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Author Topic:   Remaining In Unconditional Love
hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 241
From: san antonio, texas
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 07, 2006 02:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Do any of you wise souls out there have any methods for getting back to a state of unconditional love very quickly when that annoying EGO creeps back in? I usually have to spend time in meditation, contemplation, prayer, nature, spiritual reading to re-connect with source when EGO starts to lurk above and around me and sometimes being human I just do not have the time and or energy to dedicate to alot of the above mentioned techniques.
All replies welcome and appreciated! Thanks in advance!

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fayte.m
Knowflake

Posts: 3405
From: ~out looking for Schrodinger's cat~
Registered: Mar 2005

posted March 07, 2006 02:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
Well....
Just remember the big difference between unconditional love and allowing yourself to become a doormat for another.
Retain a sense of self and self respect...so you will be able to recognize the difference betwixt unconditional love and co-dependency.
In the bigger picture on a global scale...you can love the person/people even admire them...but while loving them..you do not have to approve of their actions or like them. Or let them take advantage of your love.
I hope that made sense to you.

_______________________________________________________________________
~I am still learning~ Michangelo
The Door to Gnosis is never permanently locked...one only needs the correct keys and passwords.
The pious man with closed eyes can often hold more ego than a proud man with open eyes.
Out of the mouth of babes commeth wisdom that can rival that of sages.
In the rough, or cut and polished..a diamond is still a precious gem.
-NEXUS-

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 241
From: san antonio, texas
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 07, 2006 03:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Fayte

Yes that makes sense and a doormat I am not. I just feel much more at peace and connected to spirit when I allow others to live fully as they will and not let the ego get involved with such feelings of fear and insecurity and feeling like someone is "doing me wrong" by being themsleves.

It is uncomfortable for me to be in a position to where I am recognizing another's behavior as "wrong" because I know they are on their own path. I do realize that I must make the decision, though as to wheather or not let that person effect me and to what degree and that is where ego comes in.

I would just prefer to love them uncondidionally and I am not talking in any sense about romantic love, just the love the source, spirit, God, has for us all. I feel at peace when I can love my brother or sister on this earth without ego issues and appreciate them for what they are, just themselves, like that of a sunset, a beautiful flower, etc.

It just gets hard sometimes and this is where I believe the human experience is experienced fully.

I dunno, I am just learning too. All I know is what feels good is following my heart and this is the way I have lived ever since I was a very little girl. And what feels good, right and true is loving all of creation for just what it is.

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fayte.m
Knowflake

Posts: 3405
From: ~out looking for Schrodinger's cat~
Registered: Mar 2005

posted March 07, 2006 04:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
hippichick
Quote:
It is uncomfortable for me to be in a position to where I am recognizing another's behavior as "wrong" because I know they are on their own path. I do realize that I must make the decision, though as to wheather or not let that person effect me and to what degree and that is where ego comes in.
_____________________________________________
That bit of ego is not selfishness or lack of love and COMPASSION & UNDERSTANDING for another. You need that sense of self, EGO/ID to survive.
Yes..people are where they are on their diverse paths....but when they have no respect for you or others, or even themselves, and their decisions severely impact your living of and enjoying your life, and being yourself...that is not a thing one should feel badly about not loving. Again love the offender...but do not accept that it is right for them to infringe upon the lives and liberties of others. Including yourself.
It is hard to be always a loving person when one is confronted with the misdeeds of others..on their path or not...
when it adversly affects us and our lives in so many ways.
For example...when my car window was smashed in...
oh yes...I understood from a psychological point of view, why this person did it...and could even have compasion for the way they must be, to be so driven to do it...
BUT...
Tha did not mean that I did not press charges against them! Of course I did!
But I still could see that it was their upbringing and peer pressure that brought them to do this act against my property.
Should I love them?
What is love? In this case..
What is love?
Compassion..understanding..yes...
but not just turning the other cheek.
Hope I am making sense.
But yes..it is painful to be torn by the desire to care for all beings...while having to live amongst them doing the human experience.
All we can do, is do our best, to not allow our living of our lives adversly affect another. To respect another's space and lifestyle etcetera...
Unless it comes to roost on our own doorstep intending on violating our space.

_______________________________________________________________________
~I am still learning~ Michangelo
The Door to Gnosis is never permanently locked...one only needs the correct keys and passwords.
The pious man with closed eyes can often hold more ego than a proud man with open eyes.
Out of the mouth of babes commeth wisdom that can rival that of sages.
In the rough, or cut and polished..a diamond is still a precious gem.
-NEXUS-

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 241
From: san antonio, texas
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 07, 2006 04:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Ok, Fayte, I will just chalk it up to my Piscean relativity, needing peace and missing "home."

