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Author
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Topic: "Existential" Depression
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Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake Posts: 615
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted December 14, 2005 03:30 AM
 
I've been thinking a lot lately...about depression...and what it means. I often hear depression discussed in terms of chemical imbalances, attitudes, outlooks, upbringings....the list goes on and on. I'm not saying that depression *isn't* about any of those things. But rather that...there is a different kind of depression, a kind that no one seems to notice. I call it "existential depression." And what I mean by that is hard to describe, but I'd say it's a very profound sadness that comes with being a human being. (for some, not all). If you don't have rigid religious/spiritual beliefs, it is sometimes downright unsettling to be alive in this world. We are all going to die. Each and every one of us. All our family, and our friends. We don't know where we are going. We may think we know....but really, we don't. If you don't have all these soft and cuddly beliefs about God and where we are going and the nature of existence itself....there is not always much to comfort you. I think most people are so terrified of death that they concoct all these crazy ideas so they can be comforted -- amd will believe just about anything. But for those who cannot believe in all these different theories...there is a lot of fear and sadness -- wondering what it "all means." And if there is any point to all the suffering. Sometimes I really envy people who are so-very certain that they are divinely loved and supported, always protected. I would love to believe that. Or even people who believe in heaven, which, to me, is a laughable concept. People who are certain are usually quite happy. However, if you're a bit skeptical and more questioning...I don't know...there is sadness there. Just some jumbled up, late night thoughts.  love & light to all IP: Logged |
sesame
Moderator Posts: 1128
From: Oz
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted December 14, 2005 05:56 AM
Yes, I hear you completely. I think everyone feels that to a certain degree. I think it's a kind of compassion. An understanding that there is misery and sadness, and not always gladness  Life has its ups and downs. I think many people try to focus on the ups as they generate more ups. To think too much about the downs creates more downs, and yet, if it is chemical, then it can be incredibly difficult to force yourself to not think about it. What it comes down to is existance. If you had a choice, how would you exist? Would you want more control? Would anything be different, and if so, what steps may be made to make that difference? If there are no steps, then what is the point about being you? What are you here to learn? There are many ways of thinking about things, and I think all of them are OK, and lead to the next thought. Thinking is one of the blessings and curses of humans, but as we are learning, thoughts also create matter which allows you to determine where you are going. I think too many people live passively wondering where God will take them next. I've met atheists that were far more active than I am, and I consider myself very spiritual, but I put my life in Gods hands, and if bad stuff happens so be it, that's my life. If you don't believe in God and become very successful, then great for you, but what happens to your success after you've gone? Some people start thinking of the next generation, or living life to the fullest, but who's going to remember you in ten thousand years? It doesn't matter. All that matters is the present. How do you feel right now? Can you improve it, or are you content to just live? I often feel a kind of depression that is purely existential. I exist, therefore I feel sad, but I think that is as much a choice as feeling glad.Great thoughts btw. Heaps of Love,
Dean. IP: Logged |
thirteen
Knowflake Posts: 621
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted December 14, 2005 07:58 AM
I feel it too, more now at this time of year than ever. Sometimes I think Im ****** for even being here but then I think well I had to have wanted to be here ( on some level) anyway. I have no solution but it is good to vent it all out. IP: Logged |
future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 2104
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted December 14, 2005 08:28 AM
I've been thinking about this a lot lately.
(Who am I kidding... I always think about this a lot...)
Gooberz, your post could have been written by me. I do wonder how much of our "spirituality" is a human concoction designed to dispel the fear of death and the subsequent non-existence.
I, too, envy those who feel sure in their beliefs.
I find it difficult to believe in heaven. And I'm terrified of hell.
I get caught up in the "what if?"
Like, if I must believe in God as the one and only path to anything that isn't hell, then I must believe.
However, in my heart, I am uncertain, and if God does exist, then he would know my belief was false.
And then I will be "punished."
It takes me in circles.
I believe that either there must be something that transcends the Christian view of spirtuality, or... there is nothing.
