sue g
Knowflake Posts: 898
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted May 24, 2005 11:40 AM
 
I came back to live in Ireland 10 years ago. When I say "came back", well Ive never lived here before in this life, but I am beginning to understand what some of the old ones who I have met mean, when they say "when did you come back"? My unease with this lifetime has brought me back to a place where I can "breathe" and relax. but even so I miss so much that "old" life, the one where things were slower, purer, albeit harder in other ways. I always had an "irish" feel about me, others saw and felt it and the natives here act a little surprised when the see how I have immersed myself into the culture (even tho some might see me as from the nation who destroyed them in the past). As an example I was in the pub on friday at a traditional irish music session.............well so called.........80% of the musicians are English, that feels strange to me. Anyway there was this guy playing guitar, he was brilliant, alive and very irish (a Dub), and for the craic he said "this song is an ant--brit song, but said it with a twinkle in his eye. Anyway the english guys in the session took offence and again I amazed myself with the way I jumped to the defence of the irish. One guy turned to yer man and said something like "oh you Irish are a bit slow on the uptake arent you" in a very pompous english accent and another one started to play God Save The Queen on the fiddle. I couldnt help it, I shouted "that is really out of order guys". I mean yer man was just having a bit of a laugh and they wouldnt let it go, one woman walked out. I then went on to sing with the Irish guy, it felt great, if felt like going back, it felt like coming home. When I left the pub and went back to my house I sat down and cried. You guys reading this may think I am crazy, but I miss that life so much, I still yearn for the warmth and familiarity of if. You see I was an Irish nationalist, a member of the IRA, a verty very rebellious Irish woman who at one point was dragged away from her home and killed. I still sometimes see the english as the opposition, I am trying to heal this, but when I saw what went on with their pompous attitudes and their inflated egos, it made me feel sick. I met some lovely rural irish people in the last place I lived in (east Cork), but they are all travelling now and I miss them terribly. The other thing I find difficult is the english ones in the session carry no joy with them - they dont "live for the day" like the irish. I am so connected to the past, I am afraid at times, the memory of it overwhelms me. Oh and just to add intrigue to it, Mr Libra was there with me, and now we dont even speak with each other. I would love to hear what you guys think - or whether you have had similar experiences - I mean of being one nationality and feeling at odds with it? Love and peace to all xxx  IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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