posted April 25, 2012 08:17 PM            

Sometimes when everything really sucks,like I'm reading horrible stuff on the news, I find myself thinking, "Well at least I get to die someday and it'll be better there."

It's just occurring to me that I might be thinking this a little too much anymore. Romanticizing death or something.

Does anyone else have this tendency, can you relate?

I wonder if it's a normal thing, and everyone does this, or if I have some kind of escapist tendency or subconscious death wish or something. If so I'd like to fix the problem but am having trouble pinpointing it. Could just be my 8H Pisces moon.

(Rewrote this, edited it a few times trying to phrase the question right. Sorry if it's still too ambiguous.)

posted April 26, 2012 09:56 AM            

there are benefits and downfalls for the believers in re-incarnation.. on one hand death is less intimidating for you will be born again, you'll have another chance to be a better human.. However it also means that you might have it worse next time, pay-up some of that karma u have piled up for centuries..

posted April 26, 2012 10:24 AM            

I do not believe in reincarnation. I do, however, believe in an afterlife/spirits. I believe that there is another life after this one, on the "other side". The only thing that scares me about death is if I'm not a good enough person to make it to heaven and that I'll be in hell, especially since it would mean never seeing my Leo dog or my grandmother again (the two whom I most want to see when I die, out of those whom I have known). Other than that, life scares me MUCH more than death does. Death is an end, and it brings closure. Life, on the other hand, is so uncertain.

For me, the quality of one's life matters. It's not enough just to have a heartbeat. Being only technically alive isn't really living.

I want to live only as long as I can enjoy life and I am happy, healthy, etc. When it's no longer enjoyable anymore, that's when I want out.

I'd rather die at age 30 and be in good condition than to be 90 rotting away somewhere.

I often think of all of the horrible things that can go wrong in life, and the one thing that comforts me is that I can, shall we say, "opt out" if things were really horrible. I don't have to put up with a bad quality of life: I have a choice, albeit a grim one, in the matter.

I do feel that people should have a right to die if they are physically ill. I have known people in that situation who were in a lot of pain, were miserable, and expressed a wish for a release on a daily basis. They seemed so helpless and powerless. I couldn't help but feel that they deserved to have a say in the matter.

I don't believe in preserving life at all costs just to keep a person technically alive, such as people in comas/vegetative states. It's so unfair. People should be able to die with dignity and peace, and I feel that just keeping someone alive or forcing them to live against their will when they're sick or in pain is incredibly selfish, self-serving, cruel, and inhumane. It's thinking about what YOU want instead of what's best for the person in that state. It's kind of like keeping a very sick dog alive, like when my own dog was put down (my Leo dog). I loved him very much--still do--but once I saw how much pain he was in, how he could barely move, how bad his breath smelled (it was a smell that was a symptom of sickness; he literally had a scent of death--I'm NOT talking about normal 'dog breath', but rather an odor that signified that he was in pain), how sick he was, it seemed rotten to force him to endure that when we could give him peace and relieve him. We got to say our goodbyes and tell him that we loved him; I tried to fill his little heart with as many dreams as I could about his afterlife and how he would be OK. (And yes, I DO believe that there is a place for animals in the afterlife. I am NOT going to argue that one). He was put down in a way that was gentle, compassionate, and that honored him. He wasn't forced against his will to suffer. The vet told my family that he was already hurting and would have been in excruciating agony if he had not been put down. Animals are given compassion in this area, and I feel that people should also have that right. It's inhumane and cruel to force life on people like that.

It's really not as simple as life = good and death = bad. There are a lot of gray areas.

I worry all the time about aging--about being old, ugly, fat, sick, etc. I especially worry about illness and accidents. Personally, I would not want to survive something horrible. I'd rather just pass on and not live than to be forced into an existence in which I do not want to participate.

I can understand the argument that some people can rise above horrible things, and that other people feel very differently on this issue. For myself, though, I want a peaceful, stable, healthy, happy life that I enjoy and in which I feel good about myself. I don't need wealth or any exorbitant luxuries. I just need enough to be comfortable and secure.

