posted February 17, 2016 03:36 PM            

I've always been an empath, have done tarot and believed in spirits, etc. Yet I've never found something that really cements me and makes me feel full of spiritual fulfillment. I guess I'm reaching out to lindaland to ask you all what makes you feel spiritually fulfilled? I have my own spirituality, but I feel it's not enough right now.

posted February 17, 2016 05:18 PM            

I know two very strong empaths. Both find it much easier to be spiritual by themselves (or at least in a very small group of trusted people) as too many people interfere with spiritual connections, and they're also prone to being somewhat overridden by those around them (in short, they're prone to being brainwashed, at least for awhile, even when brainwashing isn't being attempted on them, it's just the perspectives--and baggage--of others around them start to override their own).

One empath requires nature and a fair amount of solitude, and he's closer to his animals than any person. He prefers the time cycles of nature than that of a clock (which just makes it that much harder to relate to others). Moon, seasons, in-between places (both time and space), and the like are important and significant to him.

The other seems to be able to center herself anywhere (she's an empath, but the other guy is a genuine psychic, and that might make a difference, or it could be all her air placements). She does have candles and incense that she ONLY uses when meditating, though her meditation can also include reading, Tai Chi, and the like, but it's still alone time.

They both also find the beach (especially when alone) to be a great place to feel part of something larger. That might have something to do with both having a Pisces moon.

posted February 17, 2016 05:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Mergoatsun:
So when I discovered some frightening truths about what my close friend went through and the true evil she experienced I had sort of an awakening

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posted February 17, 2016 07:04 PM            

I recently started digging because something in me was resparked to her story. It didn't take long before I found very conclusive proof that her experiences were fact. At that point my reality kind of got shattered for a bit. I knew evil things happened, I had been abused for gods sakes, and I knew there are evil people in this world. However, I think my brain wanted to preserve the fact that evil is rare and good always trumps evil. A part of me wanted to believe what was done/happened to her was made up by her, because the reality of it actually happening is horrifying. My abusers had light and dark in them, hers were all dark. So with that research confirming everything, I was shaken to the core.

I kinda came to the conclusion that there is evil lurking in this world and wanting to damage people just because. However, my deeply held notion of needing balance made me come to the conclusion that there is also good. I've seen the good, I've seen the bad. I never believed a person could be inherently good until I met someone who showed me otherwise. I believe his purpose is to bring joy, health and knowledge to others. He would never harm anything.

As to experimenting with my own spirituality, I've found that I'm a very big nature person. I do best by water, especially large masses of water. The moon cycles are also important to me because I see how they affect people's behavior, including my own. I also find that lighting candles, and laying in peaceful silence is helpful while I think of "mentally" cleansing my energy and body. I enjoy tarot very much, but I have to be in a certain mood to do it. Water renews me. I've tried pretty much everything when it comes to religion. I would like to say I'm open-minded to a point. The best ones for me was being a pagan, Buddhism and oddly enough Catholicism (I think it was because I was blissfully ignorant at the time, but the community incantations were helpful).

posted February 17, 2016 07:09 PM            

However the old atheist in me thinks that no energy makes a person "evil" or "good" it's all in their body and their conditioning experiences growing up. Also people more like each other are bound to want to spend time with one another. I don't know, I just really want to find meaning but I'm not sure if I can find it in religion or spirituality, maybe I just have to be content in not knowing.

posted February 17, 2016 10:26 PM            

At the moment I can't think of anything to say that would help, so I thought I'd recommend a novel I think you'd very much enjoy, called Bless the Child:
http://www.amazon.com/Bless-Child-Cathy-Cash-Spellman/dp/0615517250

Note, this is the NOVEL, NOT the movie! The movie is not only a very poor remake (with enough differences that had they changed the names of the characters I'd have never connected the movie to the book). I find the movie funny (but I laugh AT it rather than with), though the actors did a really superb job despite the horrid writing (essentially like an infamous Chick tract, save it's pro-Catholic rather than than anti-Catholic).

The message was quite different as well, in the movie it was all about having faith, whereas in the novel the choices the characters make actually matter. Furthermore, a character in the movie tells a little girl that if she prays hard enough then her heroin-addicted mother (who may be dead as far as the woman knows) will return to her, which infuriated me that an adult would tell a child that (which essentially says "YOU are responsible for your mother's behavior, and if she doesn't come back or suffers then you're a terrible child who didn't pray hard enough"), but the novel was different here as well as it has a Mother Superior says the belief that God would answer prayers if prayed hard enough was the "sin of pride" and "doesn't take God's plan into account." In short, ignore the movie, go with the book!

