posted December 20, 2011 05:30 AM            

Here is my background story (it's very long, sorry about that) -

I've never questioned the concept of reincarnation, because I was born knowing my last life. (They say one is not supposed to be able to remember things back before they were two years old or so, but it's been confirmed by family members that my memory goes back unusually far, at very least to six months old.)

My first memory is lying in my crib, wondering what I was doing there, why did I have this body? I used to be a full grown man! What happened to the jungle, where I had been before? This was not a memory conjured later in life, but one that has always been there - in my very early years, I would repeatedly ask questions about the jungle, where were the people I had known?

When I was able to talk, I alarmed my family (who were not believers in past lives in the least) with statements that I had been a man named John, from Michigan, USA, who had last been in the jungle - a dangerous place, damp and miserable. I could recall the uncomfortable weather and the way the mud had stuck to my skin and clothes, and the painful rashes that developed. I didn't know what clothes these were, only that they were a certain color green. There were some other memories before the jungle - living in a house with diamond shaped window panes, certain smells, later, sitting in square building when it was very dark, waiting for a bus to come and a geometrically laid out place with a flagpole...but these felt sad, utterly lonely and vague.

I could not understand how this had been my past and now I was a little girl in Texas - everything was so different! Eventually, I stopped asking and just co-existed with the memories. Sometimes, though, they would come bursting out in frightening ways. For instance, my family did not listen to rock or pop music, but one day when I was two, my sister switched on a rock station in the car, and when a certain song came on (it was "long cool woman" by the Hollies - no one in my family has ever forgotten this!) I began to scream and scream, begging not to go back to the jungle. I was so hysterical, shrieking and thrashing they had to stop the car.

I was born during the Vietnam war era, but I didn't know about the war then - my uncle was a soldier there, and my mother did not want to see or hear about anything war-related. There was no television in our house for this reason (as well as because they were rather conservative) My uncle was fortunate enough to make it home, but has never spoken about it to this day. I didn't make the war connection with my memories until age 10, when I had seen a preview for a war movie - the dread and fear were overwhelming and the nightmares began.

Avoiding war movies became important during my teen years - it was difficult because during the 80's and 90's there were many of them. The nightmares they caused were deeply disturbing.It was only later, at age 22 that I could watch one. At that point, the fear and nightmares disappeared. I felt I had come to terms with something - there was a feeling that I had passed the same age that John from Michigan had been when he had passed on. That had been a terribly difficult year emotionally, but after that, I was no longer haunted by these strange memories.

It was only after active study years later that I saw how closely tied the memories were to realities that existed then. Things like the weather and the health problems, the colors, clothing, even the music - I had no idea there there could be music in a war zone, but in that era, there was.

Now for the other part of the story -

I was officially diagnosed with depression at 14, but it was suspected long before - I had been sent to doctor after doctor from age 5 to find out "what was wrong" with me. Something was wrong, all right, It could only be described as a mental suffering that would not budge. Feelings of guilt and shame were overwhelming, listlessness, all overlaid with a sense of "sickness" that simply would not respond to any treatment.

I grew up in an unhappy home, which did not help, but the problem seemed to go even deeper than that. Add to this I was an unusual kid, with these past life memories, esoteric interests and an occasional gift for prophecy. It didn't make for an easy path. The teen years were even rougher, when it seemed I was a target for violence and victimization again and again. Bad things kept happening, despite the best intentions. As time went on, it seemed important to take responsibility, seek a higher spiritual ground and look out for the good of my soul.

Everything I had read about reincarnation to this point had said it takes many years for a soul to come back - which did not fit with my memories. It seemed - if the memories were true - that I had come back immediately, so fast it was a shock to my present self. Then I read "Starsigns", and IIRC, it said that if a person had died by their own hand, they would come back immediately to face the situation they tried to escape - again, and again, until it was resolved.

