posted October 26, 2005 05:44 PM         

The impression my post written yesterday on this thread may have come off as whimsical and not very thoughtful. I could understand this, considering the few sentences written and some gestures made out of jest. I actually put a lot of thought into it and presented something which I had hoped would across as easy to read, yet serious enough to be considered as a grain of salt - present, but not overtly overwhelming as to be considered a personal attack.

To start off from the beginning with the "Welcome to San Francisco" comment. It was made in jest and pragmaticism. As a resident in this city, I attest that there are a lot of parties that go on that communities outside of cosmopolitan areas would be uncomfortable with. I don't think there are a lot of members from the San Francisco Bay Area and I was saying that these sorts of communal, intimate gatherings are a commonplace out here. Am I embarrassed and uncomfortable about these occurances? No, because I don't have a reason to be and am comfortable in making light comments about their presence in this city.

And onto the "feeling that you may be interested in activities like this." I said this in regards to a continued observation of your behavior on this website. I would not consider what I have assessed as assumptions, but leaning toward an educated guess. I have noticed a pattern where you will expose parts of yourself that most others in a community that would consider intimate and out of their comfort zone. This is not a judgement - this is an observation on both parties.

The very early ones were when you shared photographs of your sex organ on a link when you thought you were in good, happy, communal company and the other times were with members who had shared their Instant Messenger names to make friends off the site. I note myself being part of that episode, and another member. I doubt we were the only ones. Another person had confided that they felt uncomfortable chatting with you again after you repeatedly asked questions and made comments that they felt were out of the scope of their comfort zone.

I recall writing a post to you stating that this site is probably not a recommended place that would welcome these displays, and suggested some other places that would have the space for it. I was not condoning you, more than expressing understanding and extending resources that would be receptive to it. I was not sure at the time if you were looking for positive receptions or testing for negative reactions. I presumed the former and gave you the links. Hence, the Nerve website, along with the classifieds on Craigslist.org.

The other time was when you shared a link with personality test results and a natal chart report. You were comfortable sharing an intimate snapshot of yourself with a community, something most others would not do. This again, is an observation that your comfort zone extends a lot wider than most. Not making any judgements here.

In retrospect, I am not surprised to see you express genuine interest in the Cuddle Party happening this upcoming Sunday. It fits into the pattern ~ a seemingly friendly community that encourages intimate connection. I already know you will be observant of their guidelines written in black, but I am also making an educated guess that you will be tempted to test the gray areas with the community and, rest assured that you will get a reaction. I don't know what kind, but you will get one if you try.

The last part of my post expresses, what I think is a good possibility of what the majority of participants would have as motive resulting in subliminal cause and effect.

I did not say this is you or meant it as a personal attack, AG. Your comments insinuate that I disapprove and said things to hurt you. I have no direct control of your emotions, and I absolutely will not accept your angry outburst or accept responsibility for an interpretation I clearly did not intend. You asked us what we thought about this Adult party and you became unhappy with my thoughts, which were also Adult in nature. I gave a genuine opinion with no malice intended, albeit in jestful language intended to make it easier to get across.

This is my clarification of the post and thoughts and you are certainly most welcome to express yours further, AG.

Good Luck with the party and know that I meant no malice or negative judgement when I made suggestions to check out other communities.

posted October 26, 2005 06:33 PM         

Yes, I am more open than most, BUT I am conservative by nature, which is the thing that you seem to miss in your assessment of me. I've got a 5th House Moon that likes to play, that's for sure, but I've also got a 1st House Saturn in opposition to a few planets that keeps a tight reign on me.

I can't even make the prediction you made about me possibly pushing the envelope at this party. If I had to guess I'd say that I won't, but if I'm getting heavily flirted with or something then I won't rule it out. In general, I don't speculate on events. I can't even say with any certainty that I'm definitely going to this party. I still haven't gotten any confirmation one way or the other.

There is more clarification I'd like to add, but I'd like to protect the privacy of those involved. I can tell you that it seems clear you don't remember the characters involved whom you thought I offended. The person that brought this up last time was merely a friend of a person I had an IM conversation with (who wasn't offended by my IM, and who was initially more open or playful than me). I never had an IM with the person who brought this up. I invite you to email me, so I can clear the air on the specifics of what happened. acousticgod@sbcglobal.net

posted October 31, 2005 01:28 AM         

Well, what an experience!!

I took a bath this morning in preparation. I left my house with the subtle scent of rasberry on my skin. I love the scent of rasberry.

