posted February 21, 2008 12:35 AM         

I have begun to realize that my obsession with "finding the truth" has been making me depressed.

There is this incessant desire I have, to be everywhere, know everything, absorb as many facts as I can all at once.

To know everything, to understand everything from every different possible perspective.

In a way, this causes one to stand outside of any group, any place, belonging to everything and yet not really belonging.
This is lonely.
But I cannot blame any other person than myself for this.
I was the one who desired this truth, this path.

I wanted to know everything, and I searched inside the rabbit hole.
And there is no way we can ever get to the bottom of it!

I don't think we ever can in this dimension!

It is no good trying to understand everything at once.

I must learn to focus on things once step at a time.
Must learn to focus on what's really important.

When I, we graduate, from this dimension, there will be time to learn all those things we ever wanted- and see past all the distortions.

Perceptions here are limited.

Love is really all that matters.
And learning to understand what "true love" really means.

Everybody has their own path.
I feel that no-one is superior.

Love is all that truly matters.

I'm done with searching; I'm done with rabbit holes.
I thought that someone close to me was less aware than I, for not being into spiritual matters, when they were right all along.

How we live our life is what really counts.

It's no good for one person to try and carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, always tormented by questioning why such things happen in the world. What good is that? I am only amplifying sadness. One day, one day the answers will be clear. Until then, the best thing for me to focus on is health and peace. How can I possibly help others if I can't help myself?
When we become peace, we radiate peace.

It's time to let go and to stop staring into the abyss. The abyss was starting to stare back into me.

posted February 21, 2008 04:53 AM         

then do some mudras (same site)

posted February 21, 2008 11:33 AM         

Root: under-active (-38%)
Sacral: over-active (75%)
Navel: under-active (-19%)
Heart: open (44%)
Throat: open (50%)
Third Eye: open (44%)
Crown: open (50%)

posted February 21, 2008 01:10 PM         

You and I seem to be vibin' on the same wavelength...

It's so hard!! And you know what? Even when you try to let go, more than likely you are the type of person who will keep asking... seeking... looking for more answers!

I agree that love is a huge factor of life, of course it is within every fiber of this universe; (if it is a tangible thing) a miniscule light that exists in each planetary flake of dust.

... but is it enought to accept that??

Sometimes I try to live by the mantra

IT IS WHAT IT IS ....

but is that enough??...

Sorry.. kinda rambly today.

I know what you mean though.

posted February 22, 2008 12:52 AM         

I think what I'm just going to do more on things with good energy, positive vibes.

After all, that's what our Infinite Source is.

Anything which expresses the opposite is just part of the illusion.

posted February 22, 2008 12:56 PM         

Take conspiracy theories.
If you read the latest book, say, from David Icke, their is a chapter which highlights the existence of reptilians from many different sources. A person reading it, reading the various sourced information combined, would feel inclined to believe. But it still is NOT proof. When I watched Credo Mutwa's interview about the Reptilian Agenda, I felt he was sincere and has a very likeable personality. However, if I really think about, there are other explanations to the viewpoint he is dishing out to everybody there so enthusiastically. For example, if he was abducted, no-one knows what that was really for. Perhaps a false memory chip was implanted in his brain to later cause him to say these things, causing negativity and confusion?

posted February 22, 2008 01:17 PM         

I have been going through precisely the same things in the last year or so. I have had to 'let go' of so many things, so many 'conspiracies'. It was affecting my personal life, and that cannot be afforded.

However, I, like you and so many others, cannot simply abandon the search for Truth, and have chosen to focus upon the spreading of Truth by becoming an example of it in my everyday life. I live how I live, believe what I believe, and when someone asks me, "How/why do you do it?", "What do you think?", I tell them honestly. But, like yourself, I do not jump into that rabbit hole like I once did.

There are things we can make a difference in, things we can sink our minds into that are not so ungrounded as alien contacts, weather manipulation, mind control, etc. Find something for which there is absolute proof, and make people aware of it.

One of my favorites at the moment concerns energy technology. I mean, when a guy can ride around in a '94 Ford Escort which is powered by water (100 miles per 4 oz.), that is real and it is out there for the world to see. You know what I mean?

You may feel alone, but you are not.

posted February 22, 2008 02:43 PM         

Thank you Lexx.

Thirteen, this is what I believe:
"Wisdom is knowing how little we know".

And
"Infinite Love is the only truth- Everything else is illusion".

Truth which is inside us, sure we can know. But truth outside is like the story of the six blind men and the elephant I have posted here.

I'll keep searching, but I'll be more humble about it, that's what I really mean.

I will try not to force my beliefs on others, will endeavor to be constructive- as "one man's medicine is another man's poison".

Hee hee.
Rabbit hole.

posted February 22, 2008 04:35 PM         

sometimes I don't even know what I am waiting for, sometimes I know, but I still wait and do the best I can with the small tasks I encounter everyday.