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Author Topic:   Lack of introspection
BlueRoamer
Knowflake

Posts: 2481
From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean
Registered: Jun 2003

posted April 18, 2007 02:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueRoamer     Edit/Delete Message
I often find myself having to deal with those who lack introspection. Often these people are more active, yang types, and they usually have problems with anger or rage. Unfortunately they don't seem to notice that their anger and rage is wrong, and destroys their relationships. How do you deal with these people who can't control their tempers, or people that are very insulting, but can't look at themselves and see what they are doing. You know the type, its alwasy everyone elses fault.

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InLoveWithLife
Knowflake

Posts: 1166
From: Wonderland
Registered: Aug 2006

posted April 18, 2007 06:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for InLoveWithLife     Edit/Delete Message
they frustrate me. i stay away from them if there is an option.
i can't understand how one can go through life without thinking about it, or themselves, where they are going, why they were put here.
but i have also been surprised. seen people change for the better. it always takes a big jolt to make them sit up and take notice.till then, one can't really do anything about it. except to forgive them, and just not let their anger get to you. sometimes i have found, that if u scratch beneath the surface, make them talk about themselves, they turn out to be really child-like. they love to talk about themselves. that helps to better the rapport, if not anything else.

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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 1402
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted April 21, 2007 01:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
It's highly unlikely you will reach them, BR.
Or that they would stop to reflect on the consideration of reaching you.

How to deal?
I try to remain open, but also remain detatched enough not to offer myself up to get tangled into the webs they weave.
Not becoming distracted from yourself by their forceful, over-bearing energy, might be the best hope in having an impact in some way on them. (energy to energy)

Remember, you deserve a Flow (back and forth). Unconditional Love doesn't mean that you squander your heart aimlessly where it would be received profanely. A heart should be held and given delicately as something Sacred, receiving reTurn to flourish its hope.
It doesn't give with expectation or attatchment to outcome, but evenso, it remains aware and protective. This is how it continues.

It took me a lifetime of attracting the same kind of people, to realize the importance of that.
I am always sensing for a Flow~~
without it, I keep flowing onwards to where I find it.

(sometimes scary, like entering the Void...but you always naturally find it. It's magical that way.)

I don't stop giving/loving/hoping along the way, but I don't remain still either.
Not long enough to become trapped in chaotic frequencies that would distract me from where I was heading.

Hope this isn't too unrelated
not to help in some way.

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BlueRoamer
Knowflake

Posts: 2481
From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean
Registered: Jun 2003

posted April 21, 2007 04:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueRoamer     Edit/Delete Message
Very helpful Lia.

WE have to continue where we were going, and not get wrapped up, its so easy to get lost in anger and resentment.

I read a statment about "idiots compassion" and it really woke me up. You have to let someone know when you're holding on to resentments, even if they respond negatively. Being fake nice, and smiling, and talking to someone you feel resentment for is not being compassionate towards them or yourself, and it also condones their behavior.

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ListensToTrees
Knowflake

Posts: 434
From: the capricious clouds
Registered: Jul 2005

posted April 21, 2007 05:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ListensToTrees     Edit/Delete Message
I agree BlueRoamer. I believe in honesty as well as tact.

What do you do when you have a friend who is loving, creative, warm & generous but also has a polar opposite which is arrogant, judgemental, insulting and aggressive? Its difficult not to let these people DRAIN you, when you are a sensitive person such as I am. I think it best not to associate with the people who have this effect on us, when the good outweighs the bad, when they make us feel sad more often than glad.

It doesn't mean we can't love and accept them in a way that your higher self realizes we're all connected- it just means choosing who you allow into your life WISELY.

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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 1402
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted April 30, 2007 04:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
BlueRoamer,
I hope you don't mind me pasting your post from the Scorp,Sag,Cap Depression thread here to reply to. I wanted to reply to both in one. (the 3 am insomniatic approach?)

quote:
I think the height of the pluto pain occured when saturn opposed pluto back in 2001, that was a really rough year for me, and other sagittarians I knew. I think its hard for me to know what is pluto right now and what is not, consdiering i am at 29 deg, and pluto is sitting at 28. But your idea of fate, and not going back holds true for me. I've become dedicated, obsessed with a goal, a path, a calling, and I know now there is no turning back, I feel a sense of purpose here, rather than the the aimless wandering I may have felt a couple years ago. In a way I feel more like a capricorn or scorpio than a sagittarius. Pluto (i think) has also put me in contact with some very domineering personalities, where I am absolutely forced to stand up to them, and when I do the flow of karma is incredible. I realize by backing down and not standing up to people I am not fulfilling karma, and remain in an emotionally stifled state. SO called "idiot's compassion," of being fake nice to someone you feel hostility for is no way to live one's life. SO I guess in many ways pluto is forcing me to grow a backbone, but it has also deepened my pratice of mindfuless and awareness, bringing it into the real world and not just in the meditation room. (still working on this)

I was reading an article by Wayne Dyer today and he was talking about how people stress themselves over what their life's purpose is. But yet, if they were only to forget that question and just be True in each moment how clear the purpose would become. That's Pluto. Truth. Which is why it's such a painful process, because you don't look away or deny. You look long and hard and honestly at everything, especially yourself and what you find is not always pretty or pleasant. Hence the pain. It's a huge awakening...there's no way you could come out of it blind.

I was struck by your words, "when I do the flow of karma is incredible".

