posted April 14, 2014 04:28 PM            

quote:

---

Symptoms of Religious Trauma Syndrome:

• Cognitive: Confusion, poor critical thinking ability, negative beliefs about self-ability & self-worth, black & white thinking, perfectionism, difficulty with decision-making

• Emotional: Depression, anxiety, anger, grief, loneliness, difficulty with pleasure, loss of meaning

• Social: Loss of social network, family rupture, social awkwardness, sexual difficulty, behind schedule on developmental tasks

• Cultural: Unfamiliarity with secular world; “fish out of water” feelings, difficulty belonging, information gaps (e.g. evolution, modern art, music)

Causes of Religious Trauma Syndrome:

Authoritarianism coupled with toxic theology which is received and reinforced at church, school, and home results in:

• Suppression of normal child development - cognitive, social, emotional, moral stages are arrested

• Damage to normal thinking and feeling abilities -information is limited and controlled; dysfunctional beliefs taught; independent thinking condemned; feelings condemned

• External locus of control – knowledge is revealed, not discovered; hierarchy of authority enforced; self not a reliable or good source

• Physical and sexual abuse – patriarchal power; unhealthy sexual views; punishment used as for discipline

Cycle of Abuse

The doctrines of original sin and eternal damnation cause the most psychological distress by creating the ultimate double bind. You are guilty and responsible, and face eternal punishment. Yet you have no ability to do anything about it.

You must conform to a mental test of “believing” in an external, unseen source for salvation, and maintain this state of belief until death. You cannot ever stop sinning altogether, so you must continue to confess and be forgiven, hoping that you have met the criteria despite complete lack of feedback about whether you will actually make it to heaven.[/b]

---

posted April 14, 2014 05:54 PM            

I was in a special class (for kids with behavior problems) in which one acted out due to being abused by his mom and her Pentecostal church. What was really outrageous was her mom called her church to exorcise her 12-year-old because she was "getting breasts too fast." They literally tied her up and the pastor or whatever sat on top of her grabbing her boobs commanding the demons out in the name of Jesus as her mother watched praying. I'd like to say it doesn't get more messed up than that but it does, it gets much worse. Oh, and that girl was always running away but of course the mother blamed it on demons and secular culture rather than the abuse she and her church inflicted on that girl (and same for the boy).

Here's a piece of a sermon to make you cringe with commentary by the Young Turks:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gjm7W-hDLc

Then there was Tempest Smith driven to suicide by Christian bullying of her that the teachers approved of (no doubt hoping she'd turn Christian for her own good):
http://wildhunt.org/2013/11/tempest-smith-foundation-closes-its-doors.html

quote:

---

At this point, the bullying began to refocus on Tempest’s interest in Paganism. Annette remembers one occasion where her daughter came running home from school with her face and body beaten and slashed. Taking matters into her own hands, Annette grabbed Tempest and returned to the school. She directly confronted the girl who had done this to her daughter.

But the problems persisted. Later that year, a group of girls encircled Tempest in a hallway, called her a witch and chanted “Jesus loves you.” A teacher saw this happening and did nothing to stop it. When Denessa and Annette confronted this teacher, she called Tempest “a cry baby.” The distressed mothers did all they could. Even with that they were unaware of how deeply Tempest was experiencing this pain. The women never expected what was to come.

Early one cold February morning Tempest ate breakfast and then went back to her room to finish getting ready for school. When it was time to leave, Annette called her downstairs. Tempest didn’t respond. After a few minutes, Annette went upstairs to get her. She was not prepared for what was behind the closed door. Tempest had hung herself

---

But at least many of the kids who tormented her felt horrible and helped with the Foundation after to stop similar bullying...while the Christian adults tried to make the kids not feel bad...just one more reason I tend to laugh cynically when I hear how kids have to be taught to be good people by adults and Christianity when it was the adult Christians who needed to learn that lesson from the kids.

And as for those raised in it...some bear real scars and it's scary, feeling like they're always watched, even hated by some invisible entity in the sky. Some commit suicide over it, and one guy who was stopped said he felt he DESERVED to die and burn eternally for being gay or otherwise God wouldn't have turned him over to being gay.

posted April 14, 2014 06:01 PM            

How can anyone say something so cruel to a child? That is if her mommy doesn't come back, if her mommy dies on heroin, then the little girl thinks "I didn't pray hard enough." IOW, the child is made to feel responsible for what the adult does rather than the other way around when she has NO power over it. (That also ignores the idea "freewill" many like to throw around by saying "it's up to you child, if you pray hard enough God will MAKE them all better and you'll get the loving home you want.")

