posted January 21, 2014 12:39 PM            

I personally come from a Muslim family. I realized it wasn't the religion for me when I was 13, and now I'm 17 with no official label really. I have a lot of Buddhist influence (maybe I'll take it more seriously when I am older), I guess if I had to label myself I'd say I'm a Buddhist influenced, secular-humanist non-conformist *deep exhale*.

posted January 21, 2014 12:42 PM            

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Originally posted by Anisa:
What did you grow up to believe/believe today? I always found religion/philosophy so interesting, so I just wanted to know what religious background you all come from. Or if you don't follow a religion, elaborate on your lifestyle.

I personally come from a Muslim family. I realized it wasn't the religion for me when I was 13, and now I'm 17 with no official label really. I have a lot of Buddhist influence (maybe I'll take it more seriously when I am older), I guess if I had to label myself I'd say I'm a Buddhist influenced, secular-humanist non-conformist *deep exhale*.

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posted January 21, 2014 06:40 PM            

My extended family (on both sides of the family) is Southern Baptist of varying degrees of piety, some who try to be a good Christians and others who only open the Bible to find someone's name, birthday, and phone number (as it's written in the front) and perhaps even only go to church to help their business. My Granny is a Christian but she has a "hippie spirituality" about it and thinks what Christ said about the "hypocrites and Pharisees" now apply to most churches, including in her area (so she doesn't go to church at all, but she's actually more Christian than many who do). Mom and Dad both rejected the churches as a bunch of hypocrites and with some hostility, and therefore I was lucky IMO by not having Bible Belt religion shoved down my throat growing up. Both Mom and Dad did go through a phase of trying to be Christian and tried to drag me to church when they did but I'd appeal to the other parent who wasn't so inclined at the moment who kept me out.

But when I was 13 Granny (whom I was living with) took me to the Baptist church everyone else in the family went to (and most popular church in town), in part as she thought it might be healing for me given some recent trauma but also because life in such a small, rural East Texas town pretty much required membership in a local church and thus hoped this would help me make friends and acceptance I otherwise wouldn't get. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out the way she hoped, and also found out too late (as she didn't go herself) that he was a hellfire and brimstone preacher who loved to glare at new people who show up, especially kids (some people love that, like masochists). I sat beside Granny wondering why he kept rudely glaring at me and shouting about sinful kids when I was being on my best behavior all prettied up by Granny (including gingham dress Granny had me wear when I almost never wore dresses). I was patient for awhile but as he continued glaring at me while spitting out his fiery sermon I became offended by his rudeness and so grabbed some gummi worms from Granny's purse to chew them up and then stick my tongue out with the chewed up candy worms on them thinking (with the logic of a 13-year-old) that he'd be so disgusted that he'd glare at someone else instead of me.

It didn't work. Instead he acted like he was about having a stroke as he ranted more, I saw people in pews ahead of me turn their head at me and then SMACK! Down came Granny's hand on my leg and I swallowed the gummi worms.

As service let out Granny hurried me to her car but the preacher (who must've taken another door and RAN to catch us) cut us off demanding to know who I was. Granny tried to appeal to his compassionate side by explaining the horrid divorce of my parents (both who grew up in that same town but currently living on the outskirts of Houston) and that I was staying with Granny while that sorted itself out. The preacher was mean to me saying the town didn't accept "punks from the big city" (and btw, not only was I in my Sunday best but I had delayed puberty so I looked like a little girl more than a teenager) and how he wasn't going to let me "corrupt this town" with my "big city ways." I asked him if he knew how boring he was which got him into acting like he was about to go into a seizure so Granny dragged me away and he let us go that time. In the car ride home Granny scolded me hard on my impudence and explained why church membership was important, though at one point she said, "But you're 13, what's his excuse? Man of God, my ass." I was very careful not to let her see me smile at that.

And it's true that my behavior cost me in that town, but it also impressed some kids who had to see the girl who talked back to the most popular preacher in town (and some would say most powerful man there) so that I ended up having plenty of friends. They were outcasts like me but they were also a lot more interesting, IMO, some of them idealists who were actually more spiritual and loving and Christian than the churches they despised (others just despised any and all religion). Meanwhile, those who fell in line with the churches (including some adults) spread horrible rumors about me including bearing of false witness (apparently their religion is okay with that) with absurd rumors of me being with devil worshipers (this was mid-90s with the Satanic Panics still lingering in the Bible Belt). One boy, a little older than me, asked me on the bus if I really worshiped the Devil and I said, "Yes, and I cast spells, so shut up." He did, never talking to me again, and he probably mistook my laughing at his reaction and gullibility as the laughter of the "wicked witch" and my cousin and friends thought it was hilarious, too, though older relatives told me to stop adding fuel to the fire.