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fayte.m
Knowflake

Posts: 3405
From: ~out looking for Schrodinger's cat~
Registered: Mar 2005

posted March 07, 2006 04:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message

There are others who understand this feeling..
I do.
Lia does.
There are many others.
You are not alone hippichick

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 241
From: san antonio, texas
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 07, 2006 04:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
I know I am not alone, that is why I came here with this question! HAHA

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fayte.m
Knowflake

Posts: 3405
From: ~out looking for Schrodinger's cat~
Registered: Mar 2005

posted March 07, 2006 07:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message






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paras
Knowflake

Posts: 1447
From: the Heart of It All
Registered: May 2004

posted March 08, 2006 12:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for paras     Edit/Delete Message
hippichick:

when i lose my state of unconditional love, it takes me time to return to it, too. but i think, with practice, we will eventually be able to return to it quicker and quicker. and maybe even someday just never lose it in the first place.

------------------
Can you imagine a world in which each person understood that his only responsibility was to give and receive love?

Chat: #ten-forward
E-Mail: paras_nimh@myway.com

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fayte.m
Knowflake

Posts: 3405
From: ~out looking for Schrodinger's cat~
Registered: Mar 2005

posted March 08, 2006 10:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
{{{ }}}

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 241
From: san antonio, texas
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 08, 2006 09:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Paras

Thank you

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 4688
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004

posted March 09, 2006 04:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Paras

Wise words indeed......

x

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Kat
Knowflake

Posts: 666
From: Cleveland, Ohio
Registered: Jan 2003

posted March 09, 2006 05:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kat     Edit/Delete Message
I've been told that I should envision the person that is upsetting me as an infant craddled in my arms.

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 241
From: san antonio, texas
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 09, 2006 09:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Kat,
Thank you.
I read somewhere that one individual visualized washing the feet of the other person/people.
I like yours, think I will give it a try tonight!

Peace, Love and Light

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LeoSweetHeart
Knowflake

Posts: 506
From: California, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted March 10, 2006 05:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeoSweetHeart     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Hippiechick,
I try to envoke compassionate feelings for the person upsetting me by understanding they are struggling themselves if they want to inflict pain on someone else. Someone who is at peace with themselves and with other beings doesn't want to harm their environment. So I remember that for some reason this person is frustrated, depressed, unloved, etc and I start feeling love for them right away. It also helps if you have many interactions with the person because your bound to see some sort of beautiful qualities in them and then you can't see them so black and white, wrong or right. Also you can find things to admire in them, so you get a more well rounded picture of them and your love isn't solely based on feeling bad for their situation in life. Does that help at all?

I also try to feel unconditional love for all beings as well because it does bring me peace and happiness. It hurts me to think there are people who hate, so I'd rather believe they just have a lack of love in their lives.

Fayte,

Your so right about knowing when to draw the line. I think I used to be more of a doormat when I was younger and now I'm not so naive with people. If someone really over steps my boundaries I let them know, but I also don't give much of my energy. I think the way I handle these people is to avoid them and love them unconditionally from afar so their negetive energy does not effect me.

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LeoSweetHeart
Knowflake

Posts: 506
From: California, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted March 10, 2006 06:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeoSweetHeart     Edit/Delete Message
I have a few more thoughts to add... I also look for specific reasons why I shouldn't take certain offensive things personally. It could be that you see the person acting rude or wronging others as well, as is often the case. In this case, the person is probably attracting a lot of negetivity and manifesting a miserable reality that they are trapped in. A big reason to feel compassion for them.

Or maybe this person feels jealousy for you because you have something they don't and they're insecure. This is obviously wrong on their part, but you can feel compassion for how insecure they are. I can tell when someone feels jealousy for me when they comment in a negetive way about "how dressed up I am" or "how much time I take to polish myself" or that "my mom spoils me" or "I must not eat anything, being so thin", you get the point. My last roommate made comments along these lines and had something against me from the moment she moved in. You can imagine how fun that was! That one took a lot of meditation! Everyone told me to be a ***** to her and hate her. Instead I stayed away from her to protect myself, sticking up for myself when it was necessary and sometimes I complimented her knowing how insecure she was. Like you, I didn't want to hate her because hate causes a division between people and makes the feeling of Oneness impossible. But boy was it tempting, haha.

Mainly I feel MANY people are so unaware of themselves and their actions that you can just attribute their wrong doings to the fact that they're sleeping through life and spreading their toxins around unknowingly.

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 241
From: san antonio, texas
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 11, 2006 03:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
LEO
Thank you for your kind words and very wise!

FAYTE
I see more clearly now what you speak regarding boundaries. I had a session with our employee chaplian (I am a RN and the hospital that I work at has a chaplain devoted to the employees) who is a very wise spiritual woman and she pointed out that a particular man who has been giving me alot of grief for the past year may very well be in my life so that I can develope better boundaries. So, the next time this individual contacts me, I intend to create a rather large boundary all the while loving him unconditionally and letting him go to be who he is and do what he will do on his own path.

Thank you all for your kind, loving messages!!

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