posted April 17, 2006 08:09 AM         

Any thought on how to protect yourself of someone sucking your energy? A friend and I have noticed that being close to someone both know makes us feel miserable and helpless, depressed… while he appears to revive… As if he was draining us…

Not that we specially talk about any depressing topics. But last time I got back home sinking, very anxious and with such a heavy weigh on my chest that breathing was difficult. I was so tired, so sad, as if I was being strangled…

Any kind of talisman or charm I can wear when I go near him?

Thanks!!!

posted April 17, 2006 09:09 AM         

1. You could say into a mirror "Mirror, from now on, you will receive all of the energy this person is aiming towards me. Everything will be reflected!"

2. Say out loud "Divine Spirit of my higher self, please protect me from all dark energy sources. I ordain this now and in grace, thank you."

3. Act cheerfully and clearly around him. He might be consciously taking your energy from the environment he creates. By being clear, you are preventing this. By being positive, you may even reduce his desire to take your energy as he may become higher.

If all else fails, don't hang around him. The world is hard enough to put up with without people who intentionally steal more energy.

Just some things to try.

posted April 17, 2006 11:19 AM         

Shall I do 2 when in front of him or at any time? Avoiding him completely is not that simple, he’s been a friend of mine for 20 years. He treats me nicely, it’s just the fact that I feel completely drained, especially when he physically touches me. Last time conversation was light and he still drained us…

For some reason I must have sensed this a few years ago because I distanced myself from him quite successfully. At some point our relationship became strangling, a heavy burden… I suppose it was his mere presence stealing my energy… So I kept him at a safe distance. My friend wasn’t so lucky (or so clever… ).

You just can’t say “Stay away” to someone you have been friends with for so long without an apparent reason. Especially, as it is the case of my friend, when he has been her agony aunt for years… Curiously, she always said talking to him was of no use or good for her… But I suppose, while I was abroad, he was better than nobody…

posted April 17, 2006 11:48 AM         

20 years mean that he's been most of my life around... Trying to help I suppose even when he doesn't quite manage... because he only ends up helping himself...

I don't think he does it intentionally... Is it egoism? Self-importance? Why is he so out-of-tune and steals instead of sharing?

Does he deserve to be chastised by the whole world? Wouldn't it be better to keep him at a safe distance and allow him our company but avoiding his drainage???

posted April 17, 2006 05:23 PM         

but, if you are not, i really like the mirror exercise - mentally placing a mirror from you towards the person who is the "emotional vampire" so they can feel/see their own reflection - it's blocking in that it won't pass the mirror onto you.

posted April 18, 2006 12:50 AM         

I have known people like this. In my experience, it's not just a person's aura that needs to be considered, it's often the person's mental attitude. I think these people create this with their negative, "downer" demeaners and their low thoughts.

I think that if you can't have an honest talk about how the negativity is sometimes difficult to be around, then I think you need to deepen your level of friendship with this person. There's a way to make someone aware of this without being hurtful or critical. You might really help him change his negative thought forms in the process.

Bottom line - you are what you think. If he's negative, and you're working to keep things light and positive, of course there's nothing else left to do but be drained. You're pouring your lifeforce into a bottomless pit that you can never fill on your own.

Crystals and stones may help, but I think they can only do so much. I think you should be honest with your friend.

Just my two cents!

posted April 18, 2006 02:52 AM         

My best advice... and I cannot say much here other than stay away from this person... He/she can be taking your energy... and he/she knows that...

Wear crystals quartz, amathyst. when you are around this friend! You have to understand that you must go with your gut feeling... trust me on this... if you are being drained it is not good and it will get very-very-very worse.

Also, is there water around you, such as a river... if so, carry the crystals with you in your pocket, etc... than, throw the crystals into the river after seeing your friend. Not water in your home.

Stay away from negative energy-- always, especially if you do not know how to help them-- if there intentions is not to harm you--- again what does your gut tell you? That is all I can say here...

posted April 18, 2006 03:46 AM         

I’ll talk to this friend of mine who is also affected by his drainage… She sees him more often… He is an expansive Leo, very outgoing, a social freak and an extrovert… He is not especially negative about himself… But he does tend to discourage others and negativize other people’s situation, or diminish its importance. He has trouble empathising as if he couldn’t see much further from his own nose. Maybe he needs to be told to stop putting others down and dramatising about his situation to start trying to feel and understand the pain of others, to stop being selfish.