I thought at the time this was an unlikely way to go, in that situation - who does themselves in during combat? But that was before I learned about the mental anguish of war, and what it can do to the mind and spirit. Still, how John from Michigan had met his end was never clear to me, that part of the memory was a confusing jumble. There was only one clue. They say that birthmarks can be wounds from previous lives, and I was born with a depression in the bone right over my heart, with a round white mark, like a bullet hole. It's faded over the years but is still there on close examination.

Still, I wasn't sure. Then I had a very unusual experience, meeting one of the most enlightened people I've had the good fortune to know. He looked right at me and said - out of the blue! "I can see what happened to you - you were a soldier so overwhelmed with guilt for what you had done, you took your own life - that's why you have that mark on your chest." There was no way he could have seen this mark, it was covered by clothing. Nor could he have known about the memories...

All this led to deep consideration about how painful and difficult my life had been to that point, and the question of Karma in particular. About 12 years ago, after a lot of meditation, I felt strongly I needed to take the path of forgiving all Karmic debt owed to me and work on paying out my own.

Life has much improved since then - though this was unexpected. Having prepared for more hardship than ever, instead I feel truly blessed.

Still, the depression does not budge. No medication, therapy, positive thinking, herbal preparation, spiritual healing...nothing shifts it. Even if it were biochemical, medication should have affected it somehow. Therapy (with an understanding, open-minded doctor) has helped in other ways, but the depression stays, like a 'flu that never ends.

For anyone who has read through this very long story - is this part of the Karma I must pay? Or something else? If so, is there any way to resolve it, or is this simply the path I must travel in this lifetime?

If it is Karma, it seems it would not be a helpful way to pay it out, it does not help anyone much. Seems there could be a better way, that truly pays a debt. But then again, I may have the wrong idea. I don't have the understanding necessary at this point.

I would be grateful for any of your thoughts about it.

posted December 21, 2011 04:02 AM            

Honestly, that's bulls**t.

posted December 21, 2011 05:13 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by BelligerentPygmy:
*read the thread question*

Honestly, that's bulls**t.

Do you believe that kids that are raped by their parents, that it was their karma and they deserved it?

---

posted December 23, 2011 04:10 AM            

I was in shock for a while BUT I did not go into depression because I had already read metaphysical material on Karmic Debts. An I remembered that an inner voice told me after the recall WHO that baby is in the present.

Guilt is truly an unnecessary emotion because everything is automatically made alright for everybody in the subsequent lifelines.

As Randall correctly mentioned, New Karmic Debts are also created and are being destroyed. However, persistent debts are from our Causal Body or Oversoul Matrix of Experiences.

Is Depression a punishment of a Karmic Debt? NO. Depression is a REACTION to the Mind-Pattern of a Karmic Debt which your present Awareness THINKS you have not satisfactorily repaid, because the present is being prodded from that past life experience.

I can heal you with an NLP Visualization on the condition that you do this only in the presence of your therapist. And I need to see your Natal Chart, if there is too much water, you will need many more release exercises. I can assure you that you will be healed once you take the effort to understand the Meta Physics behind OverSoul/SUperconsciousness, Higher Self, Planes of Existence and the physics of Karmic Debts especially related to Forgiveness and Love. Only True Knowledge will set you free, denial of Universal Truths will only serve to further entrap you.

------------------
http://tamsoft.co.in/articles.html

posted December 23, 2011 11:29 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by BelligerentPygmy:

Do you believe that kids that are raped by their parents, that it was their karma and they deserved it?[/B]

---

~ Just my 2cents but, I dont think karma has anything to do with, "deserving." Obviously nobody deserves to die from an illness, or be raped by anybody. In the big picture of incarnation, everything is just an illusion. An experiment or test that our soul just wants to see, "how," we'll ultimately handle any given situation.

--------------------

Hi Victoria,
(I'll later edit my story out):

[STORY EDITED OUT]

---------------------
[Edit in]:

quote:

---

Originally posted by VictoriaPhantasmagoria:
...I needed to take the path of forgiving all Karmic debt owed to me and work on paying out my own.

...If it is Karma, it seems it would not be a helpful way to pay it out, it does not help anyone much.

