posted September 30, 2010 06:11 AM
Consciousness, emerging into matter, in infinite forms with infinite views. There's no map and no manual, no starlight to steer by. An inner light? Perhaps. We are all lost in this strange world. Deep down, we all feel it- we long for reconnection, to feel Oneness again. We don't know how or where to find it. Perpetual change. Metamorphosis? Good against evil. Are they illusions? What is polarity? Must there be duality? When opposites become one....spiritual love, physical lust....the masculine and feminine energy combined....there is ecstasy, peace.....What is duality? Is there a state harmony where the existence of duality does not mean there must be pain, death and destruction that exist as we know them here? Good and evil....What are they? I prefer the words empathy over good and disconnection over evil. Empathy is a knowing of the interconnectedness of all things and that separation is only the separation of our minds/ bodies vessels/ different viewpoints. We are all as lost in this as each other. We all judge one another. We struggle between our own higher reasoning and the programming instilled into us. It's hard to tell what is real and what is not. Some instinctively avoid these questions because they know it could drive them nuts and they are burdened by much just to provide for themselves and loved ones, to get from one day to the next. It's not the right time for them to be "unplugged" from the Matrix, as it were. We are driven by the fears of the subconscious and impulses of the body and emotions. Biological imbalances cloud the mind and make it difficult to see. Mind chatter is endless. I just want to see. I long for freedom from the mind, along with freedom from illusory beliefs and whims. I want to know what is real. Does soul simply return to "Oneness" where form, individuality, experience and co-creativity are of no importance? Or is there a place where we may have both? Or infinite possibilities? Do we chose our reality as we may chose a cd or dvd or lucid dream?
I chose a place of empathy
and love, a place without torture
a place of beauty where all
creatures live in harmony and there is
no fear, no need for killing or death.....
if there is change it is through ascension
or a process of metamorphosis.
Would such a place exist....or did such a place exist and become boring? Do we crave negativity? Or is there a state of consciousness where it is not needed any more? Did something happen to create a "fall"?
~~~
Harmony....an end to war, to the desire beings have to harm one another in some quest to put things right the way they see them as right, or fight because of the struggle to understand one another and inner pain from the yearning for connectedness- a deep inner longing for some place of wholeness.
The destruction we inflict on ourselves is a symptom of this pain. Because we do not fully understand ourselves....each other....the world....why we are here....how other creatures feel and see things.....the nature of reality....or really anything.
We are lost in a strange world of conflicting ideas, brainwashing, programming and illusion. The most powerful illusions are those instilled in us as young children. There are times when I feel as if I'm struggling to stay afloat in an ocean of endless questions. I'm drowning in my mind. I'm crying out to be rescued. But are we our own saviors? And when I feel overwhelmed at times by all these questions, or an empty vessel who can take little pressure/ has no light to give, does that make me a failure? Who is to blame? Can I help what I inherently feel; the natural path my consciousness flows upon; did my higher self chose this path or did another force chose it for me? It seems to be what it is, there seems to be futility in pretending to suppress or run from our true emotions and questions because this seems to lead to other problems. We buy into the program of guilt and live our lives to try to satisfy the expectations of others, because maybe this will fulfill our need for wholeness and to belong. But does it? Guilt, failure...image and perspective....concepts or reality? Which concepts are useful to us, which ones are right?
Is it easier to just judge each other than to try to understand? Is it too overwhelming to consider the idea we all experience in such different ways? Is it too challenging to try to develop the gift of, or attunement to, empathy? Who's ideas are we being guided by? Our own or the ideas of others? Are they valid any more? Are we being led by our own higher reasoning and sense of wisdom, or simply by the ideas we have been conditioned to believe? Are we free?
Perhaps "freedom" is when we are true to ourselves. But the feeling of disconnection, the lack of understanding in our world in general....finding others who we can talk to about these things...the need for companionship and understanding (and honesty)......living in a world where others, who are a part of us, are suffering....feels painful. Can we change this?