And that town was the first one I ever went to a keg party (despite it being a dry county which means it's illegal to sell alcohol there, and it also got raided by deputies but that was considered the highlight of the party), smoked pot and did shrooms (to be explained more later!) for the first time (and refused other drugs offered to me), saw porn and fired a gun for the first time (with a pistol "borrowed" from a boy's father without asking who wanted to impress me by teaching me how to shoot which was quite reckless), and experimented more sexually than ever before, so I can't help but wonder what the preacher was thinking when he said he was worried about me corrupting them.

posted January 21, 2014 11:24 PM            

I thought back then, "Why do I hate school?" And the shrooms showed me (via memories and imparting wordless concepts) how school was "too slow" for me, I wasn't supposed to talk and technically I wasn't even supposed to read or write (though most teachers made an exception for me as they found it made their jobs easier if I didn't get so bored...and worse, THINK about the subject and ask questions they couldn't--or wouldn't dare--answer), in short school was PREVENTING me from learning, like a mental ball & chain. (About 2 years later I'd be put through a bunch of tests and I was tested as being college level at everything save math, and that was after all school had done to hold me back). And therefore I hated school because it was preventing me from learning at my own pace.

Moving on, I think the shrooms played a part in my experiencing a Scandinavian goddess several months later (not to say therefore it wasn't real). Very brief, I was a runaway with too little sleep & food (which meant my fat was melting which probably released some of the shrooms stored there into my system) and my best friend whom I was trying to help save had died. I was going to suicide to be with her when a man held me down, and I suppose from his perspective I cried myself to sleep in his grip, but from my perspective I "woke up" in a giant virgin wilderness (this was VIVID, colors and texture far more intense than the everyday world) where I heard wordless singing and realized my very being was adding to that, my vibration a musical tune so to speak. I flew to an epic world tree that dwarfed even the giant trees around me and there I spoke the only word I did in the entire vision: "Yggdrasil!"

It was then I "woke up" yet again, this time with the goddess Freya (I could explain this in some detail, but it's beside the point, and there aren't words in my vocabulary that can describe all of it) where Freya and I sang to each other, no words and yet I understood, so similar to when I had that mental communion with the shrooms. Very short and sweet She "told" me She Sang me into Existence to one day stand beside Her against Ragnarok and I must not now break, I had to be tempered, to grow up, and furthermore I wasn't to seek to "reenter the womb like so many others seeking to be eternal children" but to "become an adult" so I could stand by Her side.

And then I came to yet again, back in this world (the real one?) only now I was absolutely exhausted...still, I was no longer suicidal.

I knew almost nothing of Scandinavian gods at the time, though one side of the family is mostly Swedish...and even my father from the other side was descended from Clan Cochrane which were originally Vikings who seized land in Scotland before settling in (and of course Vikings raped many Scots-Irish so the rest of that side of the family probably carried a bit of its own Scandinavian blood), and maybe that was a big reason why I experienced it...but I wasn't the only one, I'd find out many had been having similar visions for decades, what one called "a wind through the World Tree," and nearly all were of Scandinavian descent. This would get me close to Asatru for a little while which I'll explain later.

I found out years later that at about the same time of my experience with Freya Granny had awakened from a terrible nightmare of me choking to death which she felt was too real so that when she woke up she prayed for me...and as best as I can figure it it was real close, and perhaps exactly, when I had the vision of Freya. This makes me think she also played a part in that experience (she's of my Swedish side of the family, btw), which is to say I think had she not prayed for me then I might not have experienced Freya (despite that she prayed as a Christian). But as I didn't trust Christianity due to how it treated me and I couldn't survive as Job or otherwise "trusting a Daddy in the sky" that would not work for me nor could I embrace it, but Freya is exactly who/what I needed (I do wonder if I'd instead come from a family of Greeks if I'd have seen Artemis instead...). I also loved how she responded to me when I asked if she'd visit me in my heaven (since the Christian heaven is much more exclusive, "members only") and she laughed saying, "You'll see your trappings and I'll see mine, but we'll still be together and love each other."

posted January 22, 2014 01:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Anisa:
What did you grow up to believe/believe today? I always found religion/philosophy so interesting, so I just wanted to know what religious background you all come from. Or if you don't follow a religion, elaborate on your lifestyle.

