posted February 26, 2008 12:03 PM         

Here is a list, for reference:

Lovingkindness, good-will (metta):
Near enemy - attachment, conditional love
Far enemy - hatred

Compassion (karuna):
Near enemy - pity
Far enemy - cruelty

Sympathetic Joy, Appreciation (mudita);
joy at the good fortune of others:
Near enemy - comparison, hypocrisy, insincerity,
joy for others but tinged with identification
(my team, my child)
Far enemy - envy

Equanimity (upekkha):
Near enemy - indifference
far enemy - anxiety, greed

As I write this, I am inspired to reflect on the near-enemy of equanimity, which is indifference. It is very tempting to fall into the trap of thinking that "not caring" equals equanimity, but this is another form of egotism. The following is a quote from the book "Being Nobody, Going Nowhere", by Ayya Khema:

"The last of our four friends is the crowning glory of all emotions: equanimity, even-mindedness. Its far-enemy is anxiety and restlessness, but its near-enemy is indifference, and the two are easily confused. Indifference is a state of mind which says, "I don't care, as long as it doesn't happen to me or my family. I don't want to know about it. I don't want to get upset." Indifference is cold, rejecting. It has no love in it, no loving-kindness. We just want to protect ourself, and to accomplish that we become disinterested. But even-mindedness is based on wisdom and the insight that everything changes, on an understanding of total impermanence... Equanimity needs more than just the determination to be even-minded. Determination is useful, but it can easily be based on suppression. We tend to suppress our strong emotions. That doesn't benefit us at all because they come out eventually. What we suppress in one way, finds different outlets. Suppression can result in sickness and depression. It can show itself in other upheavals. We are not upset by one particular situation, but by another."

The answer, I think, is to renew the practice of awareness, and to become ever mindful of our motivations for doing things. Only a Buddha is perfectly even-minded and motivated by loving-kindness. For the rest of us, the temptation to fall into complacency is ever-present, and, in the end, a complacent mind/heart is no better than a restless and anxious one.

posted February 26, 2008 12:41 PM         

I think it's quite strange how we all seem to recognize what is going on around us and all have different ways of handling/confronting these situations. It feels like it did about 3 years ago around here again... and how ironic that you should find this most perfect excerpt to describe one reaction to such internal/external struggles that seem to be dogging quite a few people atm.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this... maybe I really need something else to do today... but I was just thinking the exact same thing after reading a few postings. Well, not quite in such an eloquent manner, but there were a few little thought-oids floating around that mimic what you have posted, the end result of a wayward thought process that has been a windin' round in my head for the past hour or so...

Anywho, that is wonderful, so true, and if only I could claim to not be guilty of it... Someday...

Ghani

We tend to suppress our strong emotions. That doesn't benefit us at all because they come out eventually. What we suppress in one way, finds different outlets. Suppression can result in sickness and depression. It can show itself in other upheavals. We are not upset by one particular situation, but by another.

posted February 26, 2008 03:51 PM         

quote:

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We tend to suppress our strong emotions. That doesn't benefit us at all because they come out eventually. What we suppress in one way, finds different outlets. Suppression can result in sickness and depression. It can show itself in other upheavals.

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So true. And ghanima, I finally feel I 'm finding my voice now.

Before, my only outlet was through writing, through creating and through singing.
However- one thing I always struggled with was connecting.

I feel as if I'm beginning to discover....how to be whole again.

posted December 28, 2008 10:22 AM         

quote:

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...the near-enemy of equanimity is indifference. It is very tempting to fall into the trap of thinking that "not caring" equals equanimity, but this is another form of egotism. The following is a quote from the book "Being Nobody, Going Nowhere", by Ayya Khema:

"The last of our four friends is the crowning glory of all emotions: equanimity, even-mindedness. Its far-enemy is anxiety and restlessness, but its near-enemy is indifference, and the two are easily confused. Indifference is a state of mind which says, "I don't care, as long as it doesn't happen to me or my family. I don't want to know about it. I don't want to get upset." Indifference is cold, rejecting. It has no love in it, no loving-kindness. We just want to protect ourself, and to accomplish that we become disinterested. But even-mindedness is based on wisdom and the insight that everything changes, on an understanding of total impermanence... Equanimity needs more than just the determination to be even-minded. Determination is useful, but it can easily be based on suppression. We tend to suppress our strong emotions. That doesn't benefit us at all because they come out eventually. What we suppress in one way, finds different outlets. Suppression can result in sickness and depression. It can show itself in other upheavals. We are not upset by one particular situation, but by another."

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