It was held in a private residence in a nice neighborhood. Two or three bedroom house with only one living area. The living area was carpetted with blankets and comforters under which was regular carpet. Along the back wall was a sliding door to the back yard. There were sectional furniture pieces with low square pillow backs against the sliding door. One of those pieces was also in front of the fireplace, and another in a corner opposite the back wall. There were lots of pillows all over the place.

I think I might have actually been the last arrival, so most of the people were in, and somewhat situated. There was a coordinator checking off people's names as they came in, and she also took the 'donations.' I was met rather quickly at the door by Mike, the homeowner. He told me where I could change into my pjs (the master bedroom). After doing that I made a name tag for myself. The coordinator asked me to put a symbol on my nametag, which threw me for a loop. I was thinking that there must be loads of appropriate symbols for myself, but I couldn't think of any. Finally I thought of LL, and chose a heart. The reason for the symbol never became clear.

So then I turn to the entrance to the room. Almost everyone is in there already and the walls are lined with people. Much to my dismay, they all look creepy. Of course, this is partially due to my cursory scan of the room. My eyes were stopping on the scary ones -the ones you can read without knowing a thing about them.

Someone asks me how I found out about the party, and I tell them very confidently (through my unease) that I saw a show making fun of cuddle parties on Comedy Central and decided to look it up. A little later someone asks about anyone saw the cuddle party on CSI. No one had. Apparently, that show portrayed it as something leading to an orgy. I guess the Cuddle Party people weren't pleased.

posted October 31, 2005 02:57 AM         

The facilitator turns out to be a professor who was in town to speak at a local Catholic university about Gay and Lesbian issues in their schools. She also mentions being a professor, though I'm not sure if she said where. She has been aware of and with Cuddle Parties since the beginning, and she lives in New York.

She started by taking us through exercises like those mentioned in the FAQ. We practiced asking questions of another, and receiving the answer of, "No." We also had an exercise where we talked about our boundaries. Tough one for me, but I was able to imagine not letting certain people kiss me if they wanted to.

Then they commenced cuddling. Those who'd been before jumped right into it. Fortunately, one of the coolest looking women there asked me to join her in a train (yes, by this time I had noticed that there were probably 10 people there out of 25-30 that looked like they might be some shade of normal/adjusted). She was certainly over 50, but other than that I couldn't say. She had the most beautiful skin, and a Sigourney Weaver-like face. Her body was pear-shaped, but it was her demeanor that lured me in. She asked me to be the rear of this train sitting with my back against the wall. She then sat between my legs with her back against me, and sat another guy in front of her in a likewise position. Was a perfect way to start. Totally non-threatening to me it let me be involved without asking too much. As I gently massaged her we talked. Of course I had to know right off the bat what sign she was that I would be drawn to her. She was a Capricorn. Very cool!! She compared me to her son a couple times, and complimented my generation for how it really seems to reach out to people. Her and I connected really easily and naturally. We later moved the train to try to accomodate adding another person. This one didn't last long as everyone was getting uncomfortable in that position. My capricorn friend went out to her car to check on a kitten she adopted. I got up to use the restroom. Wasn't comfortable with the other people in our chain.

When I came back there was no obvious place to go, so I went to the center again. A 28 yr old girl who looked 23 was by herself. Her and I had teamed up for the exercise dealing with boundaries at the beginning, so I knew what she was looking for cuddle-wise. I offered and she accepted. She wanted to spoon. She missed that from when she was married. So we spooned. She was a Libra, and surprisingly I think she had bad breath. Something smelt a little off. No big deal. We spooned and talked and when it seemed to have run it's course we stopped. I got up and nibbled on the food available.

The food was in the dining area. It consisted of some non-descript cookies, two bowls of tortilla chips, red grapes, celery stalks and baby carrots, jack and swiss cheeses (no crackers), salsa, guacamole, and some all natural juices and soy milk.

When I rejoined the room once again there was no obvious choice of where to go or what to do, so I picked the obvious choice for myself, which was to find a spot out of the way (in the corner) and just lie there and see what happens. The guy I was most leery of showed up standing in the center for a moment. He had white hair and a beard, dressed in yellow pjs, and said in the introductions that though he was straight he wouldn't mind cuddling with some guys. He seemed soft and confused to me from the start, and I didn't want anything to do with him. So there he was standing in the center looking for someone to cuddle. He had tried to wave me over to his cuddle group once already to which I declined, so I closed my eyes knowing he wouldn't be able to engage me in anything if I did that. It worked.

