posted April 01, 2013 01:04 PM            

Ways to Say Eff You
By amiann | Published: April 1, 2013

I have a journey in healing that I never wanted. I did not want to go into a numbing depression as a young teen. I did not want to be numb until now, when I am coming out of it. Nonetheless, I am on a new rung of healing which is what brings me to my article.

If you interact in the world, at any level, you have a plethora of people trying to pull you down. The reasons could be varied from their own pain to outright jealousy to simple human nature . However, if you don’t learn to rise up and repel them, you are going to be road kill. Some people are so hard bitten that they do this too much. I knew someone who was a multi- multi millionaire. He did everything “right” as far as worldly success. He never let anyone take advantage of him, but his life was a failure . The key is balance but many people do not know how to stand up. This article is for them.

Sometimes, I laugh at myself at the MANY ways that a Gemini can say Eff you. We have a great sense of humor. That is one of our strongest points. However, everyone has to find his own kind of armor. Mine is my humor. I would love for people to write and tell me theirs.

Back to the subject. It took me decades and thousands of mistakes to realize that I was not imagining the many people trying to tear me down. I blamed myself for other people’s reactions to me. I am sure I am not alone in this. Abuse will do this to you. You have a learned helplessness. You lose your personal power. You become road kill, to make a simple analogy. Once a child is stripped of his personal power, he is going to have to struggle mightily to get it back. That is the struggle to which I am referring.

You have to have your own unique ways to say eff you. They cannot be violent, for a number of reasons. First, you will be thrown in jail. Second, they don’t work. The Bible does not tell us to be weak. It tells us to be meek. These are very different. Weak is road kill. Meek is humble. Humility is knowing one’s right size. If you are talented and talk about it, you are humble. Humility is knowing oneself. Authenticity is sharing oneself. Both are in short shrift in our society. Both are greatly appreciated by people.

If one has a PD( Personality Disorder), one has an out of size ego. The ego could be too small, which is usually the case. Sometimes, the ego is aggrandized. These are opposite sides of the same coin. They may look very different, but they are very much the same in that the ego is greatly out of balance. I do not think a person can help having s a PD. It is usually from abuse.

However, to the person who has a shriveled up ego, he needs to learn how to repel people who hurt him. That is the reason for this article, again. I hope to offer solutions. If you have read to the bottom of this article hoping for a solution, I hope you will not be disappointed when I go back to God. I only have my own journey to share and that is a journey with God at the core. People have helped me. I have had wonderful mentors and some have been from strange out of the way places. If that person is reading, he will know what I mean. God sends our mentors. When we get better, we mentor others. That is God’s economy. However, the mentors would not have worked if I did not have God at the core.

God gives a strength that the world cannot give. One will worship something, as we were made to worship something. If it is not God, it may be oneself. It may be riches. It may be beauty. It may be intellect. However, the only thing that will not leave you empty is God. If you worship money, you may have a wonderful life on this earth, but there will be an inner emptiness. I have many friends like this. I know many very successful people and good people, too. However, in all of them is an inner core which is confused and pained. This is simply the case because God is the only right puzzle piece to fill that void.

I am going to offer a solution which will disappoint many. I am sorry, in advance, for this but I wish there were a pill or an exercise or an easy way to learn to come out of abuse. If there were, I would have found it. The Bible shows us the way out of this, as well as the solutions for our other situations. The reason is that it’s owner created us. If you don’t know God, He knows you. He wants you to discover Him. He is calling you.

The Bible is called a seed in many of the parables. I have a garden and so the references make more sense. The seed has all it needs inherent in it. The soil may vary and hence the seed may not grow. The seed is the Bible and the soil is us. God uses simple agrarian metaphors. The Bible was meant for the average man, not the Biblical scholar. To apply this example to healing, if one takes the Bible and reads or listens by CD, one will bloom. It will happen. It is a natural law, just as the seed will blossom in the earth. The right soil is a humble heart who has come to the end of itself. Abuse will do that to you. You, usually, will hit a bottom. That bottom can be the bottom rung on the ladder to which you climb to the top. I hope you take this climb with me. Everything I write about, I have gone through or am going through. I think you know that.

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