The trick is to keep your eyes open. Live in awareness. It's all there waiting to be looked at.

I think the best advice usually comes from people who have at one point been really down and out. Theyve gone through dark, rough times and have pulled themselves out. The troopers. It's only when youve gone to the depths that you can reach the highest altitudes. The most important thing is to listen to the feeling you get inside when someone gives you advice. If you get a good or warm feeling about it, you can be sure there is a message in it for you. If the advice annoys you or doesnt feel right to you in anyway - gives you a negative emotion - dont follow it.

You have a very good guide inside of you, to tell you what is best for you. Some people call it your gut feeling, intuition. But it is as simple as paying attention to your emotions. The feeling you get from something. It's never wrong.

When you start giving it more of your attention, it starts to work better for you and will always lead you in the right direction.

I hoped that helped in some way. I think I understood your question.

posted January 03, 2005 07:52 PM         

But I really know what you mean as far as support groups and their ability to actually contribute positive advice to someone. Support groups are more specified to certain areas of experience. Like, MADD or ALANON, where certain situations are shared by all, or at least pretty closely related. I think it's harder to actually go to those people for advice, as a lot of the techniques used to help them in the first place comes from a ''tough love'' place, or one that is more like a 'generalized response' answer.
There are no real answers, it's all down to personal experince/opinon. I think here it is very free to be examined, and open to interpretation. Maybe becuase it's more 'spiritual', maybe becuase whoever can give advice in a positive manner will, whereas those who may have only negative things to say will refrain from complicating matters. I'm not sure why, but I do agree with you, there does seem to be a lot more positvity here when it comes to asking for advice. Sometimes I'm not sure it's really advice at all, to me it's more like sitting around a coffee table with a bunch of good friends vibing about life and sharing experiences... if any great nuggets of truth are shared, awesome! If nobody has anything to share, that's okay too. Better off for them if they haven't been through the same sadness or struggle.
There is also a certain level of respect and understanding here that I haven't found in a lot of other places. Like, say you are at an AA meeting, and you get up and share your story, there is always a guy who is like, ''that's nothing man, I once.. blah blah blah..'' when all you really want is for someone to just listen, not go on and on about how ''they had it worse''.. I think that happens here. When people share advice/personal experience, it's never in an ''OH YEAH!! Well I did that times ten!'' way, it's more supportive, more positive.
We have nothing to 'gain' from each other, only what we put out there reciprocated. If we want support and compassion, we all give it, and there never seems to be animosity (except in GU on occasion, but we all love a little drama once in a while ) or hard feelings.
I will simply end this rant (yeah, it's a rant, as most things this Aries rising/Leo moon usually has to offer) by saying I think we all love without expectation and share without inhibition, which makes for a really open and loving 'home'...

Hope I didn't get too far off topic...

posted January 04, 2005 01:05 AM         

I didn’t even think about possibly getting another’s ego in an answer until recently, when I had someone giving me advice I didn’t ask for that was rather hurtful! I also noticed something else you mentioned, and that is actually an issue I have myself – I’m still trying to figure out who I am (which is why I personally don’t like giving advice myself).

I just started experimenting with just asking myself questions when there’s a problem to work on. Ask, then turn my mind to something else and usually answers start coming to me. Brand new thing for me! And so far, I’m surprised what my subconscious comes up with.

I think you are right that the best people to ask are those who have already been there. I have tried that with positive things (not problems), like networking when I was doing the radio stuff…the results are amazing at asking the right person!

But I think lately the frustration has been coming from not listening to myself 100% when someone offers advice. Not good for me to do especially since I do have a rather strong intuition. Thank you thank you!!

Kat, I agree that we are at the mercy of the person giving advice. Actually, building my own self-esteem and self-confidence is a HUGE struggle for me that I’m working on.
I know about the friends who you can only ask certain advice from, I have one friend I just don’t ask advice from and just kind of let it slide when she gives her opinions/suggestions when not asked and I’m just talking about something. But yup!!! You are right in just having to build up confidence and trust that we can make the right decisions!

Ghanima: haha I agree that it is more like sitting around having coffee with friends here! I like that, it’s something missing from my real life I looooove looove looove shared experiences!! I’m glad personal experiences expressed here aren’t competition as well Makes it much more comfortable.

posted January 04, 2005 09:07 PM         

I think there are three main reasons why this site is so loving:
1. It's dedicated to Lidna who's every words and philosophies were filled with love. I've never read anyone that makes everyone feel so special about everything. And Magical. Hence most people here most likely come from this kind of background. Not to mention her presence here. I've read (in Conversations with God) that the instant you think of someone who has left this material plane, they will be there, no matter how many people asked in any instant. The reason is that they are everywhere, and yet can focus into specific areas too. I wonder if in there lasted carnated form whether they can still do this - maybe astrally during their sleep? Or maybe just daydreams or the soul peices Linda talked of.
2. It's founded by Randall who is such a cool dude, that his positivity rubs off over everything. Well, I think so.
3. The violet background - subconsciously invokes feelings of love and peace. As Linda said Violet = Love, Let Live. Or something like that