The novel also includes various perspectives from kemetic pagans to Catholics. Btw, in the novel, the primary villain followed an evil Egyptian pagan goddess rather than Satan, and the little girl was sent by Isis rather than God, though the gods (both good and evil) didn't ultimately care what religion the people were who were caught in between their game here, and Maggie the Catholic was known to Isis as having been a servant of hers in a previous life and essentially still considered her one (while Maggie's Christian faith also continued to support her).

I don't believe in a global conspiracy of demon worshipers (which is not to say I don't believe such cults exists--I know they do), but if I did then they'd be as described in that novel, which I mention as how well they described the "dark side" of mysticism and global conspiracies of the wealthy and powerful aligned with evil spiritual entities, and unlike the silly movie the novel made me think "Yes, I could see it working out that way." I say that in terms of both social and geopolitical ramifications, and also the impressive occult research done for the novel (the author gives an extensive bibliography at the end for anyone curious).

posted February 17, 2016 10:35 PM            

I also have to say that I don't think I like religion that I've seen. Someone always abuses power. What made me lose my catholic faith was their hatred of my mother who divorced my father and the hatred of my gay sister. Not only that but I later learned that my cousin was sexually abused by a priest. Sooo my mistrust started early

posted February 17, 2016 10:35 PM            

I also have to say that I don't think I like religion that I've seen. Someone always abuses power. What made me lose my catholic faith was their hatred of my mother who divorced my father and the hatred of my gay sister. Not only that but I later learned that my cousin was sexually abused by a priest. Sooo my mistrust started early

posted February 18, 2016 02:17 AM            

When I was 17 I took part in an Eastern Orthodox (primarily Russian Orthodox, but included many other types, strangely I can't recall any Greeks which probably meant they had their own church somewhere) as part of an unschooling project. Having been raised in the East Texas Bible Belt, I found it an exotic experience, and explaining such Christianity to the Orthodox bemused them (like how many counties were "dry counties" which severely restricted or even prohibited the sale of any alcohol based on some Bible commandment of not abusing the body with one Russian American throwing up his hands saying, "Jesus turned water into wine!"). I was perfectly honest that this was intended to be an educational experience but most of them were nice to me, even sneaking me communion bread (soaked in wine) though that was technically not allowed by their church.

I went through I think 40 days of various fasts and services that lead up to Pascha (Easter). The closer it got to Pascha, the more extreme the fasts got, and the longer the services (which were done standing up). Toward the last of it, there was, IIRC, nothing allowed but water (Jesus was dead) and we attended a service that lasted from sundown to about 4 AM. That night, from weeks of fasting (which I wasn't used to--many said they were surprised I managed it since most American converts don't on the first attempt) and hours and hours of chanting midst thick incense smoke and candlelight was very shamanic and the icons came alive around me...it was like they turned into literal windows into Heaven, and the people were looking from Heaven onto us as we were onto them. (Others were reaching an altered state as well.) Keep in mind, I was not a Christian, but I did feel it.

And then came the grand finale representing Christ rising from the dead...and we were led down to a kitchen with every type of food and treat, and also alcohol. I saw a ten year old boy being given strong drink, so they didn't say anything about a 17-year-old. I didn't have much of an alcohol tolerance to begin with, but after all that fasting (and time without sleep) made it hit me hard. It was such that as the priest (in his own altered state) ran down the stairs (stopping half way) to shout ("Khristos Voskrese," or "Christ has risen!") I shouted back (with many others), "Voistinu Voskrese!" ("Indeed, He is risen!") That happened 3 times, and on the 3rd time I raised my wine up and stood on the table shouting it at the top of my lungs (no one seemed to mind, though it's possible that's why the priest stopped doing that )

Coinciding with spring (and the sun rose while we feasted and drank), I felt the world waking up as I feasted. While I considered the Christian mythos as more metaphorical, I still felt it tapped into something real and primal...and perhaps (mixed with the alcohol) I gladly accepted the sexual advances of an older guy (and had sex with him in the church bathroom--I've always wondered if he confessed that to his priest, though I'd later found out he bragged about it so that many were buzzing about it).

