posted March 23, 2004 10:31 AM         

Dogs and Cats: How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young,
we've
got our whole lives ahead of
us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring
that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler: Make me.

5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in
the dark.

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light
bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze,
please,
please, please!

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these
people from the dark, check to
make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter
patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the
situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm
bouncing
off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't
see
a light bulb?

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the
carpet
in the dark.

11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there
...

13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs
in
a
little circle ...

15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and
he'll
do it. By the time he
finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People
change
light bulbs. So, the real
question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light,
some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS,
CATS
HAVE STAFF.

What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they want.

2. They rarely listen to you.

3. They're totally unpredictable.

4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.

5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.

6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.

7. They're moody.

8. They leave hair everywhere.

> >> CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of

furniture in the house.

2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away,
but
don't hear you when you're in the same room.

3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.

4. They growl when they are not happy.

5. When you want to play, they want to play.

6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.

7. They leave their toys everywhere.

8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to

give you a kiss.

9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

>>> CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats.

posted March 23, 2004 08:39 PM         

Thanks for this. I loved it!

posted April 02, 2004 03:45 AM         

Loved it, juni....

Love,
Rainbow