---

~ This is just, "my," opinion but,...Forgiving Karmic debts can help begin facilitating one towards the learning process. However it does NOT mean that one would necessarily LEARN the LESSON. It's like someone going to a Catholic confessional & expecting their sins to be instantly lifted there-after.

posted December 24, 2011 04:59 AM            

------------------
http://tamsoft.co.in/articles.html

posted December 28, 2011 12:04 PM            

What if, perhaps, it is not Karma, necessarially, but the memory of a situation that is causing PTSD in this lifetime, thus depression?

A situation of a chemically altered brain, experiencing PTSD due to a traumatic past life memory?

posted December 29, 2011 01:33 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by hippichick:
A bit of a different spin here, o and by the way I have really enjoyed reading this thread~

What if, perhaps, it is not Karma, necessarially, but the memory of a situation that is causing PTSD in this lifetime, thus depression?

A situation of a chemically altered brain, experiencing PTSD due to a traumatic past life memory?

Just a thought~

---

posted December 29, 2011 12:17 PM            

But even the ability to get this particular past-life memory recall [which truly can alter the neuro-chemical balance and create depression] could be due to a karmic debt ?
And repaying this debt [and subsequently overcoming depression, deleting this memory etc] could be a way of learning and going forward [as Agent is trying to relate].

------------------
http://tamsoft.co.in/articles.html

posted December 31, 2011 03:31 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by hippichick:
What if, perhaps, it is not Karma, necessarially, but the memory of a situation that is causing PTSD in this lifetime, thus depression?

A situation of a chemically altered brain, experiencing PTSD due to a traumatic past life memory?

---

Hippie/Teasel,

IQ made a good point. I believe, our over-soul lets you remember what you're supposed to...in order for you to start taking the appropriate steps of deciding what to do with those memories.
Now if one cannot handle it, and it becomes manic depression & over time, that permanently alters their brain chemicals...then perhaps it is their karma to experience full blown mental illness. That would be similar to someone being born with low IQ, or being genetically predisposed to having mental illness.
Take 2 cancer patients, with the same cancer & stage. Person A's karmic lesson may be to learn how to fight it & survive. While Person B's lesson might be to fight it & ultimately make peace with the concept of death. Who knows, but before thinking so negatively or giving up,..I believe it's part of our karmic lessons to give it a fair shot. Nobody knows until they've given their all.
The whole point of my story, isnt to tell people, "you too can conquer XYZ earthly problems if you try hard enough." I'm really conveying the message, "you too can learn alot from a crappy situation, IF you've tried hard enough." Karma isnt about paying back what you owe, or being able to conquer Karma itself. It's simply, what did you learn from it that you could put to constructive use from here on forth?

My dad has many patients with severe mental illness. I take the medical aspect of it very seriously & I do know quite a bit about it. Long term chronic/manic depression WILL alter one's brain chemical balance. Now when that has happened, one must seek medical attention. So how do you know if you've reached that level of seriousness?

I know I wasnt at that stage yet, but if it drags on for another 10yrs, I may very well be. If you're SO depressed to the point, you have difficulty functioning normally...doing simple things like getting out of bed to go to work, then you know you've got a problem.

From an energetic stand-point, every illness starts from your energy body. By the time it's manifested into a physical problem...that's already the final stage.

Teasel, in your case, if you are depressed for reasons unknown to yourself (serious major reasons). That's because you are burning out your higher energy centers (chakras). For now, I suggest you start USING your lower energy centers. This will help balance yourself out & reduce depression. Continue working on that, while slowly reflect on what's truly bothering you.

Burning out the higher chakras, physically translates to slowly alterating your brain's chemical balance. Many people who suffer from severe mental illnesses like schizophrenia, or even illegal substance induced mental illnesses have permanently blown out Crown/3rd-eye chakras. Once an energy center is permanently blown out & fried, it is irreversible & no energy work could reverse the damaged chakra. Those folks would have to be put on meds the rest of their lives to physically control their chemical balance. This is also why Kundalini has the potential to induce mental illness in someone. The powerful energy, if not safely managed, can blow out one's chakras.

posted January 02, 2012 12:19 PM            

In my personal situation, it is quite clear that my brain chemistry has been altered,(am an ICU RN) and have done quite a bit of research on the physical implications of PTSD and depression.

