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Author Topic:   Lack of Awareness or in Denial?
RainingHeart
Knowflake

Posts: 3
From: where the wind blows-KY
Registered: Feb 2006

posted February 07, 2006 12:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RainingHeart     Edit/Delete Message
Should I stay or should I go? Give up or persevere? I have felt for many years the man in my life, in my heart and soul, is my twin flame without doubt...until now, after almost 20 years off and on (not married). He is unaware of so much..or..in denial. Perhaps I am, too. Wanting so much to believe..and did..maybe still do. I'm so confused.
Is it possibe and probable that one partner in an involved relationship does not recognize or is not aware his lover is his Twin Flame? Maybe in denial out of fear of commitment or "control" as he put it (not marriage necessarily )?
My heart is troubled with this. I hate to think after believing so long this man is my soul mate or (and?) twin flame that he is not. I've tried to convince myself that he is NOT in my heart and is NOT nestled in my soul.
Should his words matter and believe them to be true when saying he doesn't love me the way I love him? Of course not, I mean..what 2 people love the same way? His words, although not hatefully said, burned through me. My heart felt like it was bleeding through my eyes.
Last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of him.
Is there any way I can be sure my instincts, gut feelings, my higher self...my..anything, has been correct and it is this man who isn't aware?
I want so much to believe with all that I am that love, when one truly believes, creates miracles. But now, I am tired and I don't think there is a miracle for this love.
Emptiness is believing there is not a miracle..No matter how many candles I light or prayers I say.

Any and all help is appreciated.

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The heart is a very special and private place

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LibraSparkle
Moderator

Posts: 5762
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted February 07, 2006 01:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraSparkle     Edit/Delete Message
Hi RainingHeart,

Welcome to the board!

I see a theme running through your post. The theme seems to be that you really want to believe the two of you are meant to be together. I have learned, from life experience (please don't take offense), that if you must try to convince yourself this person is The One for you, then the person is not The One. If there is any question, then the answer is no.

I don't necessarily think it is you that is questioning whether or not he is the one, but the other way around (although, honestly I am wondering if you are putting the idea of being in love way up high on a pedestal). It sounds to me like it is him who has been questioning. Questioning and uncertainty does not come along with real, true love.

Having fights and periods of disagreement is an entirely different thing. These things do, and will, come along with true love.

I have been more furious with my husband than anyone else on this Earth at certain points in our relationship (and vice versa, I'm sure ), but I have never questioned whether or not he is The One for me.

I don't mean to be hard on you, and I hope you don't take my candid nature the wrong way.

That being said, do you think it is possible that you are clinging to the beautiful idea of loving and being loved so tightly that you haven't stepped back to see who it is that you are trying so desperately to love?

My heart goes out to you. I know matters of the heart can be so painful and draining.

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RainingHeart
Knowflake

Posts: 3
From: where the wind blows-KY
Registered: Feb 2006

posted February 07, 2006 01:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RainingHeart     Edit/Delete Message
I take no offense. I understand what you are trying to say..or said, really . I've tried to convice myself he is NOT the One, so to speak, because...I didn't want a One. I was married for only 10 years (that gave me 2 beautiful daughters) before this relationship began. The last thing I wanted was to be involved or "in love". I felt or believed that when 2 people marry, it's for life. Obviously not.
When this other man (Scorpio, of all things) came into my life, I was NOT intrigued. I was NOT impressed. In fact, I pretty much laughed at how much love he must feel for himself.
Then, the first time I actually took the time to speak with him. A true conversation about..anything..everything.. I noticed and felt a smile come across my face while I spoke with him over the phone. I really tried to cancel the feeling of intrigue looming over me....and for the many years to come after that year 1987.
I guess...I believe ..maybe I (there are a lot of "I"s in here, huh?) will feel better..maybe..if we were "right" after all (yeah, I'm Aquarius).
Another note to this: He has never suffered any loss. Not that this is an important factor, but it's seasoning. I (another "I"), on the other hand, have had so much more "seasoning" in my life in comparison to his.
Something always brings us back together...no matter what.
But now, words seem to hurt more. Even if they are the same words I've heard over the years.
Thank you for your wisdom..and strength

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The heart is a very special and private place

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RainingHeart
Knowflake

Posts: 3
From: where the wind blows-KY
Registered: Feb 2006

posted February 07, 2006 01:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RainingHeart     Edit/Delete Message
I apologize to you, LibraSparkle. I reread your post and realized I didn't answer the question you posed at the end. A very important one, I might add.
Yes, I have stepped back from this person and named every negative aspect I could possible think of as well as every positive aspect.
After all of the stepping back and evaluating his "self", I realized how much I WANTED to run away..maybe needed to run away, but couldn't. With all of short comings (and mine), I have stayed.
..why?

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The heart is a very special and private place

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