Quality of years is far more important to me than quanity of years.

posted April 26, 2012 10:31 AM            

I'm not sure if I believe in reincarnation or not. It's all fuzzy to me. I haven't had any experiences where I feel very strongly connected to any past life images or knowledge or anything...although sometimes I seem to get sensory impressions and a vivid imagination when I look at pictures of old places.

But I do use reincarnation as a comfort anyway, as part of my escapist "package" if you will. Rather Neptunian.

You and I both lost our fathers. Last time I saw my dad alive was my 31st birthday. For a while after he passed, I am sure he was near me. And the same for my mother who died when I was 14. Then it felt like they moved on.

Did you ever feel your dad was nearby? He seems like a great person. I like frank people who tell children the truth.

I talked to my brother recently and he said that our dad visited him in a dream and gave him money. I almost burst out crying because that is so typical of my dad's generous spirit, and I wish he'd visit me in dreams, too!

Somewhat off topic: Elvis's friends say he comes to them in dreams even now, and it's so vivid they believe it's more than a dream. I just wonder!

Maybe my debatable death wish, in part, is wanting to see my parents again. I actually lost a lot of family early on and I miss them and think they are "over there."

As opposed to possibly reincarnated already and right here somewhere, unrecognized.

posted April 26, 2012 10:35 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Platero, thanks for you input, wow! We were writing at the same time. I'll be back soon to reply.

---

looking forward to it! I don't know how much longer I'll be online, but will definitely read.

I've edited a bit, though, so if you're going to quote, would prefer that you quote the current version, if you don't mind my asking that (hope that I'm not being bossy or pushy or anything).

posted April 26, 2012 12:06 PM            

But I really appreciate the idea that it's not like life is good, death is bad. There ARE gray areas. I'm a little uncomfortable with that but seek to have it in better perspective. I hope this thread can help.

posted April 26, 2012 12:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Platero, this topic is more difficult for me than I thought, and I revised my original post several times. I won't quote you just in case you decide to revise again later, too.

But I really appreciate the idea that it's not like life is good, death is bad. There ARE gray areas. I'm a little uncomfortable with that but seek to have it in better perspective. I hope this thread can help.

More later

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thanks!

posted April 26, 2012 10:27 PM            

Platero, I love that you always seem to have thought everything out. You'd make a great professional writer, if you aren't already. And I can relate to so much of what you said.

I have some rigid standards for what I want out of life, and I have fixed ideas of what I never, ever want to have to live through. I take comfort knowing there is a "last resort" that will enable me to escape what I am most terrified of.

If I could pinpoint what I struggle with most here, it's not that it's some kind of "moral dilemma,"...it's that I, being non-religious, don't have any idea of what to make of suicide. (And I am including slow suicide by self-destructive, negligent tendencies in this category.)

Are we obligated, in any sense, karmic, religious, legal...to preserve our own lives at all costs? The more I think about it, the less I see why we should be.

I do know that Native American warriors had that saying, "It's a good day to die," and that valiant people lay their lives on the line for others, all over the world, every day. So what is that? Obviously, sometimes virtue calls us to want to preserve something besides our own selves.

"There is no greater love than this, that a man would lay down his life for a friend."

I think about that and it tells me that some things are more precious than life, and that's okay. That's actually fine. And maybe the category is broader than, "only in instances of war is it okay to deliberately die."

I am not suicidal but I am also not as attached to life as others are. Certain adventurers that we admire, like Amelia Earhardt, weren't so attached to life either.

So it is what it is. I think self-awareness is the critical thing, so I don't will myself toward sickness carelessly.

Thanks for talking with me.

posted April 27, 2012 06:28 AM            

I especially can relate to your feeling of not being as attached to life as some people. While I don't have a death wish, I don't have a 'life wish' either: that is, while I don't wish to die right now, I don't want to live so badly that I would accept any standard of living so long as my heart was beating.

To me, there's a HUGE difference between simply living and being really alive. The former is just existing and having a heartbeat; the latter is enjoying life, savoring it, finding beauty and pleasure in it, having a good quality of life that makes it worthwhile. I see no point in the former and every point in the latter.

