Posts: 310
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted September 09, 2005 05:49 PM         

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ok, i've finally gotten proof! sorry, this will only make me feel better, excuse teh language...god, so fed up..but i have proof now! i've gone thru six years of this and i haven't had proof..but here it is...

threatening or intimidating to gain compliance --saying i'm gonna kill u

destruction of the victim’s personal property and possessions, or threats to do so -once he was mad, and came down and threw all the cds onto the ground

violence to an object (such as a wall or piece of furniture) or pet, in the presence of the intended victim, as a way of instilling fear of further violence --yep, that one time when he kicked my puppy cuz he peed on the ground, orwhen he threw something at me...
yelling or screaming -ah...duh?
name-calling --well lets see, fat ugly hariy worthelss lazy stupid everything is my fault
constant harassment --hmm...see above...happens every ******* day

embarrassing, making fun of, or mocking the victim, either alone within the household, in public, or in front of family or friends --hell yeah! ******* hell yes!
criticizing or diminishing the victim’s accomplishments or goals ---yep yep, lots...like **** i dont even wanna remember
not trusting the victim’s decision-making ---eh..no **** ?
telling the victim that they are worthless on their own, without the abuser ---bam! BINGO! SAys it to mommy, says it to me.
excessive possessiveness, isolation from friends and family --oh yep...no family friends whtsoever...i wandered why...
excessive checking-up on the victim to make sure they are at home or where they said they would be ---acutally not this..only when i'm at parties
saying hurtful things while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and using the substance as an excuse to say the hurtful things --nope, he doesn't even need drugs or alcholoh...depression can do it, and trust me, hes a very depressed fat man
blaming the victim for how the abuser acts or feels ---eh...no **** ? Hes always like ,yeah i'm ****** cuz christina did this and taht...and i'd be like...eh...when'd i do that, in ur dreams?
making the victim remain on the premises after a fight, or leaving them somewhere else after a fight, just to “teach them a lesson” --acutally...yesh...a lot,
making the victim feel that there is no way out of the relationship ---hmm..actualy yeah, there is really no way out..

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Posts: 5183
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted September 09, 2005 06:22 PM         

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There is a way out.

Go to school.

Work hard.

Get a good job.

Work harder.

Leave.

Start your adult life.

Parents haven't any control over their grown children... unless the grown child gives up that control to the parent.

How old are you, hon?

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Posts: 310
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted September 09, 2005 06:32 PM         

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K, not sure if the last one when thru..i pressed something...kinda clumsy right now, got a horrid pain in stomahc

but wht i was saying b4 (in case the last email didn't go thru)
I'll be sixteen on sept 23. he came when i was ten.

and the clubs i'm joining which makes having a job hard are APC (Animal protection club) CPC (cancer prevention club) green times (a greenpeace sort of club, meditation (maybe...) and social service (where u help out hospitalized ppl or old or read to kids..i'm not sure yet..i can't do them all the time, because i have homework and tests and quizzes and i go to a school thats relly relly hard on the students and i can't stand any more of this nonsence> argh..sorry though.

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Posts: 310
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted September 09, 2005 06:32 PM         

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K, not sure if the last one when thru..i pressed something...kinda clumsy right now, got a horrid pain in stomahc

but wht i was saying b4 (in case the last email didn't go thru)
I'll be sixteen on sept 23. he came when i was ten.

and the clubs i'm joining which makes having a job hard are APC (Animal protection club) CPC (cancer prevention club) green times (a greenpeace sort of club, meditation (maybe...) and social service (where u help out hospitalized ppl or old or read to kids..i'm not sure yet..i can't do them all the time, because i have homework and tests and quizzes and i go to a school thats relly relly hard on the students and i can't stand any more of this nonsence> argh..sorry though.

IP: Logged

Posts: 310
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted September 09, 2005 06:32 PM         

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K, not sure if the last one when thru..i pressed something...kinda clumsy right now, got a horrid pain in stomahc

but wht i was saying b4 (in case the last email didn't go thru)
I'll be sixteen on sept 23. he came when i was ten.

and the clubs i'm joining which makes having a job hard are APC (Animal protection club) CPC (cancer prevention club) green times (a greenpeace sort of club, meditation (maybe...) and social service (where u help out hospitalized ppl or old or read to kids..i'm not sure yet..i can't do them all the time, because i have homework and tests and quizzes and i go to a school thats relly relly hard on the students and i can't stand any more of this nonsence> argh..sorry though.

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Posts: 5183
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted September 09, 2005 06:54 PM         

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It sounds like you're keeping yourself pretty busy. That's probably a good choice.

So, this guy is your Step Dad? Your mother is alright with him speaking to you this way?

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Posts: 1812
From: .:*~*:. Australia.:*~*:.
Registered: Jan 2004

posted September 09, 2005 08:25 PM         

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Your dreams are your way out, your goals, your own life.
Focus on that, keep dreaming of something better, keep dreaming that soon you'll leave the abuse and your life will improve.
And you are wise to keep busy, do all you can, be the best person you can be in the face of negativity.
You are a bright girl, you can get through this, if anything it will only make you stronger.

When he is on fire, keep your distance, don't stir the pot.
Don't reason, don't talk back, don't even give him the time of day. Find the little place inside of you that keeps the dreams hidden, that serene place of inner peace, go there when you're being attcked, and just walk away. And never blame yourself for his anger.

When you feed his anger by responding you will only make him more furious....he is not listening to you, he is only listening to his own thoughts.
I know this too well.

Remember girl, you are in control of your destiny. Surround yourself with a white light shield when he is mad, and don't let the negativity penetrate you.
Keep quiet and calm, and go do something else.

Be safe. Am sending angels to give you strength and courage.

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"...and dreams, don't ever forget, are the first step in manifesting wishes into reality"
-Linda Goodman

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