posted April 14, 2017 05:45 PM
Okay, this is going to be long, so please bare with me!
Long before I became a spiritual person, my young little mind often (very often) contemplated the deeper mysteries of life, magic, and reincarnation, etc. The belief of 'past-lives' always felt so right to me, even as I got older and developed a more logical, cynical mindset. I continued to reject the idea up until I awakened back in 2013.
Recently I have been coming to terms with that yes, many of us have been here before! My whole life I have suffered bad amnesia of both present and past, I have a very bad memory, but an incredibly vivid one. On a good day, I can recall any visual, sound, smell (eidetic, yet faulty.)
As an individual, I am very talented. I have perfect auditory pitch and I can sing on key without music, while keeping rhythm in my head. I only learned I could do this (again) back in 2013. I recently picked up guitar and discovered I am left-handed with it, despite being right handed, which led me to discover I have an ambidextrous brain.
But since I was a child, I can paint or draw basically anything (couple links to my work down below). I am a very skilled horseback rider, I am physically very athletic, quick, and flexible, talented writer, cook, and quick learner.
This not me being vain in way. The reason I can do these things I because I have high-functioning autism, which I was diagnosed with back in 2013. And it has its drawbacks, I have fibromyalgia and a host of physical ills that take over if I don't properly care of myself.
Anyways, back on point. How could anyone be able to do what I can do, if they hadn't lived not a one, but many past lives? When I looked at the Lexigrams within my name, I was honestly terrified by what I saw. I see a spirit that has been around since ancient times, and honestly, I think I did some terrible things...
At the time of my spiritual awakening, I was an atheist. But after the birth of my son, I got very ill with post-partum depression and some disease they couldn't properly diagnosis. I was losing my vision due to optic nerve inflammation and was suffering extreme weight loss and muscular dystophy. My anxiety attacks were becoming so acute, I had to be hospitalized. I could not eat nor drink without vomiting bile, due to the physical and mental stress I was under. I was experiencing excruciating nerve pain throughout my whole body.
At some point I must have broke, because I walked away from my whole life. My fiance, my son, the doctors, my family & the abuse, my home and everything I had ever owned - I literally sacrificed it all and for the sake of my health and my sanity. I never got any of it back, aside from my son, who was all I ever needed in the end. <3
When I went away for a few months, I met a man who taught me palm reading through a mutual friend, and the reading I received changed my life. He showed me Mayan Astrology, reiki healing, herbal medicines and entirely different way of living. Not long after, I met a sundancer who would then rekindle my indigenous roots, and start me down spiritual path of my ancestors.
I received a Kunzite stone and Linda Goodman's Star Signs from another good friend, and from that point on I was an entirely different person. It was like some new spirit stepped into my body and started to take control, in extraordinary ways! I started palm reading myself, started singing and doing art again, and slowly rebuilt my life. Now I am a private contractor for Iyinisiwin Indigenous Consulting Services (IICS) and have slowly been obtaining my goals and dreams, one by one.
So here I am today. I have had many intense dreams recently, but have also started recall key dreams I have forgotten over time (those dreams that truly shake you, for the rest of your life.) And those dreams I realize, are trying to tell me something...
They are trying to help me remember who I am.
I use to dream of being trapped on the Titanic, embracing someone at the bottom of a hallway. I say bottom, because we are looking up - the ship is already sinking, and we are going down. The water comes crushing and cold like a waterfall, I awaken.
I know for certain I drowned in a past life. Once when I was a little girl, I was dreamed I was trapped underwater and holding my breath. I woke up because I was suffocating myself!
Whenever I look at a picture of that sunken giant, I am petrified. My heart races and I feel an anxiety attack creep in (which I have not had to experience in a few years, thanks to healing.)
Right now I am currently at odds with my twin flame. I don't know what the future holds of us, and I have just pulled out of a severely traumatic and stressful period in my life, exactly one year after I attend my first Sundance Fast, and prayed harder than I ever have. With no food or water for 4 days, you go into a sweatlodge each morning and pray.
No touching anything man-made, no brushing your hair, no cellphone, no talking to the opposite sex - you can do nothing but one with yourself and the Grandfathers & Grandmothers. You go there to die and to be reborn.
It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.
Today is April 14th, 105 year anniversary of Titanic's sinking. And all those prayers are being answered, in ways I couldn't even of fathomed. My birthday is in exactly one month away (May 14th) and today is the day I plan to start writing my book, in the place I have chosen to write my story: my favorite cafe, a century old historic building known asBlock 1912.
How is it that I am to start my career as a writer on the 14th of April, at a place called Block 1912, on the day that the Titanic sank, on April 14th 1912?
How can this all be real? Please, I would love some insight on what has happened - and may be happening.
Magnetic communication with the public through writing, publishing, and all media-related matters is associated with the 14. Periodic changes in business and partnerships of all kinds are usually beneficial. Dealing with speculative matters brings luck; likewise, movement and travel associated with combinations of people and nations can be fortunate. However, both gains and losses are sometimes temporary, due to the strong currents of change, which are ever-present. 14 warns of danger from accidents related to natural elements, i.e.: fire, flood, earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, tempests, and so forth. (This is not an absolute, merely a warning to be cautious.) There is risk involved in depending on the word of those who misrepresent a situation. It's a mistake to rely on others. Rely on the intuition, the self, the voice within. The "luck" of 14 includes money dealings and speculative projects, or "betting," but there's always a danger of loss due to wrong advice from others, or overconfidence.
Born on the 14th.
Amber = 1 4 2 2 2 = 11
Lyne = 3 1 5 5 = 14
EDIT: I'll post pictures of my art work soon, just having link issues.
A painting I did for a Syrian refugee fundraiser auction. It took me 2hrs or so.
"And we bleed and barrel down this telescope, I know what I need, I feel your compass guide me."