It all started with my late husband who was an emotionally and mentally abusive alcoholic, who eventually killed himself, but I was left with 2 young kids to raise, PTSD and depression. My eldest, now 23, has her own PTSD as well.

I have found a mix of meds that work well enough for me, but as a holistic practitioner I am quite open to not just easing the symptoms, but going for the root causse, Karma or not, and healing soul as well.

Victoria, did not mean too jack your thread, but this is of personal as well professional interest to me.

posted January 09, 2012 02:14 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by iQ:
I need to get a print out of Agent's excellent post and re-read it regularly for inspiration.

---

My thoughts Exactly! I actually did copy and pasted to a word document several things said in this thread that I found very enlightening.

I want to thank the person who originated this thread for sharing their fascinating experience and to you and everyone else who contributed positively to this thread!

Edit:

Agent and IQ you two should write a book together!

posted January 09, 2012 05:39 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by BelligerentPygmy:
*read the thread question*

Honestly, that's bulls**t.

Do you believe that kids that are raped by their parents, that it was their karma and they deserved it?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by LEXX:
I have issues with the validity of Karma too.
Do not get me started.
Something is just not right in my opinion.

---

I agree with LEXX and BP on this one.

Personally, I strongly do NOT believe in past lives AT ALL. My opinion of karma is mixed: how you treat others can definitely determine how they treat you, but I don't believe that it's as black-and-white as "good guys are rewarded, bad guys are punished"--at least not in our life on earth. I do believe in divine judgment, and in one merciful and loving God, but (and as a Libra it pains me greatly to say this), life on earth is not always fair. Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people. It's not like the movies or stories where the good guys wear the white outfits, the bad guys wear the black outfits, and at the end of the day, the bad guys are dead or in jail and the good guys safe and sound at home. And, of course, there is also the existence of 'grey guys' who are on neither side, and the existence of some good guys and bad guys who switch sides--sometimes in certain situations, sometimes on a more permanent basis.

I believe that depression can be the result of a physical imbalance in the brain or else as a result of certain kinds of life experiences, or both.

I do NOT believe that people who have depression or other problems have done something in another lifetime to deserve it. Quite frankly, that idea is very judgmental and as someone who has suffered depression in the past, I find it VERY HIGHLY offensive. That's as far as I'm going to get into that, so as not to say anything ban-worthy.

posted January 16, 2012 02:18 PM            

It is not easy to contend with the crimes of past lives, especially in those where we did not believe in them. I certainly did not believe in past lifelines when I was shooting in Vietnam or chopping off enemies in Ancient Central Asia. The realization of who [in the present] we hurt back then, well it will make a rigid believer of any faith into a mental wreck. I literally beg my clients to not undertake any regression on their own. Always better to know from Astrology.

I still get cold sweat.

One of my favorite proofs of past lifelines is the Lincoln and Kennedy synchronicities. http://www.near-death.com/experiences/reincarnation08.html

A simpler one. Very few books written by Americans exist on Occult Vedic Tantra, one of them being Aghora by RObert SVoboda. In that book, Svoboda's guru alleges that Emperor Akbar was the reincarnation of King PRITHVIRAJ of Chauhan Dynasty, Akbar being born 350 years after the death of Prithviraj.

346 years after the death of Akbar, his life was remade into an amazing movie named "Mughal E Azam" [released in 1960 after nine years of shooting] And the actor who got the lead role of Akbar in that movie was: PRITHVIRAJ of the Kapoor clan [Both Chauhan and Kapoor are North Indian Clans]
Out of a million Indian names, the lead hero had to have the same name as the famous King Prithviraj! What are the odds?

posted February 23, 2012 03:13 PM            

_______________________________________

If it is Karma, it seems it would not be a helpful way to pay it out, it does not help anyone much. Seems there could be a better way, that truly pays a debt.

_______________________________________