posted March 25, 2013 03:47 PM            

A place nearby we both hang out at put in a "new" bar made of white pine boards. Without really realizing it we both took a magic marker and wrote on the bar thinking it would be sanded down and poly urethaned anyway

Huge mistake, an employee who is a friend of both or ours said "...you should not have done that.."

At the time it seemed just fun..huge error, woke up the next day and determined to fix the damage we both had done.

Talked with the bar owner and he just smiled, and said.."here is some sand paper.."

So sand we did..for 2 hours..we sanded every bit of writing we both had done. He wound up buying me a shorty beer and was really impressed that not only did we both own up to it, but that we were also willing to make amends.

This to me, is the point of penance, it's not punishment, it is a chance to fix your mistakes..something the world rarely offers.

In life when you make a mistake there a couple of ways to handle it:

-It never happened
-It happened and you apologize (nothing weighs less than an apology btw)
-You take responsibility for it, and then fix the mistake

posted March 25, 2013 08:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
It takes two, though. The bar owner was agreeable to you making amends. What if he decided, instead, to escalate matters, and never let you have peace?

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That was a possibility, the place is close to home and I know most of the folks who work there really well..it would have been both bad and good to be banned.

Fun stuff, sort of like the Karate Kid and "show me sand the floor"..he just smiled, and handed my the sand paper and bought a short pint for me whilst I sanded.

posted March 25, 2013 09:03 PM            

You can wrong someone who would repay your confessed misdeed with another. You can become terribly vulnerable, and I think it's not always wise to seek forgiveness straightforwardly.

I think penance is a tricky thing.

I grew up Catholic and despised the confessional, hated everything about it. Years after I left that church, for a while I thought it was sufficient to ask God's forgiveness for things I felt were wrong...then I stopped seeing God as someone to converse with.

Still, the idea of having redemption and forgiveness from a cosmic source appeals to me. I just have no method of tapping into that.

posted March 25, 2013 09:21 PM            

I'd guess my point is, when someone legiitmately apologizes and offers to atone, then perhaps it should be accepted as they acknowledged they made a mistake and are owning it.

posted March 27, 2013 09:24 PM            

I am not saying you don't rectify things you have done wrong but Jesus died for all our weaknesses, mistakes, errors and failings. When you are Born Again, you are clean and clear in God's sights, as if you never did anything wrong. That is the Gospel in 2 sentences

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 27, 2013 09:32 PM            

quote:

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I'd guess my point is, when someone legiitmately apologizes and offers to atone, then perhaps it should be accepted as they acknowledged they made a mistake and are owning it.

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I agree with this. Owning the misdeed is a large part in understanding how/why is was a misdeed. Then one can move forward, apologize and atone.

posted March 28, 2013 05:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
It takes two, though. The bar owner was agreeable to you making amends. What if he decided, instead, to escalate matters, and never let you have peace?

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I think that if he wanted to escalate matters then you areto apologize and show regret and the will to amend the wrongdoing.

The very fact you were willing to do this shows you are worthy of being forgiven even if he rejects you, as you are to live with the burden of forcing one to feel hate and disappointment for no good reason which seems pretty similiar to the "old israel" punishment in a way (probabl much lighter) and by it you can feel that you have done all in your possiblity (without risking any more wrongdoingd by trying to force amends) and have peace.