I personally come from a Muslim family. I realized it wasn't the religion for me when I was 13, and now I'm 17 with no official label really. I have a lot of Buddhist influence (maybe I'll take it more seriously when I am older), I guess if I had to label myself I'd say I'm a Buddhist influenced, secular-humanist non-conformist *deep exhale*.

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funny you say that. I was born christian, and if anything I find Islam to be an interesting religion. Very interesting actually. I mean why it's opposed and attacked the most? this alone sparks curiosity.
Now I'm at the cross road where I'm heavily reflecting to find the right thing and hopefully I would find it and stick to it.

posted January 22, 2014 10:36 AM            

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Originally posted by vickymadness:
funny you say that. I was born christian, and if anything I find Islam to be an interesting religion. Very interesting actually. I mean why it's opposed and attacked the most? this alone sparks curiosity.
Now I'm at the cross road where I'm heavily reflecting to find the right thing and hopefully I would find it and stick to it.

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posted January 22, 2014 03:08 PM            

Of course the Church of the Starry Wisdom has always held my interest to a Preternatural degree as well.

I continue to Evolve and Expand upon intricacies of an almost otherworldly nature as a daily exercise.

The Microcosm is a major focus in these studies, as is Cellular Transmographication and of course the Daily Clockwork Motion that unfolds itself within, without and round about.

posted January 22, 2014 11:59 PM            

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Originally posted by Anisa:
Holy smokes pixiejane, you must love to write. but very interesting background. I really want to try shrooms but I wanna thoroughly do my research on it first. Is that the only psychedelic you've tripped? I'll be waiting for your next post.

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The important thing about shrooms (and most other psychedelics) is that it depends on mood and atmosphere. If you're scared then it will probably be a lot worse than it would otherwise be. I hear there's some B vitamin that can stop a really bad trip but I don't know how true it is (if I wanted to go that route I think I'd take it BEFORE tripping). You'll be sensitive to the "vibe" around you so it's important to try to have it set up for how you want it, including any company you keep (I'd suggest you not do it alone the first time, but better alone than with someone negative or paranoid).

I read of people who got sick off some shrooms thought to be edible, they had to go to the emergency ward. Those who love to trip on shrooms read it in the papers and called all their friends who recognized the symptoms and ate the same shrooms, more than those who went to the emergency room, and enjoyed themselves.

And a warning about shrooms: some ate them raw and apparently it can make it seem like your heart stops (I don't think this happens if you make tea out of it). One guy fell down and then came to panicking saying he felt it stop and the others laughed apparently familiar with that with one saying, "Feels like forever, doesn't it?"

On a minor note, EVERYTHING can be hilarious. We watched a movie repeatedly that made me cry from laughing so hard but when I tried to watch it sober it was one of the most idiotic movies I ever saw, I couldn't stand to watch it. Much more inconveniently, a few days later in school I had a mini-flashback IN CLASS where I giggled helplessly at my desk...I buried my face in my arms on my desk but my intense giggle fit still disrupted the class. Luckily the teacher decide to let it slide when I wouldn't comment (probably scared I was laughing over something she'd just said and they learned it was best if I didn't comment on the lesson at all), though interesting enough many in the class recognized my giggle fit as mushroom inspired (showing once again that the preacher had it wrong saying my presence would corrupt the town). I think it lasted about 5 minutes...quite pleasant otherwise, I'd have enjoyed it immensely had I been outside or alone with friends instead of at school.

My trip was bizarre, but more good than bad and I think my life is better for it (heck, I think I'm alive because of it) though I've chosen not to be a psychonaught as future experience (and observation of others who walked that path) made me believe that it held diminishing returns that harmed more than helped. That said, you can feel the most incredible, pleasurable union with God/dess through them, as described here:
http://youtu.be/6wCny06tFfs?t=2m37s

posted February 14, 2014 02:58 PM            

I grew up a christian, although that really wasn't my parents fault. They always refused to tell me what their beliefs were and told me to make up my own opinion. As it turned out my father is christian and my mother believes in reincarnation.

posted February 14, 2014 11:08 PM            

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Originally posted by Jo B:
I was christened as a baby (Church of England) but I'm now firmly atheist. I sort of considered philosophical taoism for a while and am deeply inspired my Far Eastern philosophies and practices generally, but yes, it's atheism really for me. I think organized religion is the cause of most of the problems in this world.

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