But the Christian thing haunts me. I wasn't raised in a church, but I've been to church on and off throughout my life, trying to find the way.
It doesn't resonate with me. I think, "What about everyone else? Do they go to hell?"
And I think, "What about the things I consider to be spiritual? Astrology, numerology, karma, reincarnation?"
These things have been denounced by the Bible.
I have prayed to ??? (I feel strange when I pray) but I have prayed that if Christianity is right that my life wont' be taken until I find that answer, because the one thing I do know for sure is that I am looking.IP: Logged |
salome
Knowflake Posts: 248
From:
Registered: Nov 2005
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posted December 14, 2005 11:35 AM
hi everybody ~just a reminder ~ one of linda goodman's biggest
concepts was that of physical immortality....
that this was the truth
of jesus' teaching and the secret of easter...
and the fallacy of the notion of death. re: star signs and gooberz.... expect a miracle  love, salome IP: Logged |
nannyfish
Knowflake Posts: 217
From: England
Registered: Aug 2005
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posted December 14, 2005 11:50 AM
Background: Born and raised Catholic--did the whole catholic school and church thing. Believed in God and baby Jesus, etc.
Then, had my winter of discontent where several very close people died and lot's of other things happening in my life. It dawned on me that God is often the most cruel to the people who believe Him the most. So, basically, I thought: I'm screwed if I believe in God and and screwed if I don't. What's the point of believeing?Being the hard headed Scorp I am, immediately stopped thinking about God as my salvation and have spent the past 3 years questioning every aspect of my relegion and what it all means. Very depressing period of my life 
Actively debated with my inner voice. It's funny, but life started losing it's meaning for me. Slowly, however, as my life has progressed I can see how each difficult thing I have gone through has actually made me a much stronger and better person. Right now, loose ends of my life are tying up and things are coming together. It feels like I am at a synastrical moment in my life. Funny enough this has caused me to give God a consideration again. Too many coincidences, too many final chapters for it to be random. In the end, I am beginning to see that this God is not judgemental at all, completely understands human infallibility, and really just wants us to be happy. My inner Scorp is still resisting full belief, but my heart is beginning to understand there is this mad genius behind it all. Still working on it, feeling better about life, not depressed. All good IP: Logged |
salome
Knowflake Posts: 248
From:
Registered: Nov 2005
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posted December 14, 2005 02:53 PM
not relevant IP: Logged |
lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 3806
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted December 14, 2005 03:57 PM
Salome,
that is great information, thanksMOther and Father God are real
I talk to them
Sometimes
MOther puts her hands on my
head, and I rest my head in her lap
and Father goes on and on and on... Tears Tears Tears IP: Logged |
Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake Posts: 615
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted December 14, 2005 07:02 PM
Hi salome.I've read Gooberz and Star Signs -- I know Linda's teachings on immortality. I'm a huge fan of Linda Goodman (obviously ), however, I don't believe in everything she mentioned in her books. Definitely not physical immortality. But -- to each their own. IP: Logged |
Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake Posts: 615
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted December 14, 2005 07:09 PM
". . .because the one thing I do know for sure is that I am looking."Yes, future. Exactly. IP: Logged |
salome
Knowflake Posts: 248
From:
Registered: Nov 2005
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posted December 14, 2005 07:10 PM
Hi Gooberz ~isn't she the best?