That's not to say that I mean an extremely high quality of life is the only kind acceptable--I'm not talking about having extreme wealth or possessions. I simply mean having good health, having a place to live, being warm and safe, having food to eat, having people around that love you, having things that you like doing, having a purpose, etc.

Simply breathing and having a heartbeat isn't enough, in my opinion. That's not really experiencing life. That's subsisting.

posted April 27, 2012 08:15 AM            

Maybe I could have just been succinct and said I want to live free or die. And I mean that.

You're a great writer.

posted April 27, 2012 08:26 AM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
coming for to carry me home."

Sometimes when everything really sucks,like I'm reading horrible stuff on the news, I find myself thinking, "Well at least I get to die someday and it'll be better there."

It's just occurring to me that I might be thinking this a little too much anymore. Romanticizing death or something.

Does anyone else have this tendency, can you relate?

I wonder if it's a normal thing, and everyone does this, or if I have some kind of escapist tendency or subconscious death wish or something. If so I'd like to fix the problem but am having trouble pinpointing it. Could just be my 8H Pisces moon.

(Rewrote this, edited it a few times trying to phrase the question right. Sorry if it's still too ambiguous.)

---

You know most of the songs I link here on LL have these subjects in them.

They are not for romanticizing, they are to remind me that I physically do not have a large amount of time to be a human.

Death seems to come quick once you are grown and finally understand the world, a person is almost too feeble to do things by this point. (seems like a cruel joke sometimes)

(It may be a part of your subconscious mind bubbling up to remind you of that fact also.)

Does it bother you that entire lifetimes go by like seconds going by on a clock, sometimes even shorter?

posted April 28, 2012 10:24 PM            

Losing your dad at 21 is horrible!

I know a woman who lost her dad when she was in her 60's and was coming undone because of it.

I don't dream about my dad. In a vague way, I feel like he's right with me all the time. This could be wishful thinking but since I enjoy it, no way would I stop.

posted April 29, 2012 10:28 AM            

I had an asteriod reading on the asteroid forum cause I am so captivated with death.

I am far from afraid of it, welcome it when it comes, and really, I think it is just as, if not more natural than life.

I was watching some beyond death show the otherday, the lady stated that when she had her near death experience, and was looking back it seemed like an illusion, just like death seems to alot of living folks.

I will always remember what she said, as far as matter, it goes away, but something in us keeps going on.

I see death in my profession all of the time. We cant run from it, thanks to some traditional religions we are taught to be very good or be afraid of it.

Sad, we have to tourture some so much. The Catholics in my comminity cant leave one to die unless last right have been administered. Sad again, one cant think he/she can just die without some, eaqually, individual uttering some words.

I respect death as I respect life. Bring it on,, when it is my time...

posted April 30, 2012 08:29 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hippichick:
I respect death as I respect life.

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posted May 01, 2012 10:18 AM            

Thanks for you comment!

Venus mentioned this on another thread: since I have children I HAVE to stick around.

And I love them so much! But when things seem so hopeless and horrific I do like to think about a better place.

posted May 01, 2012 07:08 PM            

But I am still ready and my kids know this about me.

They know my wishes etc.

posted May 02, 2012 11:19 AM            

My mom died when I was 14 as I said, and I think she needed to go. She didn't KNOW that, she was very angry to have cancer and unwilling to yield to it. But as I see it, she had just had enough. She did some mighty fine things and earned her reward.

And I have been alright without her.

My children also know about our "fallout plan." I make sure they know that if any of us dies, we will meet again on the other side. I tell them that I am positive there is an afterlife, so they don't have to worry about us being separated. Nothing can get in the way of us being reunited...that is what I believe, after seeing dying people talking to dead relatives...so that's what I tell my children.

Also I feel that I have some kind of guardian angel because I've come close to death many times but survived. I was driving and hit by a Mack truck, and my car was destroyed but I didn't have a scratch on me.

So maybe I could be a guardian angel to my children too if I die.

Not that I am trying to push ahead to that point...I am just trying to see the positive no matter what.

Cheers