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Author Topic:   problem kid.......please help
let ther b light
Knowflake

Posts: 16
From: bombay, india
Registered: Aug 2005

posted September 19, 2005 07:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for let ther b light     Edit/Delete Message
hey everyone
wanna share something with all of u'll........n i hope to get some help

i have a cousin who is about to turn 9(7 oct 1996).........she has been acting like a real nuisance for along tome now.her mother is soooo driven up the wall that she has high bp.

around a year and a half back she quitely climbed on the edge of her building terrace and said something very shocking......she said i wanna die.......thank god we noticed she was missin..........her elder sis gently went upto her and pulled her down.

everyday she refuses to eat properly or study........all she is interested in is goin down to meet her friends and play with them.

yesterday's scene:
i go to her house. her mom is tryin to get her to study....she holds the book for a few seconds in front of her n then starts chewing the edge.....no concentration.
then her mum tries to get her to eat..........she eats a few bite forcibly.........drops half of it........tries to bug her elder sister(she wants to sit in the same place as hetr elder sis).....then her sis tries to explain to her, shouts at her.........i tell the elder one "dont........n i cant finish the sentence, since the younger one (the problem kid) only completes it for me......"dont pay attention to her" and starts giggling........im totally shocked as to how did she knew wat im goin to say

all this may sound normal but really speakin there's no reason why she shud b so stubborn about everythin....coz everyone really loves her.....she was really cute(still is, tho a bit chubbier than she shud be)........she's fussy about everything........and her mother is reallly harrowed........so id really appreciate some advice
thanks
diya

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let ther b light
Knowflake

Posts: 16
From: bombay, india
Registered: Aug 2005

posted September 19, 2005 07:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for let ther b light     Edit/Delete Message
also wanna add if someone can look up her charts, planets since im not good at it, it wud b really great.....she was born at either 7:50 or 8:50 pm in mumbai, india

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 2706
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004

posted September 19, 2005 09:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Hi let ther b light

I am sorry to read about this little girl, ny heart went out to her and I hope I can offer some help to you and the child's mother...

Firstly to my mind and heart, no child is a nuisance, just misunderstood....we have talked of Indigo children, in this thread....it may help you to go in and have a look!

Our child is also very challenging, very gifted, advanced in some ways, but every day I am finding my patience is being pushed to the limit.......that is WHY he came to us....to teach us!!!

He doesnt eat very well, resists lots of things I ask him to do, homework, getting dressed etc.......he is going to be 7 year old in November. He also has "dark thoughts" and if it wasnt for people who have come into our lives (well angels disguised as people) I would probably have been quite freaked out by now..

Fortunately as I am open and fascinated by most things, I took the time to study him and his behaviour.......we have taken him to lots of healers, had his chart read three or four times.....he goes for art and music and colour therapy, is learning to sing and sound toning (vibrational sound for the body, helps to balance the energy/chakras). I have also been told by many that his behaviour is the result of a strong past life imprint.......strange as it may sound.....it makes sense......he is struggling with what he came in with........fear/phobias that affected him in the last life!

I have had to learn a unique and unusual way to raise him.....it takes immense patience, understanding, time and of course unconditional love. Shouting doesnt work, Ive never slapped him, but I am very firm and kind with him......and it does work, but leaves me exhausted.

Dont we often think that our children will just behave in a normal childlike fashion.......LOL.......all I can say to that is whatever your karma is.....it could come in the form of our kids....it has with me!!!

When you talk of her being loved, I am sure she is, but at times children need that extra bit of understanding as well as the love. As for her mother, she needs to mind herself too.....I talk from experience!!

I hope this helps, and I would be delighed to answer any questions, if I can help at all please dont hesitate to ask.

Sending love


Sue G xxx


"Mol na hoige agus tiocfaidh siad

Praise the children and they will progress"

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let ther b light
Knowflake

Posts: 16
From: bombay, india
Registered: Aug 2005

posted September 19, 2005 09:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for let ther b light     Edit/Delete Message
thanks sue as usual u hav taken the pains to answer my queries........i am really greatful....but iwanna ask u....do children normally act lik this for sooo long.........even after v hav tried almost everythin..........i mean it sure seems strange............maybe ur right abt past life karma.........coz it sure seems unreasonable fr her to behave this way in spite of gettin all the attn
i wanted to tell her mum that maybe she shud see a counsellor.......but did not no how to esp since she was already so upset..........n u no normally my aunt is really nice........she is really righteous, nice at heart, compassionate.....she's sag.......but i have never seen her lose it d way she did yesterday........when my cuz wasnt eatin........she(my aunt) cud not take it anymore......she looked at my cousin n said"i feel lik slappin u".......with a very contorted angry face.............n my cosin started gigglin again aftr a second............lik IMPOSSIBLE behaviour
another thing ig she does not stick to any one thing for long......lik she joint drumming lessons n left midway....

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 2706
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004

posted September 19, 2005 09:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Yeah if it was me (well it was me).......I would ask for help.....we cant always do it on our own. The child is obviously trying to communicate something which isnt being heard.....this is nobodys fault.....it just is......it could even be that your aunt and her have karma to work out !!

I would tend to look carefully for someone who works with children in a "childlike" way....thro music and drama maybe or art (like our son does)....I feel just talking doesnt always work.....often kids need to "act out" their fears in a creative way.....as do adults too!!

This would be good for your aunt too...take the pressure of HER for a while!

I am not good at reading charts.....but I know someone here will.......it is something I had done for our son the week after he was born.....so to speak we knew what we were letting ourselves in for LOL !!!