Flash back a couple of years ago now, I had the most amazing moment. I was confronted in such a way and it felt like a moment of reckoning. Like all of my soul journey had lead up to that moment and this was it.
It felt so ominous, I even had a feeling of pause, as if God was looking down on me, waiting for me to speak. I knew if I failed, that meant the death of my spirit ~~ hurled backwards through time~~everything I had learned, mute, meaningless. I had to bring it outward.
The choice, as it always is, only we don't feel it so profoundly--- be True or not. I stood my ground and was entirely True...and each moment thereafter I kept moving forward, knowing whatever came from it, was what should be. There was such clarity of spiritual perception. Like you said, the flow of karma was incredible.

Was "idiot's compassion" from a book? I'm very interested in reading that. Do you have a link?
I was comforting hearing you say that playing nice, fake and talking to them is condoning. This is something I've always felt, but so often people misconstrue it as being non-forgiving. They're different entities altogether. I've even had people try to convince me that I was being too heavy, intense, too serious, or 'negative' for it. These are all attempts at conditioning. You know...."be how we are or be pleasant, because it makes us feel comfortable". Sometimes you just have to speak your truth and withdraw for Grace. Because to continue immersing energy into the situation only serves to empower it with focus. It's a huge, myriad Universe and there's plenty of other interesting things to be focusing on, right?
I've been a compassionate idiot too often in this life. Caring and empathy can be a hindrence at times.

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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 1402
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted April 30, 2007 04:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
I can imagine how you would treat someone who was suffering with complete openness, non judgement, and compassion, I bet you're a great friend. And yes pluto does seem very internal, it slowly changes the way you think, makes you aware of negativity especially. I am so much more aware now of how much hate/anger/hostility I feel on a daily basis.

Thank you, that's very nice to hear. I don't know. I try to be. It's important to me. I don't have as much time as I wish I did and sometimes I feel it's causing me to lose people who are dear to me.

Yes, you begin noticing things so profoundly. When I began practicing yoga breathing excersizes, I paid more attention to my breathing. It astounded me to realize how often throughout the day that I caught myself actually holding my breath (from tension). Emotions are so natural, in that way, like breathing. We flow through them, at times, sometimes not even noticing our anger...or until it plays out in some way.


quote:
Does it seem like sagittarians tend to be single most of the time or is this just the saggies I know? I feel that we have very hard time meeting partners we're compatibile with, or that fate just rips our partners away quickly. Maybe this is just my life and a few saggies I've known. But I don't know a single sagittarius in a relationship. And despite the designation of saggies as the ultimate optimists, they can get REALLY mopey and negative.

It's weird, but I don't know any other Saggies right now. There seems to be times in my life where I'm clustered by certain signs. Right now, and for some time it's been mostly Scorpios, Aquarians and Leos. When I was younger there was a Sag-cluster-period. So, I can't speak for other Sags, but I think you're right about it being hard to find someone compatible with us. We are so dual, contradictive, complex.
I was thinking the other day about Sags and Aquarians. They're both freedom-loving, but Aquarians are so extreme about it, that they somehow have it easier. They can detatch from their emotions, whereas we can become fully immersed in them. Sags want more of the best of both worlds and in Jupiter fashion, all the way. We want deep intimacy, and lighter relations, as well as our independence. Aquarians seem satisfied with just lighter relations and independence. They're not as brave with intimacy as we are. We'll risk it, with faith our freedom will somehow remain.

I think most astro writings fail to touch on so much about Sagittarian's duality. It's different, then Gemini duality. Fire immerses...Air shifts lighter on currents.
Take our optimisim for example....in the end we are optimisitic. Well, that doesn't mean that in the meantime we aren't purging through the most horrible moments of pessimistic times of loss of faith and trust. We get there, but the books fail to tell the journey of the inbetween. Anything you say of us, you can say the other. We're open, but we withold. We're innocent,but wise. Trusting, yet skeptical. On and on, etc.

I think Sags have a hard time trusting, and believing, although the best of them always comes forth trying anyway. The more they try and that hope is shattered by harsh experience, the more they hold out for what they know could be, if only....they take breaks from believing to heal their faith. So, hence, they're single.
Well...that's just a little part of it. There's so much more to it.

goodnight, BR.

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ListensToTrees
Knowflake

Posts: 434
From: the capricious clouds
Registered: Jul 2005

posted April 30, 2007 04:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ListensToTrees     Edit/Delete Message

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BlueRoamer
Knowflake

Posts: 2481
From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean
Registered: Jun 2003

posted April 30, 2007 04:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueRoamer     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Lia, thanks for your response. I'm going to have to mull over it for a few days, then get back to it when I feel not pressured for time.

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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 1402
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted May 01, 2007 11:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
Blue, mull away.
You're always
worth the wait.


http://www.jenniferboyer.com/QuotesInsanity.html

(more meantime mulling, but no comment required)


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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 1402
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted May 01, 2007 11:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
Dark Night Dawn


I stumbled into the
stinging Retina Dawn,
feverish and trembling

Madness still tingling
the membrane of my mind

Bursting out of that endless Dark Night,
Rebirthed
anew from some past mutant inhabitant
who strolled the days
in slumber,
never breaking on
beyond the
telling Dream

In frenzy ~

the Sun

In delirium ~

the Sky


Eyes and Chin raised
Nobly

Forever Changed
for
a Silent Scream.

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