But here's the great irony...I did not believe, and yet it was a spiritual experience for me. But for many of the regulars, it was more of a social club than a religion who felt nothing mystical from it (though plenty did as well).

I met a woman back then who I'd later room with in Southern California as she needed a paying roomie...and we'd become lesbian lovers. She's just bitter about the church because it doesn't encourage women to think or be independent, and it certainly didn't accept gays...as she secretly was. She loved her family but knew they'd kick her out if she ever came out (and that's a major cause with her struggle with depression today, IMO), and yet her family and the church in general tolerate (with anything from a wink to a bit of finger wagging) divorcees, cheaters, even sex in the church bathroom as long as it's heterosexual. Indeed, her family has given succor to violent criminals (relatives). But being gay? No way. That's not allowed.

posted February 18, 2016 01:33 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I'm not sure where I'm going with this (and I should go to bed). It's just odd that I don't believe and somehow touched something mystical, a higher reality, while others who believe can lack those experiences and be so petty and dogmatic, who can't actually experience spirituality, only agree to the spoken and unspoken rules of life.

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quote:

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Mergoatsun ...
I've always been an empath, have done tarot and believed in spirits, etc. Yet I've never found something that really cements me and makes me feel full of spiritual fulfillment.
I guess I'm reaching out to lindaland to ask you all what makes you feel spiritually fulfilled?
I have my own spirituality, but I feel it's not enough right now.

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First, I want to pay respects to every victim of religious and sexual abuse. If those 'humans' really knew God, they wouldn't have abused.

Religion versus Spirituality...

Bones/Body versus The Life Essence that fills the space-cavities.

In the soul realm we have our spirit/Life Essence, and then there are the things that belong to the personality and soulish-ego desires (our presences, things we like and want for ourselves). And the body is also wired for wanting/seeking out pleasure-- from food to sex to mystical rushes.

Thought-systems, beliefs, philosophies, anything you can have a hard-thought about belong to the STRUCTURES of essential-faith. The essence of faith-inside (no words, no thoughts) is a Knowing. You Know that GOD exists. It's a mystic kind of sense you just 'Know' is true. There's something greater than ourselves, that exists simultaneously outside(and in the Mind's Eye/HigherImagination), as well as Inside (again the etheric essence that comprise our inwardly-awakened consciousness).

I think about a tapestry backing, with which we take threads and yarns and fill-in holes to create image, comfort.

Anyway..... My words above are just 'out there' trying to bring Experience into Word.

Like you said P.J. --- There is NO 'requirement' for having a mystical experience, except that it happens IN and TO some individuals in life.

When I had my own ConversionExperience, it happened IN a Dream, NO preachers, NO institution, I was in one of the most organic thick parts of my life. Toddler and Baby, breastfeeding, husband extorting monies from the business and our material-possessions (without my knowing yet) and I had low-thyroid feeling quite physically exhausted.... too exhausted to 'really really' pay attention to anything that you'd want to imagine in cliché to be holy, and to be airy-fairy- lost in 'The Glory' kind of prep. .... I did 'nothing' but go to sleep, where I was 'presented' an ethereal contrast...

I had been a cantor in the rcCatholic church, I had a sense of the subtle-energies (but didn't realize that THAT 'was' something). I knew everything I had been taught in the home and parochial schools about Jesus. I lead the congregation in the church in songs and psalm-responses. I felt the subtle energies around the altar, the tabernacle. Even OUTSIDE of me, I could feel from time to time this 'thick honey' blanket surrounding me...

But inside? was Void. Just blackness like cosmic universal background of Space.

In the dream, this preacher came at me holding a bible, telling me I had to Ask Jesus INTO My Heart.

In those days, 'those-people' made me LIVIDLY angry. But since I considered myself a 'broadminded' person, I looked up at GOD (like Tevya, Fiddler on The Roof), and I said GOD?, 'these (yukky) people' keep giving me the same trite language??? Could ya send them a thesaurus or something??? LOL.

So, IN the dream, I wanted to see from the other point of view. I said GOD?, what is he talking about???

That's when I got the sensory imagery of the 'honey' around the tabernacle (where the consecrated hosts are kept), the 'honey' around me.... and the darkness and void INSIDE of me.

Then there was the appreciation of the Beauty of the Honey (The Holy Spirit, The Beautiful Christ), and the 'LOVE' that was IN it.