But people say things like that to children. It's messed up.

posted April 14, 2014 11:46 PM            

quote:

---

Stopping the Cycle of Abuse

You can stop the cycle of abuse, but leaving the faith is a “mixed blessing.” Letting go of the need to conform is a huge relief. There is a sense of freedom, excitement about information and new experiences, new-found self-respect, integrity, and the sense of an emerging identity. ....

There are huge challenges. The psychological damage does not go away overnight. In fact, because the phobia indoctrination in young childhood is so powerful, the fear of hell can last a lifetime despite rational analysis. Likewise the damage to self-esteem and basic self-trust can be crippling. This is why there are so many thousands of walking wounded – people who have left fundamentalist religion and are living with Religious Trauma Syndrome. http://journeyfree.org/rts/

---

Faith...

posted April 15, 2014 09:53 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
What was really outrageous was her mom called her church to exorcise her 12-year-old because she was "getting breasts too fast." They literally tied her up and the pastor or whatever sat on top of her grabbing her boobs commanding the demons out in the name of Jesus as her mother watched praying.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
Here's a piece of a sermon to make you cringe....

---

Sickening. It's sad for me to see how hard-hearted these people are. Like zombies, dead inside. Sadder to think of the children they are preying upon.

I went to YouTube and searched for videos about comforting children who are afraid of hell, and I found nothing, but instead, up came video after video of these a**holes preaching about how many children are burning in hell, encouraging parents to petrify their children with these *INSANE* imaginary threats.

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
Then there was Tempest Smith...

---

She seemed like a very cool person. Kinda reminds me of my impression of how you might've been at a young age, PJ. But you can see agony on her face in that picture, and I have to wonder how on earth her parents could have kept sending her back to that school, when she looked like that. I know sometimes parents feel like they have no choice, they have to keep their job and so on. But I think I would have sooner gone homeless with my daughter than force her to endure school, under those circumstances. I'm not judging, just marveling at the difference in mothering instincts.

School functions like a cult in so many ways, it's one of the worst cults of all, so I think a lot of people come out of school with symptoms like Religious Trauma Syndrome (low feelings of self-worth, feeling like one really is the person they were labeled and branded as, in school.)

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
...while the Christian adults tried to make the kids not feel bad

---

Zombies.

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
...just one more reason I tend to laugh cynically when I hear how kids have to be taught to be good people by adults and Christianity when it was the adult Christians who needed to learn that lesson from the kids.

---

Right. True.

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
That sounds horrific to me...for all the problems I had growing up I feel like I won the million dollar lottery to not have been raised in a fundamentalist household despite being in East Texas (aka "Behind the Pine Curtain" -- a name that some say with pride for being so controlled by the churches).

---

I agree, I think you are SO fortunate to have dodged that bullet and grown up without your mind in these shackles.

You probably know some of my past but for the general audience, if there is one, I grew up in a strict Catholic household, went to Catholic school...tried to be an orthodox Protestant for a while after that...it's just like layer after layer of confusion and brainwashing residue I'm having to break out of still (it's like, encoded in my reflexes to this day.)

Though my past seems almost inevitable, when I consider my chart: 9H Jupiter conjunct Chiron, in a t-square with my sun and Pluto; sun (chart ruler) ruled by and in mutual reception with 12H Saturn.

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
How can anyone say something so cruel to a child? That is if her mommy doesn't come back, if her mommy dies on heroin, then the little girl thinks "I didn't pray hard enough."

---

Even though it's just a movie scene, it's gotta be happening in real life, too. Yeah, it's just stupid people with a ton of baggage, having their say.

Good thing is, children don't always believe everything they are told. I for one never fully trusted anything "imaginary" that people told me about (whether it was religious, or even about Santa Claus...or ghost stories) and if someone told me when I was little, "Just pray and it will happen," I would have known better. I knew prayer didn't work that way. All it took was a little experimentation with prayer to know it was usually futile.