If I can help further......I am so aware of the need for understanding......especially with children


xx xx

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 2706
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004

posted September 19, 2005 09:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Your aunt needs to have timeout too...would she go for a massage or some Reiki....maybe you could get her a voucher as a gift?

Re the attention span....our son also cannot stick at things for long....they used to call it ADHD.....I think it more relates to the Indigo vibration...or the advanced child......all we can do is encourage them to carry things thro...but when I do this my son will say "but I cant help it mum, this is the way God made me"!!!!!!

xxx

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Devilfish
Knowflake

Posts: 324
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted September 19, 2005 09:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Devilfish     Edit/Delete Message
right away im noticing her libra sun is acting out the negative traits of the opposite sign of aries, not finishing things aggressiveness ect.
havent looked at the chart yet but libra stands for balance and fairness / justice.
this child needs more discpline.children need boundries, without them they feel unloved and insecure.this child is ruling her parent, and has no fear of consequences.there must be consistant consequances for ones actions, when children dont learn this from parents they learn it more harshly from there own cause and effect which is a more painful path then guidance thru loving hands.
there is a good chance she is highly intelligent and as such bores easily.she is already identifying with the label of bad child.she is screaming for attention, and is getting it thru negative reinforcment.praise the good things about her, but make sure there are consequences for the negative.
love love love is important , as is consistancy.

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 2706
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004

posted September 19, 2005 12:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Devilfish

I totally agree with the boundary thing, it is so important for a child to feel safe

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ILove
Knowflake

Posts: 129
From: Clermont, FL - usa
Registered: Jan 2005

posted September 19, 2005 12:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ILove     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you for sharing your story. I loved sue g and devil...they really make should help.

Also, Libra's can have a very hard time making up their mind. In children, it can be about what to eat first, what subject in homework to do first, what to clean first. My sister helped her daughter much at first by giving clear instruction on what is expected. At homework time, just give them one subject at a time. At cleaning, just give them one task at a time, at dinner, just one food at a time. At playtime, just set out one type of toy at a time. They will learn how to decide better sooner that later. The poor babes just can't decide and want to always be fair!

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Svetlana
Knowflake

Posts: 162
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2005

posted September 19, 2005 12:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Svetlana     Edit/Delete Message
There's times for charts and all the spiritual staff and there's time to go and get some other forms of help. We do live in a physical world and that's what might this child need: special diet, massage, classes, specialists who might teach parents to cope,etc. Not to say that her mom doesn't know what to do but she might need someone to point her in a different direction.
The best of luck to you and yours.

------------------
We are the ones we've been waiting for.

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LibraSparkle
Moderator

Posts: 5302
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted September 19, 2005 12:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraSparkle     Edit/Delete Message
Hello.

I have a little Libra daughter that will be 9 October 3rd.

Structure is very important to her. If she doesn't have structure, it all feels like chaos.

Here is how I would handle the eating situation...

For starters, it could very well be that she is given too many options. I see a lot of parents offering kids all these different things to eat, and the kid doesn't want any of them. My solution is... stop offering options. THIS is what we are having for breakfast. Don't eat it. That is fine. You'll be extra hungry for lunch.

Children don't starve themselves to death in protest of broccoli. Eventually in the child's stubbornness, they will become so hungry they will eat whatever you put before them.

If you are constant with this, eventually it will just be the way it is. Meal times will no longer be a struggle.

I don't really see that there is anything you can do about this situation, though. You are not her parent, and many parents (especially many of those parents with out of control children) don't like to be told there is something they are doing wrong to create the situation.

Quite often parents are too focused on being their children's friend, and the respect for the parent is lost. It is quite unfortunate.

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Svetlana
Knowflake

Posts: 162
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2005

posted September 19, 2005 01:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Svetlana     Edit/Delete Message
LibraSparkle

------------------
We are the ones we've been waiting for.

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 2706
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004

posted September 19, 2005 05:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Well said Libra Sparkle

I think if you are a parent......and are under the impression that you are doing everything right.....you're in trouble......we live and learn dont we girl ??

How could we teach our little ones to grow....if we never admit to being in the wrong. One thing I can remember getting so frustrated about...is my parents inability to say sorry...so I ensure, when I have done wrong I apologise...its a very powerful thing !!!

xxx

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let ther b light
Knowflake

Posts: 16
From: bombay, india
Registered: Aug 2005

posted September 20, 2005 06:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for let ther b light     Edit/Delete Message
thank u all for your help..........i really appreciate it

sue
i think u r right about my aunt needin some pressure to be lifted off her.....but she wants to do everything herself.....she thinks no one else can handle it......n i dont think she'll agree to reiki.......i think ill suggest the massage idea to her...thanks

devilfish
u r bang on about the kid ruling her parents n not fearing the consequences....she does need boundaries........she has really been spoilt rotten wid attention since the day she was born........everyone was really ecstatic since my aunt had lost a child earlier n they feared they wud lose her too...and plus she was just toooooooooooo cute.so she got all the attention

so now after so much time of attention.......the correcting of mistakes by chiding or punishin is'nt workin

ilove
thanks.......will surely tell my aunt to try that

svetlana
i really wanna tell my aunt that they probably need professional help but don no how to.........i think she might get offended....but will have to think of a diplomatic way of sayin it

librasparkle
i no that iam not her parent..but seeing her mother in the state she was really made me feel sorry fr her. she looked totally fed up and frustrated.........so i really wanted to help her.

love
diya

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