And I thought to myself, I Want That. I Want that outsideLove INSIDE of me.

By that time, I had shifted into a Lucid State. And this terrible-good powerful cry came up and out of my INSIDE-blackness and said, I Want That. I Want That!!!!

I had an Imagination-Experience suddenly where I was out in Space, and as I cried out 'I Want That'... there was a ripple of ethers that went out in every direction from me, that started small and grew in amplitude. And I Saw, with my Mind's Eye, I Saw the stars and the Fabric of Space itself shiver and Move. I Want That! I Want That.

Then it was as though everything went dead for a moment. My body was as though dead, and yukky meat. I was a dead-pile. Nothing. And this GIANT Sandglass appeared before me, and the Sand was full on the Top, and the sand started to pour through the tiny neck, to the belly of the Glass.

I saw that for a while.... It just 'was'. Then slowly slowly slowly slowly, as the grains filled the bottom part of the Sandglass, "IT" was filling "me."

I gradually woke up, and when I did, I was a New Person... The person who had gone to bed, went unconscious....Woke Up Different.

There was a Glow about me. It was like the Glow of a Bride, an Engaged Person. Almost like light pouring out of me. Such a Joy was present.....

My best-friend at the time had been a bornagain Christian. She NEVER bugged me, only listened...

We had an IceCream date on Tuesday nights... our husbands stayed with the kids, and we had time with each other and with ourself.

I showed up at the IceCream parlor, and she 'Looked' at me. All I could do was 'beam'... and SHE Knew what had happened to me before I ever spoke Words to her.....

When GOD comes INTO your life and BECOMES your LIFE, there is NO mistaking 'The Presence'....

KEEP Searching. Keep asking questions. Keep going keep going keep going. If you really WANT to KNOW 'GOD'.... He is just as WANTING 'you' to Know Him.

'BECAUSE' I Searched for the Light, and thirsted and longed and Yearned to Know The Truth, The LIGHT and The Truth was able to come to ME..... Humble, Nothing, Nobody-me.

And the Truth there, is that YOU are not a Nobody. You're 'A SOMEBODY' to GOD.

So, there's a limbo of 'the Universe'... and there's a 'personal' experience of GOD made available to us because we are 'persons'. We were 'designed' to feel with our senses. God made a way for us to 'feel' the Honey of His Presence IN and TO and Surrounding us.

Taste.... and SEE that the Lord is GOOD. There is NO Shadow in Him. If persons tell you God is Evil, they lie. They don't know HIM. They write books, espouse to philosophies that try to 'interpret' Him, even BLAME him for everything.

haha, I was listening to Bill Mahrer RealTime on HBO a few weeks ago, where he said that GOD is scapegoated all the time... He's made to be the beatch.

We are finite-- our minds are sooooo PUNY and Narrow. We like to have cause-effects all figured out, all spelled out and neat-- our need to CONCRETIZE things... And we're 'wired' for that---- so there's no condemnation there, whatsoever.

GOD 'knows' how we are... He does NOT get 'mad' at us. He knows our Frame, our Structure, our design.

That's where Faith and Trust come in. We have to trust that faith will Connect our Faith-ability. Then FAITH rewards. It's not always 'tangible-like' but it's like tangible. Like the way we can 'see' 11:11's, etc, we come to Know He is tangible.

So...... Thank you for the invitation to share what makes 'me' feel spiritually fulfilled. I'm not 'anything' to boast about... heck, barely got my life intact sometimes, but I'm make SUCH GREAT Progress now.

There's Promise in the Air for me....

I too am a Survivor of abuses from people who had mundane authority over me-- from my family, perverted (female) socialworkers when I tried to get help about what was happening in my home. Things snowballed constantly from that. I hadn't been prepared for life at all. And the life-training I got was harm upon harms.

BUT GOD, had a Plan for me to Live!

And that Living is NOT Over yet for me. The Best Is Yet To Come. My Best Days were saved for Last.

posted June 12, 2016 12:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Mergoatsun:
Randall, my journey is a little bit more peaceful now than it was. I've really focused on secular Buddhism and meditating on my energy. It really helped me when I was going through crushing migraines. I feel like I am open to the universe and if anything spiritual were to happen I'd be open to it. I am pretty busy with school though, so maybe I'm just distracted

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