I think Catholicism hit me hardest by just instilling in me this oppressive, suffocating sense of guilt about everything. It was transmitted countless ways, even through the ugly architecture of the churches, where the message felt something like, "You're such a worm, you have to sit in this dreary place for an hour every week, looking at statues of bloody Jesus lugging his cross around and then being crucified."

It was like a horror show, with people demanding I take it seriously and like it.

posted April 15, 2014 10:11 AM            

*edited

Possible theme song for people who've been "through the ringer" with religious trauma...

Take That - Patience

Lyrics:

Just have a little patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration
Any minute all the pain will stop.

Just hold me close inside your arms tonight
Don't be too hard on my emotions.

[Chorus:]
'Cause I
Need time
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little patience.

I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend.

I'll try to be strong
Believe me I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me.

[Chorus]

'Cause the scars run so deep
It's been hard but I have to believe
Just have a little patience [x2]

[Chorus]

Have a little patience
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience

posted April 16, 2014 02:14 AM            

Some still have nightmares over it years later. And it gets worse than that, such as described here:
http://www.teenliberty.org/An_American_GULAG.htm

I knew a girl sent to such a place after her dad read in her diary of her interest in learning more about Wicca. I don't know what they did to her but when she came back months later she thought I and others were part of a satanic cult and glad her dad had secretly read her diary to send her to whatever hell he'd sent her to. They really messed up her mind. It's frightening. And legal (though ironically these gulags can get away with abuse that could land the parents in prison if they did it themselves rather than paying an "expert" to do it for them).

I got locked up in a gulag myself when I was 13, but it wasn't religious, it was pure mercenary psychiatry. And there aren't words to describe the horror and despair I felt when I realized they were going to win, everything I was would be rewritten and there was nothing I could do about it. Seriously, I got out on pure luck (after failing a serious attempt to escape and then I was drugged so bad I couldn't even eat without food falling out of my mouth) because when my dad's insurance was up the hospital computer automatically sent out a form letter saying I was better, time to pick me up, which was egg on their face when Mom showed up unexpectedly (having gotten the letter and having it in hand) to get me only to realize I was in the Isolations building still being brutally broken...and the doctor on my case couldn't be immediately reached (I think she may have been on vacation as I don't recall her showing up for awhile--though I was so drugged that time had very little meaning).

Mom was too stupid to realize what happened (she'd kick herself if she ever realized she lost a chance to sue) and after I tried to explain--while still badly drugged so I was babbling, even for a traumatized 13-year-old--she was just baffled and said maybe she should take me back and I instantly shut up at that thought...and never brought it up again.

But after the hospital got shut down for awhile (mainly over insurance fraud) and then reopened I saw a commercial on TV when I was 16 to send kids there and I had to go outside and keep walking or I'd have kicked in the TV screen in my rage--LITERALLY. I actually contemplated becoming a vigilante killer against anyone who worked there. And when I saw the scene with Picard raging over the Borg I felt my own self fill with an electric rage as I remembered my own experience:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeGMHbK4NlA

posted April 16, 2014 08:43 AM            

Reminds me a bit of The Dozier School.

Just in the way it systematically tormented the children while promising to do the opposite. Just....unthinkable.

---

Quoting from the CNN transcrpit:

quote:

---

The Hepsava House is a self-described fundamentalist Baptist boarding school and church for adolescent girls. The allegations are so disturbing. We felt we needed a face-to-face meeting with the father or the son in charge. We found the son in a parking lot.

(on camera): We've had a lot of people complained they've been physically, emotionally, mentality abused at your house. Can you give us a comment about that?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I would rather not.

TUCHMAN: Our conversation did not end there. But first let us introduce you to Susan Grotte who is now, 45 but spent two and a half years there starting when she was 15.

SUSAN GROTTE, FORMER HEPZHIBAH HOUSE STUDENT: It was going to be gardening and crafts and singing and just a chance to heal.

TUCHMAN: That's what your parents thought this school was going to be?

GROTTE: That's right.

TUCHMAN: Was it in any way correct?

GROTTE: No, no. I knew that the minute the door shut behind me.

TUCHMAN: On her first day in this house, which was the facility used back then, Susan said she was accused of having a bad attitude while cleaning the ceiling. So two staff women grabbed her and Don William's father administered what she said was known as godly discipline.

