posted August 03, 2005 02:27 PM         

I asked him if he was weary of life and he replied "yes", I asked if he had had enough of living,to which he replied "if it wasnt for your mum, I wouldnt bother carrying on". He admitted that to me, and I felt honoured that he could...........you see I have been there, not wanting to live..........we are kindred spirits.......we have an understanding of the suffering and struggle being human can bring.

It was until hours later that I realised he didnt mention wanting to live for his grandkids or his daughters............strange that isnt it? At one time I would have been in bits over that, but not now, I am reaching an understanding which has brought me to a place of calm and acceptance..........
**************************"x**************************My lovely music teacher and I were talking about death - we both being Scorpio have a certain fascination. Anyway he told me a while back his phone rang early in the morning, it was his neighbour, her husband had died and she called my teacher and his wife over. He said there was the poor old boy laid out on the bed and stone cold. His missus was slagging him for all she was worth "he was a right fecker, drinking and throwing all our shagging money away etc etc". He said it was a really bizarre situation, and almost surreal............maybe she didnt do it when he was alive, and wanted to get her two penneth in whilst he couldnt hear her - I laughed my socks off when he told me this story, so Irish
******************************************************And finally......

The same teacher told me that the local pub in the village where we lived lost a very popular woman, she was the landlady and everyone loved her.......the craic (fun) and ceol (music) to be had in their was mighty and everyone frequented it often. Her wake was held in the pub - her coffin was open and everyone danced and sang around her. Oooooh they used to stand the coffin UP in days of old but this tradition has died out now. When he finishes telling the story he said "oh Sue you would have loved it, it was really you" and I replied "how so" and he said "it was really traditionally Irish, the old ways".

When I got home I laughed, cos I am English...........aaahh those past lives seems to follow me everywhere.......maybe in one of them they stood me up in my coffin in the pub, with all the fiddlers playing and I bet I danced my a**** off too LOL!!

Love to all - enjoy life

Sue xx