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Author
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Topic: Living in the past
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sue g
Knowflake Posts: 6700
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted May 24, 2005 11:44 AM
 
I came back to live in Ireland 10 years ago. When I say "came back", well Ive never lived here before in this life, but I am beginning to understand what some of the old ones who I have met mean, when they say "when did you come back"? My unease with this lifetime has brought me back to a place where I can "breathe" and relax. but even so I miss so much that "old" life, the one where things were slower, purer, albeit harder in other ways. I always had an "irish" feel about me, others saw and felt it and the natives here act a little surprised when the see how I have immersed myself into the culture (even tho some might see me as from the nation who destroyed them in the past). As an example I was in the pub on friday at a traditional irish music session.............well so called.........80% of the musicians are English, that feels strange to me. Anyway there was this guy playing guitar, he was brilliant, alive and very irish (a Dub), and for the craic he said "this song is an ant--brit song, but said it with a twinkle in his eye. Anyway the english guys in the session took offence and again I amazed myself with the way I jumped to the defence of the irish. One guy turned to yer man and said something like "oh you Irish are a bit slow on the uptake arent you" in a very pompous english accent and another one started to play God Save The Queen on the fiddle. I couldnt help it, I shouted "that is really out of order guys". I mean yer man was just having a bit of a laugh and they wouldnt let it go, one woman walked out. I then went on to sing with the Irish guy, it felt great, if felt like going back, it felt like coming home. When I left the pub and went back to my house I sat down and cried. You guys reading this may think I am crazy, but I miss that life so much, I still yearn for the warmth and familiarity of if. You see I was an Irish nationalist, a member of the IRA, a verty very rebellious Irish woman who at one point was dragged away from her home and killed. I still sometimes see the english as the opposition, I am trying to heal this, but when I saw what went on with their pompous attitudes and their inflated egos, it made me feel sick. I met some lovely rural irish people in the last place I lived in (east Cork), but they are all travelling now and I miss them terribly. The other thing I find difficult is the english ones in the session carry no joy with them - they dont "live for the day" like the irish. I am so connected to the past, I am afraid at times, the memory of it overwhelms me. Oh and just to add intrigue to it, Mr Libra was there with me, and now we dont even speak with each other. I would love to hear what you guys think - or whether you have had similar experiences - I mean of being one nationality and feeling at odds with it? Love and peace to all xxx  IP: Logged |
fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 5816
From: ~out looking for Schrodinger's cat~
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted May 24, 2005 12:59 PM
Sue g!
You seem very bummed out!
Keep talking ok?
Were the multiple postings on this and another thread unintentional or is that what you intended?
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sue g
Knowflake Posts: 6700
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted May 24, 2005 01:57 PM
Hi Fayte, they were unintentional, I have pmt and get a bit "mad" and usually my computer goes on one with me (whats new) LOL. Thanks for your reply, really helps, I know you understand, I am extreme by nature as you will also understand and I "see" a lot of stuff others often cant even be bothered to look at and so therefore I feel the highs and lows more. I am okay but just get knocked back at times by this stuff I was talking of. If you can suggest any quicker way to clear it, I am seeing a shaman healer at moment and have friends who are in the healing line of work. Thanks again Fayte, love to you Sue xx IP: Logged |
fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 5816
From: ~out looking for Schrodinger's cat~
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted May 24, 2005 09:15 PM
Sue g  IP: Logged |
LeoSweetHeart
Knowflake Posts: 539
From:
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted May 24, 2005 09:37 PM
I don't feel such an intense connection with any one place, but I have felt more of a cultural connection with many eastern cultures than I do with the American way of life. I feel a pull towards China, India, Turkey, Russia, France, Argentina, South Africa, Australia and many others...and I have never understood why. My friends are usually from diff backgrounds and I never hang out with Americans that are close minded about other cultures, because if anything this culture feels strange to me. Well I know what I feel is not quite as intense as you, but I just wanted to say I think I understand. Its sounds to me though like there might be another special purpose for you in Ireland, since you feel so strongly about it. I think its beautiful that your in a place that feels like home IP: Logged |
iAmThat
Knowflake Posts: 1255
From: third rock from the Sun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted May 25, 2005 12:57 AM
I just came out from an intense spiritual talk by a Tibetan monk. It was fabulous to hear him.
Based on what I heard today there is something called equanamity (equalness of all thing) Each one must meditate and excel in this area. I guess Sue, Leo, and myself have some connection to this principle.
I will see if I can add some thoughts later.
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Irish Eyes
Knowflake Posts: 443
From: PA,USA
Registered: Apr 2004
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posted May 26, 2005 12:29 AM
sue g-Good God! Do I ever feel like you do! Well over half of my friends are from across the Alantic. They ALL find it hard to believe that I have always lived in the States and that I have NEVER visited another country.
I live, dress, talk and act like I come from Europe. When my frinds from overseas come to visit me they feel right at home and always comment on how I am not American.
I have always had dreams of other lives lived in Ireland, France, Holland, and Germany. When I was a young child I would BEG my mother to take me home. I still feel that way. But for now I will settle for having great friends that find my home and company to be familar. (for those reading this that may not understand....I am an American, and I love this country. I am not saying that I dislike this country only that it doesn't feel like home for me.) Thank you for letting me vent! -Irish IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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