But how do you make someone supportive if he’s not? Maybe that’s why he is draining. Because he dismisses your needs while demands your attention constantly. Could it be a solution to stop giving importance to his never-ending demands, just half ignoring what he says?

I always had the impression that he wanted to control me. To have me. He likes me. And he senses I slip between his hands. With my friend is different. I think he doesn’t consider her as good enough. But she is always there when he needs her.

posted April 19, 2006 06:03 AM         

I got a pair of black tourmaline pendants and gave one to my friend, we’ll see if they do any good when we go near him… (Thanks, Funky, for your suggestion… )

quote:

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Black tourmaline - Deflects and repels negative energy, especially psychic attack. Protects against microwaves, radiation, "spells," and ill-wishing. Grounds spiritual energy, increases physical vitality. Defends against debilitating disease, strengthens immune system. Treats dyslexia and arthritis. Earth chakra.

---

posted April 24, 2006 08:48 AM         

My friend told me she used the black tourmaline I got for her. I asked her to imagine she was inside an impenetrable egg of light when he was around him...

And she said it worked... She wasn't depressed when she got back home...

I'll see how it goes for me...

posted May 13, 2006 11:09 PM         

"He is not especially negative about himself… But he does tend to discourage others and negativize other people’s situation, or diminish its importance. He has trouble empathising as if he couldn’t see much further from his own nose. Maybe he needs to be told to stop putting others down and dramatising about his situation to start trying to feel and understand the pain of others, to stop being selfish.

But how do you make someone supportive if he’s not? Maybe that’s why he is draining. Because he dismisses your needs while demands your attention constantly. Could it be a solution to stop giving importance to his never-ending demands, just half ignoring what he says?"

A Leo woman whom I sit near at work is like this - I see it quite a bit in a few other Leo natives I know. It's almost as if unless the subject pertains to them, they couldn't care less about it, not interested. My sister, a Leo, is like this. Not to say all Leo natives are, but the few I know are. An Aquarius ex-boyfriend was married to a Leo and he said exactly the same thing about her...

posted May 28, 2006 04:51 PM         

I used to be an emotional vampire magnet! (and i bet i was a bit of an EV too because it was part of how i understood we related to one another) The environment I grew up in had too many alcoholics (I'm being facetious, one is too many, I know, I know, but we have to have a sense of humor about these things!) which creates an energy imbalance anyway, but it also seems to me that almost all of us were 'emotional vampires' to one another! (Does that make any sense to anybody?)
Anyway, once I started going out into the world, I seemed to attract these types like flies to honey! So, in my experience:
1. there are several degrees of this energy sapping behavior
2. there are different reasons why EVs are like this
3. some EVs choose their targets (consciously or subconsciously) and are very good at hiding their skills from those they know will challenge them

This especially got my attention:

quote:

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I always had the impression that he wanted to control me... but I feel oppressed by him.

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I realized that trusting my intuition versus others' ideas and opinions on who I was, what I should do, etc. really galvanized me. I had to drop some folks from my life, and it was terrifying at first, but like any positive change, after time it felt healthier and healthier.

A while ago I would have suggested you simply cut this guy out of your life, but it does not sound like you are ready to take that step, and you may not have to.

quote:

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He is not especially negative about himself� But he does tend to discourage others and negativize other people�s situation, or diminish its importance. He has trouble empathising...

---

quote:

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But how do you make someone supportive if he�s not? Maybe that�s why he is draining. Because he dismisses your needs while demands your attention constantly.

---

quote:

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Could it be a solution to stop giving importance to his never-ending demands, just half ignoring what he says?

---

For now do the things you feel comfortable with, and personally, amethyst, topaz, and labradorite have been extremely helpful.

Good luck!

~ Zelda

posted June 26, 2006 11:08 AM         

I agree, I tend to get that impression with fire signs… I must say that one of my two closest friends is a Leo male, which is the most supportive guy I’ve ever known…

Welcome, Zelda Sorry to hear you’ve grown up in such an environment… I guess you are surrounded by EV not because you are one but because you are energetically vulnerable. You sound very brave, a real fighter…

This friend I was on about, my particular EV, is a true drama-king. I haven’t cut him off in consideration of all the years he’s been around, but I keep him at a distance. At a certain point in my life I ignored him deliberately because I needed to breathe so he stuck like glue to my best friend. She has taken years to realise she is being used… He needs his public, his particular agony-aunt… but he doesn’t give that attention back when required…