GROTTE: This bodily man-handled me to the floor, and he hit me with the board as hard as he could. He's a very big man. I was shocked. I had been paddled my whole life and never been hit like that. TUCHMAN: Me'chelle Dowling is 20 years old. She just got out of the Hephzibah House a few years ago. Her parents thought the strict religious curriculum would make her a better Baptist.

ME'CHELLE DOWLING, FORMER HEPHZIBAH HOUSE STUDENT: They told me that, you know, it would be good for me and I'd make good life changing decisions.

TUCHMAN: Me'Chelle was only 12 and brand new in the house when she says two staff women told her to take off her clothes and forced her into a closet where a man would give what Hephzibah House claims is a medical examination.

DOWLING: They hold both my legs and both my arms down and let him do this to me. Stuck a speculum inside of me, and I was scared. I was screaming. I didn't want him to touch me. There was nothing I could do.

TUCHMAN: Both women talk about being forced to eat a lot of food, sometimes not being given any food, being forced to drink a lot of water. Susan says 28 girls shared three bedrooms on the upper floor of this house. There was one toilet. But --

GROTTE: If I stood up to go to the bathroom, no, you can only go to the bathroom when you're told.

TUCHMAN (on camera): These are big girls you were with?

GROTTE: Right.

TUCHMAN: What would happen if you went to the bathroom without asking?

GROTTE: You would be paddled, yes.

---

---

I just feel like throwing up, reading all this.

Still, I wanted to add that I read a book a few years ago, written by a woman who was part of a class-action suit against the Catholic orphanage where she grew up. It detailed such a horror-filled life, it was kind of like...Dave Peltzer, happening to everyone at once.

Not sure if this was the orphanage or not: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Cashel_Orphanage

quote:

---

Canada's largest sexual abuse scandal, and one of the largest in the world (see below) was disclosed in 1989, resulting in the closure of the facility in 1990 after the last resident was moved to an alternate facility. The property was seized and the site razed and sold for real estate development in the mid-1990s as part of a court settlement ordering financial compensation to the victims.

---

---

Anyway, I am so so sad for you, that you suffered like that. It's amazing that you have recovered so well, but still...

Is that particular torture facility that you went to still open? No peace for the victims until it all comes to light.

posted April 16, 2014 09:05 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
...perfect song, Faith!

---

Thank you, mirage!

posted April 16, 2014 10:41 AM            

And, of course, like this protecting child molesters by making the unofficial policy official:
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlya theist/2014/04/04/new-policy-in-italy-catholic-bishops-not-obligated-to-report-child-sexual-abuse/

It was actually worse, kids who spoke out suffered severe abuse decades ago (An example includes, "The paper says the one confirmed case concerned a boy - Henk Heithuis - who reported being sexually abused by priests to the police in 1956. After giving evidence, he was placed in a Catholic-run psychiatric institution where he was then castrated because of his 'homosexual behaviour'"). And yet they rant against gays.

And just to be clear (as so many don't understand this) it's not that abusers use the church to get at victims, that should actually be expected (same for schools, daycare centers, etc) and countered as best as possible. It's when the church aids and abets them that the church as a whole becomes responsible (the Russian Orthodox gets rid of their child molesters, therefore I don't blame that church for aiding and abetting as I do the Catholic Church, and of course all who give money to the super wealthy Vatican are also aiding and abetting by funding it when they're not required). No other organization would get away with this crap if they didn't do it in the name of Christ (or whatever the dominant religion happens to be).

I know a guy who tried to find a priest who helped him to thank him. The church refused to even give him a phone number. Apparently too scared it was another victim seeking justice!

Oh, and a contact I had in Argentina told me (after I shared about how insane the Christian Right is in America which she asked about, unable to believe the news on what whack jobs we got here in the United States) she said it got bad there in some ways, too. Like a mentally disabled pre-teen girl was excommunicated by the Catholic Church for having an abortion...but her mentally competent uncle (or other relative) who raped the disabled child was not!

posted April 17, 2014 03:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
These laws contribute not only to the abuse (sometimes torture) of kids, but even their deaths as here.

---

Great link, the last line is so very true: Children have no way of protecting themselves. Not really.