she showed me truth... and prepared me for pain. so that i always love... again and again and again. and i won't ever stop.  IP: Logged |
Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake Posts: 615
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted December 14, 2005 07:14 PM
hiya salome Linda has certainly been a huge comfort in my life. Can't tell you how many times I've picked up Gooberz or Venus Trines at Midnight when I feel like I'm losing hope. I wish I could have met her. I was devestated when I heard she had passed away. She gave us all a lot, huh? IP: Logged |
salome
Knowflake Posts: 248
From:
Registered: Nov 2005
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posted December 14, 2005 07:16 PM
 IP: Logged |
Charisma4
Knowflake Posts: 15
From:
Registered: May 2005
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posted December 15, 2005 12:01 AM
I think about this often too. Sometimes to the point where my feelings of doubt completely overwhelm me. Not know what will happen urks me and worries me and scares me all at once. I understand the logic behind thinking that human beings make up the soft and cuddlyness of religion and spirituality to cushion the feeling of complete hopelessness that life sometimes brings about, but I also see so many wonderful things that happen each day to help balance the scales of life. I try to cling to the positive through my everyday life. And my faith deep inside me drives me on. Although my faith is questioned during my times of weakness and self doubt, I turn to meditation. Theres just this feeling within me that tells me that everything I believe has to be true. If it wasn't then why has my life gone the way it has? My favorite quote is by Jesus, "Blessed are those who believe without seeing." Love to everyone ------------------
Sigourney
Libra Sun~Cancer Rising~Leo Moon IP: Logged |
Kat
Knowflake Posts: 592
From: Cleveland, Ohio
Registered: Jan 2003
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posted December 19, 2005 06:08 PM
I think "existential depression" is our ultimate feeling of separation. No wonder why books and topics about finding our soulmate generally become bestsellers! We all want unconditional love and closeness.IP: Logged |
Anita41
Knowflake Posts: 51
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted December 20, 2005 07:39 AM
Hi Gooberz I agree with many of the things you said.
And I feel the same way.
The thing about religion I disagree a bit,
because, even if you have a strong faith
in God and Jesus or anyone else, and also believe in life after earthly death,
you can experience living in misery on this earth to many existential questions and experience deep depressions.
I have experienced to meet Jesus and it was the most amazing thing I ever felt.
It was a overwhelming feeling of love, warmth peace and familiarity,
but before it happened, and also after,
my life has been hell in many ways.
So, I believe very strongly in spiritual things and a eternal love,
but it hasn't done me any good in my life I feel.
In fact, the thing about existential depression perhaps even gets worse
by having this faith,
all because I realise that things are beyond my control very often.
Unlike someone who doesnt believe in this at all, and think they are 100% in control of their own life.
The existential depression,
is probably something inside YOU.
There are some people who are content with what they have, a family, job, friends, and never think these thoughts AT ALL.
So one can wonder, if one has the same material things in life and are still miserable, then why?!
It has to be something inside of YOU, you're born like that.
And no, there isnt much logic and point in lifes endless misery.
If you are a deep thinker who think about this over and over, you won't get happy or many answers.
Thats what sucks about life, that you cant decide your own birth, family, or death, diseases, other peoples death etc.
But the truth is also that you can change yourself and the impact you have on the outside world.
In life, when you create, and think and do positive actions, then it will come back to you and make YOU bloom and grow.
And thats what its all about. Love & peace IP: Logged |
Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake Posts: 615
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted December 21, 2005 02:55 AM
Anita,I also feel that there is much out of my control. But you don't need to be a "believer" to realize this. IP: Logged |
sesame
Moderator Posts: 1128
From: Oz
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted December 21, 2005 08:55 AM
I just had an epiphany! Existential Deppresion arise from a soular memory that we're suppoed to live in Eternal Bliss! What we feel as humans existing is nothing comared to this, and hence we feel depressed. If you kNow that we are one with the source, completely, then you wouldn't really exist as a human, but you also wouldn't feel this way. Maybe these feelings are a form of enlightenment or evolution...Wow, brings a whole new light on Depression. Don't Worry, Be Happy! Heaps of Love,
Dean. IP: Logged |
maklhouf
Knowflake Posts: 749
From:
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted December 21, 2005 11:09 AM
