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Author Topic:   Dog Writes To Heaven
jwhop
Knowflake

Posts: 16849
From: Madeira Beach, FL USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 15, 2021 11:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jwhop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dog writes to Heaven

Dear Heaven: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear Heaven: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear Heaven: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear Heaven: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear Heaven: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear Heaven: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear Heaven: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear Heaven: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.


5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house, not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, My last two questions...

Dear Heaven: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16?

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Dee
Moderator

Posts: 4839
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 16, 2021 12:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
💖

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 148763
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 16, 2021 03:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Love this!

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 148763
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 13, 2021 02:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 148763
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 27, 2021 05:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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Randall
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Posts: 148763
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 16, 2021 12:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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