posted March 01, 2013 08:07 AM            

Thanks, Venus!

posted March 01, 2013 05:36 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 01, 2013 05:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by juniperb:
I will volunteer and would enjoy Lexx`s company here

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posted March 01, 2013 07:26 PM            

Seriously though...Juni and Padre would do a great job.

But I would like to nominate PixieJane. She's one of the smartest people here, and she isn't a mod yet. Plus, she is a Libra...need I say more??

posted March 01, 2013 08:03 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 02, 2013 07:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
Fighting is not fun nor productive.

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Obviously Venus was not being totally serious, or she wouldn't have used the laughing emoticon.

Obviously I was joking, I wrote "LOL." Followed by "Seriously though..." which reinforced the fact that I wasn't being serious before that.

Why is that hard to understand? Why choose to ignore my cues that I was kidding, and instead post and ?

posted March 02, 2013 02:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by juniperb:
I have a post missing

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posted March 02, 2013 03:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
I do NOT know you or Venus well enough to grasp your trains of thought in the "kidding"
department.

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Lexx,

I'm sorry that humor may offend you, strike you as deceitful/lying, but it's a way that people communicate, and it's usually not done with malicious intent.

Here's what I'm confused about:

If you don't understand humor, why do you even comment on an exchange where there are obvious signs (like LOL, , and ) that humor is being used?

If two people are speaking a language I don't understand, I can at least recognize that it's a foreign language. And if one person mentions a phrase that sounds like English, I won't assume it was English and comment. I might ask for clarification, however.

In your case, when people are apparently joking, why not ask for clarification before commenting? When you ignore the humor cues, take the words at face value, and express disapproval, it can set people on edge.

Maybe there's a better way to seek understanding?

In this case, if it was your intention to engage us in discussion, I wish you had asked something like, "Are you serious? What's so good about fighting?" before the and which struck me as contentious.

If you asked, I could have told you that I know fighting is usually NOT fun, but in some cases I derive (admittedly base) satisfaction from airing out my frustrations with someone. It's a trade-off: there is the stress of the argument, along with the strange pleasure of being direct and perhaps accelerating the rate of communication exchange, since the "impediments" of customary restraint are removed.

My laughter here was somewhat self-deprecating, to offset the heaviness that might accompany an admission that I sometimes do enjoy arguments. But fighting is an extremely varied phenomenon, and it would be absurd for me to try and specify all the various instances when it is and isn't fun. So my "LOL" was also to signify all that complexity.

I hope my explanation there made sense.

You are a great person, and I didn't mean to insult you. If I thought being argumentative was a terrible thing...I would stop being argumentative myself.

My own preference is to be around people who are nice but capable of argumentation, as I think some blunt and potentially controversial honesty is part of any genuine relationship. Otherwise all you have is stifled, shallow politeness.

posted March 02, 2013 06:53 PM            

I notice there are times when you are able to joke around and other times when you take things extremely literally and don't seem to see the humor or intentional lighhearteness in something.

So, maybe these people arent trying to be mean, or start fights, but their humor just differs from yours. Most of the time, I don't think anyone here is trying to be malicious or mean-spirited. I agree with what Faith said about finding it healthy and positively challenging to be able to discuss things with people (especially controversial) - disagree with them, even passionately, but still remain friends and be polite about it.

I've kept that in mind about you since you said it a long time ago. TBH, I have notice you have quite a good sense of humor most of the time.

You have also been under a lot of stress, so that doesnt help ones outlook either and can contribute to making one more touchy than normal.

posted March 02, 2013 07:06 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 02, 2013 07:18 PM            

And Ami;
stop trying to analyze me.
Your opinions of me are not welcome madame.

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Yes, disassociation can make you not understand humor, emotionally.

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