Remember that depression is not sadness. It is aggression turned in on the self. The way to deal with aggression, existential or otherwise, is to turn the aggression outwards again. With me depression is usually another word for laziness. Rather tha take the actions I need to take, itm is easier to wallow in depression------------------
And I will give thee the treasures of darkness
Isiah 45:3 IP: Logged |
Hexxie
Knowflake Posts: 291
From: California
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted December 21, 2005 03:50 PM
I feel like brain-storming some thoughts too..."Your thoughts are things, so be care-ful what things you put into your head!" ~Anon Depression is extreemly tough. It is so, well, human. It is a major imbalance of one's thoughts. People don't always realise that when you think something, you have a choice. You can choose to think a positive thought or a negative thought. Through our human experience here we think what we have been conditioned to think! So back to my point, what we think produces chemicals in our bodies that either help us (positive thoughts) or harm us (negative thoughts). Too many repetative negative thoughts will eventually cause symptoms of sickness, depression, even terminal illness!! I think it's just a part of our human experience to feel this way some times. I believe that what you think about, is where your focus turns, and this is what your reality becomes. It's ok to not be up and happy and high energy all the time! If we were like that, we would no longer need to be 'in the flesh' and would move on to whatever's next. In regard to religion & spiritual beliefs: That subject in itself is confusing which can be depressing! I've come to realise that I do not need to name my spiritual beliefs. There are many paths, and sometimes your path and other's paths flow together for a time. Other times you may feel like you ar entirely alone! It does not matter what path you are on, be it a certain religion, or just your own nameless belief system because we're all going to the same place and will get there eventually!! It also dosen't matter what you call 'God' (the Universe, Goddess, Buddha, so on and so forth). Albert Einstein said it well: "My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind." I have also read all of Linda Goodman's books. She really has helped me through some painful knowing / growing pains. Helped my heart and 3rd eye pry open just a little bit more Wow this string/thread has make my mind run all over the place, in a good way! Please don't mind (so it won't matter) my disjointed thoughts that just wanted to come out of my head in any which way they could! Thank you! "Love is all you need"...
------------------
~Libra Sun / 29* Gemini Rising / Aquarius Moon~ IP: Logged |
thirteen
Knowflake Posts: 621
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted December 21, 2005 04:13 PM
Hexxie, what you say makes a lot of sense. I have also been thinking about this post for several days now. Oh by the way sesame, wow i like it!!
Anger turned in on the self..... YES YES YES I FINALLY SEE THIS AND YES I HAVE ANGER IN ME THAT I DON'T FEEL I CAN VENT TO THOSE WHO ARE CAUSING IT. ONCE I REALIZED THIS I FELT BETTER.
Im going to have a chance maybe tomorrow to express my anger. Im scared. The people whom i need to express this are close and will probably turn on me. But i do feel that once i do this things will change for me in my mind. ( turn the aggression back outward ). Anyway i wanted to say that this has helped me. I am hoping it helps some others too. IP: Logged |
sesame
Moderator Posts: 1128
From: Oz
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted December 21, 2005 08:08 PM
Yes, venting is very powerful, but sometimes the people you vent to may not hear. I think that this is OK - you are venting for yourself, not so much for them. You will grow and surpass these problems, whereas if they do not acknowledge what you've said, then they may continue having these issues with others.Dean. IP: Logged |
Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake Posts: 615
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted December 22, 2005 03:02 AM
maklhouf~Yes, yes, I've heard this: "depression is anger turned inward." (etc. etc. . .) That is not the sort of "depression" I am referring to. But yes, the word itself implies that you are DEPRESSING something. However, maybe it is *more* than simple anger/aggression. Maybe there is more that is being depressed. . . In any event, I suppose depression is not even the correct word for what I am trying to describe. "Existential Sadness"  I don't know. Anyhow....Thanks everyone for your thoughtful replies -- I've read and enjoyed each one. Hope this thread has not been too much of a downer. Something about this time of year always seems to get to me. Even though today is my b-day (yeah, had to sneak that in   ) Hope everyone's enjoying the solstice... GLLF IP: Logged |
Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake Posts: 615
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted December 22, 2005 03:14 AM
sesame~Interesting....I'm going to digest that for a while. Cool  (your post about soular memory) IP: Logged |
sesame
Moderator Posts: 1128
From: Oz
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted December 22, 2005 07:34 AM
Hey Wow! Happy Soular Return!   Dean. IP: Logged | |
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