posted August 03, 2017 09:53 AM            

Im finally here ...
Where to start...
I think im still shocked, i opened a door i didnt want to (or was prepared to), it really touched / shocked / moved me..
Coming back here is painfull its like the fears are coming back, this is really weird and i dont know what to think about all this ..
I know all of this happened but i cant "remember" it, its like burried somewhere, maybe my little brain is protecting me ?

About the heat / waves etc, it went on for 2 days and then disapeared.
I tried to "lock" it by thinking i was tying it up with a string, making a nice knot
It came back 2 weeks after that while i was drinving, just like that, i relaxed and it passed.
I think this is "just" anxiety mixed with tiredness..

I told the story to my guy, the attraction, the crazy "psychic" moment. he said everything was ok and meant it. I guess he saw that i was sincere ..
I decided he was my ground, when i was having signs of anxiety waking up i was putting my hands on him and it helped me a lot !
I was so releaved to tell him, and so releaved he understood i couldnt do anything about everything ..

I need to read your post again Lexxi and i dont feel like i can "stand" it (really think about all that ) for now, so i will come back later, ok ?

About the guy, while i had stopped thinking about him for 2 weeks it "gently" came back, light thoughts, nice dreams....
I decided to stop trying to push him away, the last try didnt succeed so well + its exhausting, i dont know what to do anymore..

posted August 06, 2017 09:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Zhooey:
Hello

Im finally here ...
Where to start...
I think im still shocked, i opened a door i didnt want to (or was prepared to), it really touched / shocked / moved me..
Coming back here is painfull its like the fears are coming back, this is really weird and i dont know what to think about all this ..
I know all of this happened but i cant "remember" it, its like burried somewhere, maybe my little brain is protecting me ?

About the heat / waves etc, it went on for 2 days and then disapeared.
I tried to "lock" it by thinking i was tying it up with a string, making a nice knot
It came back 2 weeks after that while i was drinving, just like that, i relaxed and it passed.
I think this is "just" anxiety mixed with tiredness..

I told the story to my guy, the attraction, the crazy "psychic" moment. he said everything was ok and meant it. I guess he saw that i was sincere ..
I decided he was my ground, when i was having signs of anxiety waking up i was putting my hands on him and it helped me a lot !
I was so releaved to tell him, and so releaved he understood i couldnt do anything about everything ..

I need to read your post again Lexxi and i dont feel like i can "stand" it (really think about all that ) for now, so i will come back later, ok ?

About the guy, while i had stopped thinking about him for 2 weeks it "gently" came back, light thoughts, nice dreams....
I decided to stop trying to push him away, the last try didnt succeed so well + its exhausting, i dont know what to do anymore..

I would like to thank you for helping me, i really needed someone to hold my hand .. ¢¾

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posted August 06, 2017 11:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Zhooey:
Hello

Im finally here ...
Where to start...
I think im still shocked, i opened a door i didnt want to (or was prepared to), it really touched / shocked / moved me..
Coming back here is painfull its like the fears are coming back, this is really weird and i dont know what to think about all this ..
I know all of this happened but i cant "remember" it, its like burried somewhere, maybe my little brain is protecting me ?

About the heat / waves etc, it went on for 2 days and then disapeared.
I tried to "lock" it by thinking i was tying it up with a string, making a nice knot
It came back 2 weeks after that while i was drinving, just like that, i relaxed and it passed.
I think this is "just" anxiety mixed with tiredness..

I told the story to my guy, the attraction, the crazy "psychic" moment. he said everything was ok and meant it. I guess he saw that i was sincere ..
I decided he was my ground, when i was having signs of anxiety waking up i was putting my hands on him and it helped me a lot !
I was so releaved to tell him, and so releaved he understood i couldnt do anything about everything ..

I need to read your post again Lexxi and i dont feel like i can "stand" it (really think about all that ) for now, so i will come back later, ok ?

About the guy, while i had stopped thinking about him for 2 weeks it "gently" came back, light thoughts, nice dreams....
I decided to stop trying to push him away, the last try didnt succeed so well + its exhausting, i dont know what to do anymore..

I would like to thank you for helping me, i really needed someone to hold my hand .. ♥

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posted August 06, 2017 11:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Thanks, LEXX.

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posted August 10, 2017 09:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
You're welcome.
I hope you had a nice vacation!
As to the fellow and all;
Just take it one day at a time and do not jump in to anything that could jeopardize your relationship with your main guy.
Keep the long term or trickle down in mind and what is most important for your happiness and security and peace of mind in the long haul.

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Yes, thank you that was great i have always loved this location and the sea is so comforting

Yes, i decided to "not to think" about all that, i think this was too much. plus i'll be looking for someone to guide me, i guess my mind isnt as strong as i thought it was, and well, its ok, after all i cant be perfect, the strongest person on earth (i'm learning about that at the moment, stop controlling everything, stop wanting to be the super boss all the time etc )
I try to focus on happy thoughts, i feel when the anxiety is poping. i have found a sung mantra "MAHA MRITYUN JAYA" that is really helping me. Plus i will visit my acupuncturist soon, i guess he will be able to fix me, he always have

And yes, i feel better lately, dreams have stopped ..

Oh and i put my black obsidian bracelet in a box, i have been reading that she was a super powerfull stone, putting people in front of their fear to cleanse the wounds.. not so much the thing i could use lately ..
I washed it this afternoon, looked at it because it wanted to see the "eyes" and i felt this headache poping.. this stone is definitly too strong for me at the moment even if i choose her. (isnt she perfect ? )

Have a good day, thank you for being here !! ♥

posted August 12, 2017 08:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
Zhooey
You seem to be doing fine!
And thank you for the appreciation!
Please keep us updated on how you are doing!

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