Next came timid Taurus lady. She came up and sat down in front of me, and started talking with me. We talked mostly about spirituality. She was familiar enough with astrology to know that she was Virgo rising as well, so I had a bit of a forum to discuss how my astrological chart is unique. We also had in common that we've worked with the homeless, so that was pretty cool. I don't honestly remember what ended up prompting her to eventually get up and go. I think it was that the conversation was too forced on both of our parts.

Alone again, I learned that there was like a half an hour to go. I hoped that someone cool would come and want to cuddle before the party ended. Fortunately a few minutes later that person showed up before me. She was cold and lied right down facing me with her face in my chest. She was about 5'6", slim, but not skinny skinnyy. She was actually one of three well proportioned women in there. She was perfect to cuddle with. Just the right size. The whole party nothing came up in my pants, but with her there was a bit of a stirring. I, of course, told her about it as I was a touch embarrassed. No big deal to her. I had thought that she was asian, maybe Filipino or Korean, but as it turned out she was Mexican/American Indian. She looks VERY American Indian. She had the beautiful almost asian eyes, silky straight black hair, and her general facial structure was Indian. She said she liked that I looked masculine, but was also approachable. She said I looked like the most normal guy there. I enjoyed holding her. At one point we were almost face-to-face for a second. I felt the familiarity with the circumstance, and it felt natural to kiss, so I asked, and she said, "no." It wasn't meant to be, but it was cute. I was amused. She asked why, and I wasn't really sure, though now thinking about it, it's because it was almost teasing. I told her that I have trouble saying no a lot of the time, so it's neat that it's a practice there.

The party facilitator joined for a bit. I guess my latest cuddler and her know each other from New York. They talked for awhile, and I got a bit of the story of my latest cuddler.

Then the facilitator turned up the last song she wanted everyone to hear. (There was cool music playing throughout. The Garden State soundtrack, and some other mellow music.) Then she asked everyone to get up, which I didn't want to do at that point. We came into a circle, and they did their closing ceremony, which wasn't really exciting enough to write about.

After that there was a lot of standing around, and the usual kind of thing you'd expect. My last cuddler came up to me, and asked if I had drove. She had gotten a ride with another guy on the way in, and wanted to know if I'd give her a ride home. It was out of my way, but of course I did.

posted October 31, 2005 08:20 AM         

So how do you feel about the experience upon reflection? I enjoyed reading about your evening. I'm sure I have more questions, but I have to get ready for work.

posted October 31, 2005 01:44 PM         

My mate isn't very cuddly most of the time and I really do miss that part in my relationship.

Do you think you will ever go back again or this was just a one time thing to see what it was like and how it would feel?

posted October 31, 2005 02:34 PM         

I'd go. Maybe not by myself... but sure. I love experiences.

That's what I enjoy about my Cappie. He and I both appreciate the (don't get offended) odd.

Thing is, I can imagine my Cappie doing something like that. Not even really noticing how "different" it is... telling me... me laughing... him blushing... awwww

Edited - Not now... I'd get jealous.

What happened to the woman you drove home?

posted October 31, 2005 04:15 PM         

Well, it adds some adventure to my life for certain. Takes me to a foreign land when I can't physically go anywhere. Very satisfying for my Sagittarian tendencies.

posted October 31, 2005 04:15 PM         

You and your Cap can have your own private cuddle party. Trying to keep it from getting sexual between you two might be tough, though.

What happened to the woman indeed?

Well, it was a fairly long drive to her house, so we talked quite a bit. She told me a bit about her spiritual journey. We talked a bit about our sexual histories and discoveries. I think she's bisexual, and typically leans toward women. She found my personality unusual. She wondered how a masculine man could be interested in spiritual things. I admitted that I still felt some affection for her after that party, and she encouraged me to feel free to express it.

As we got near her house I asked if she'd like to go grab a bite to eat. We did. In the restaurant we talked more, and had our first kiss. Turns out she's 45, though she doesn't look a day over 35 if that. She's got dual doctorates. She's over-qualified for every position she goes for.

Irony of ironies? She's an Aries. Too interesting... I would presume that she's got a bit of air in her chart. She claims that she's always changing directions, moving from this thing to that (a sentiment I highly relate to). She's never been married or had a child.

After dinner we still weren't crazy about calling it a night, so we went and made out in a park.

posted October 31, 2005 04:36 PM         

Sounds like you had an interesting time

Always changing directions? I guess the air explains it... I do that also.

Isn't it a great feeling to be with someone... and enjoy their company so much, that you don't want break away?

Pssst... they had salsa and guacamole? Good times...

posted October 31, 2005 09:43 PM         

That's your goat stamina, if you know what I mean? Keep climbing those mountains!!!