Incidentally I had a stark nightmare last night, after delving into this topic yesterday. It's been a long time since I've had a nightmare. The details don't really match the topic, except that I was being captured by the supposed "good guys" and taken someplace against my will, and I knew something sinister was going to happen. It was high-pitch terrifying, and makes me feel like I got a small taste of what's going on.

Anyway...

I was hoping this article would have listed more of the facilities that lost accreditation, but I guess the newspaper has to anticipate lawsuits.

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
And, of course, like this protecting child molesters by making the unofficial policy official:

---

Hmm! The bizarre thing is that this happens so often that people are becoming matter-of-fact about it, like, "Of course the Catholic church has loads of sex predators in power. What's the best way from them to handle the inevitable reports of child abuse?"

Rather than everyone just leaving the church in droves, screaming.

From that link:

quote:

---

American child abuse reporting laws vary from state to state, but at least some states legally require priests, bishops, and other clergy to report suspected sexual abuse. (Find the statutes for your state here.) Failure to adhere to this law, however, doesn’t always lead to the loss of one’s bishopric or one’s status within the Catholic Church. (The case of Bishop Robert Finn, convicted of failure to report yet still serving as bishop, serves as an example.)

---

In my state, members of the clergy are required to report child abuse. I wonder if anyone's got statistics showing less abuse in states where reporting is mandatory? I'll fish around for that later.

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
After giving evidence, he was placed in a Catholic-run psychiatric institution where he was then castrated because of his 'homosexual behaviour'"

---

This is the one thing I liked about Calvinism: they harped on the idea of "total depravity" which I think nicely fits what happened there. That is totally depraved.

I guess the Dutch have a better track record now and are monitoring their large Muslim population to ensure that girls are not being circumcized, which I've imagined must entail a similar level of pain when it's done without painkillers. They were on top of the problem a few years ago:

quote:

---

As has only now come to light, a 29-year-old Moroccan-Dutch father was quietly arrested in October 2008 for the ritual mutilation of his five-year-old daughter's genitals. The Dutch health minister warns however that this is only the tip of the iceberg.
The Haarlem law court in The Netherlands this week extended the Muslim father's incarceration in a police cell until the trial starts, probably in May, said media officer Frances Schlingemann. There were 44 recorded incidents of genital mutilation of female children or threats of such incidents in The Netherlands in 2007/8 - and Dutch health minister Jet Bussemaker fears that this is 'just the tip of the iceberg.'

---

Link

I can't get a simple answer on how things stand now, most links take me to PDF files and I don't have the time or inclination to pore through them right now.

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
all who give money to the super wealthy Vatican are also aiding and abetting by funding it when they're not required

---

Yup.

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
Like a mentally disabled pre-teen girl was excommunicated by the Catholic Church for having an abortion...but her mentally competent uncle (or other relative) who raped the disabled child was not!

---

posted April 17, 2014 04:15 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by 7thGuardian:
Just read the Bible: WORSHIP ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME... OR YOU'LL SUFFER MY WRATH!

---

!!!

So true.

quote:

---

Originally posted by 7thGuardian:
If it wasn't for this traditional habit - there wouldn't be no religions like Christianity today

---

Yeah, fear and custom prevail. I know a lot of people who go to church and baptize their kids, go through the motions, just to keep their relatives off their backs.

quote:

---

Originally posted by 7thGuardian:
I'm the only one in my family who renounced Christianity - which apparently, makes me abnormal/crazy in their eyes (the odd one out). I don't mind that - though, i even see it as a compliment.

---

Same. I'm part of this huge Irish Catholic clan...I really don't care that I am not Catholic anymore, so I'm still confused that it's an issue for them. At funerals and weddings (just about the only times we're together) I'm like, "Oh I forgot! We haven't all turned the page together. You're still waiting for me to say that I was wrong, and start wearing saint medallion necklaces like you people do." LOL

quote:

---

Originally posted by 7thGuardian:
You can find God inside yourselves or if you're like me - you'd see it first in others (though - they won't, it's the way it goes - i guess).

---

Yeah, I'm thinking along similar lines nowadays...

posted April 18, 2014 08:24 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
It doesn't surprise me at all. Maybe she's better off.... I am just so happy to not be Catholic anymore, I can't imagine how excommunication could ever feel bad.

---