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Author Topic:   A Letter to Dr. Laura - And a Response
Aquacheeka
Knowflake

Posts: 1101
From: Toronto, Canada
Registered: Mar 2012

posted May 06, 2012 09:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aquacheeka     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim


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Aquacheeka
Knowflake

Posts: 1101
From: Toronto, Canada
Registered: Mar 2012

posted May 06, 2012 09:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aquacheeka     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Religious people are good for lulz

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RegardesPlatero
Moderator

Posts: 2639
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted May 07, 2012 07:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
that's brilliant

I find it interesting that some people use Leviticus as an excuse to hate the gays, yet they pretty much break/don't follow every other rule and custom in that book.

Jesus never even mentioned being gay/homosexuality. If it was really that big of a deal, wouldn't Jesus have brought it up at some point? One would think so.

To my recollection, too, didn't Jesus say something about customs not being so important as what's in your heart/that loving God is more important than customs? Granted, me saying this is a bit hypocritical because I like my stained glass windows, incense, etc., but I seem to recall that.

Here it is--Matthew 12 (KJV):
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+12&version=KJV

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 18061
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 07, 2012 03:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Jesus never spoke out against slavery, although He did mention to be kind to one's slaves.

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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juniperb
Moderator

Posts: 3976
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 09, 2012 08:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for juniperb     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I read that somewhere around here before and it always provides a good laugh

Jesus never needed to mention anything that was already stated in the O.T.

He explains his position as thus:

Mat 5:17 Do not suppose that I came to throw down the law or the prophets -- I did not come to throw down (change), but to fulfill;



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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~Rumi~

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