posted June 30, 2008 02:51 AM         

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One of the most stringent conditions all angels must meet, Thor, other than double-advanced harp playing and skydiving abilities (not necessarily at the same time), is that they must not allow themselves to feel hurt or rejected by the choices made by others, no matter how much they've done for them nor how great their love.

posted June 30, 2008 03:10 AM         

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One of the most stringent conditions all angels must meet, Thor, other than double-advanced harp playing and skydiving abilities (not necessarily at the same time), is that they must not allow themselves to feel hurt or rejected by the choices made by others, no matter how much they've done for them nor how great their love.

posted July 01, 2008 12:08 PM         

"fear leads to anger which leads to the dark side" a quote from yoda.

on the one hand you are asking people to reveal more about who they are while on the other hand you are implying that there are freaks about. you are leaving me confused and a lot less willing to share.

you said that we are the TRUE word.
what does this mean and how did you come to this conclusion.

posted July 01, 2008 12:33 PM         

fanatacism is more dangerous to lindaland than weirdos.
it is more subtle and has good intentions.

weirdos always make themselves known eventually if that indeed is what they are.

posted July 01, 2008 04:30 PM         

and I have no fear, i am just sick of people who have no respect for this website coming in and creating all kinds of chaos. those that hid e behind a name. too many on here think this is a game and use the excuse of not showing who they are because of childish things.

now I would think the worse thing that could happen upon here is someones spouse reading soemthing they did not know and freaking out. I remember a long time ago someones husband was stalking them on here and they flat out wrote him a letter telling him they knew he was here. another person told me of a sibling that was on here and the sibling wouldn't tell them what their handle name was???

it seems that many look at our site as a game board and that might be why we aren't taken as serious in other realms.

I feel that if ONE person writes TRUE WORDS and what i mean by that Bilbo is tell us who you really are...what is going on with you as far as who you have become..through family, lovers, the trees..your residents that you once lived by. WHO are you???? there are so many people on here, i have recieved personal emails from people that have noted, "i have read your words on LL, though I don't responds..." man, what is that about? I want to know who you are too, i want to hear some of the things you think and have figured out per say linda. you dig?

so I will start something for all the shy types...you might not get as deep as me, but then again, not everyone is a JeDi yet. lol

WHO am I? I am Thor to some of you...THORSHAMMER, or Horsetamer, I never knew that lexi was in my name until Emily first and then Lotus pointed it out to me. I do work with horses, I am a Natural horsmanship man, one who works with horses in a natural state, I dont believe in bits of anykind, but actually the ONENESS that a horse is willing to share with you. There are more things about me that many of you know and some dont, but thats one of the things I do and adore.

I can't remember my fifth grade year of school. I can barely remember my 2nd also. it was probably because of the abuse I took as a child. My father was a herioin addict, I wouldn't discover this until about the age of 11 while prying in the bathroom and finding his needle and junk above a door seal. When I brought this to my mothers attention she had the honor of teaching me about drugs...or what they were and that my father had a issue or problem that he has to deal with. Of course drugs...pot were a natural thing in my home as a child, we were black and resided in the south side of chicago, incense and mary jane were just natural to everyone. Now i am not saying that because I am black man, a beautiful man of color that all black people do pot and you should assume that, i am saying that it was a natural accomadation in homes back then as it is now...and in some of your homes too.

I remember being in the back room, my parents would have friends over and you could smell this aroma floating through the hallways. I didn't know what it was and I knew through the silent rule....WHO CARES what it was..I was a child and I knew I had NO BUSINESS asking what it was...So I didn't. I just knew it was something my dad smoked with friends while my mother sat in the room with them disagreeing with it like a toting jehovah witness might do.

that memory was around age 12 or so....11...12..i dont know. I do know that even as a young boy our house was a shamble, abuse flawed on my dad to the most extreme. once i recall my dad holding my mother by her head, with her arm behind her back, as she crying out, "please robert...stop," my father would sit there looking down on my sister and I as we cryied even louder than my mother...and can you guess what he would say to us...? he would say..."STOP CRYING and LAUGH!"

the man was so high he knew what he was doing was wrong, to watch children cry over their mother, he was a idiot that night and he couldn't face his children crying so the thought of them laughing as he almost broke their mothers arm made him feel better. I think the worse part about it is, that even growing up and remembering that night, it took me a longer time to justify that I wasn't suppose to laugh, though he said to it and dad was always right...sometimes that sticks with you...the order.

SO I resided in a house of horror and still I loved my dad to dead. Weds were garbage days, living in chicago in the late 70's we had what were known as SUPER RATS, they could bore though 8 inches of concrete...8 inches! These were some big cats or rodents that looked like cats. each weds i was forced to take the garbage out while my dad stood on the porch about 20 feet away as big juicy rabid rats jumped out of the 50 gallon cans over my head, shoulders, chest as i took the lid off. Of course they were more afraid of me than I was of them...well I dont think so, but thats what i was told. though it might have been Roberts, my father, way of toughening me up...to this day i am terrified of rodents...one dream and I am up for about a hour because surely there must be a rat in my bed, why else would i be dreaming about them.

and those days would go on and on and on..under the hot sun in concrete jungle, chicago, you could only endure,it was either the rodents or the ghetto uneducated thugs on the other side of the tracks...they would try and get you...and so it happened.

The last thing I could remember was playing with a Green Tonka Truck in the alley way. the Alley wasnt a thru way, my end was blocked off by railroad ties as the tracks were right behind my home.

now lets take a break here..time for some homework. I want you guys that dont have it to get it now...GOOGLE EARTH. now you can take it off your computer if you want later, but it would be a great tool in this story.

I am going to give you two cordinates to find, but first i want you to download this onto your computer. this way if you have a story to tell later, you can find the locations and tell us where they are, so we can follow the story. of course if its a modern day location, like your house you don't have to, but what i am showing you is from like 30 years ago and I dont reside there anymore and on that note, i am not afraid to let you know where i live anyway...a while back on myspace after some confrontations on here, someone here who lives in canada, their husband or boyfriend contacted me on myspace saying he wanted to beat me to a pulp, of course i invited him to come do it...have him phone number and all and i am still waiting for him to call, he noted that he would be here for a Motorcycle rally in salt lake this july, so i am really excited to meet the mystery man...okay back to our story...oh and i know who it is..as the woman has put a picture of him on LL and I know who he is. okay back to google earth.
when you down load it...look to the lower left hand corner, there will be a section called LANDMARKS, i want you to click on these items if they are not already clicked: GEOGRAPHICAL AREAS,ROADS,STREET VIEW,BORDERS AND LABELS, TRAFFIC AND PLACES OF INTEREST. make sure all of those are clicked.

okay after you have done that you can put in a coordination by clicking on ADD at top of tool bar adn then clicking placemark or you can just put in on left side a destination. in this case i will give you both.

if you put in SOUTH HARVARD AVE/W 73RD ST OR PUT IN CORDINATES 41 DEGREES 45'31.86'N AND ON BOTTOM ONE 87 DEBREES 38'1.81"W OR YOU can just put in 316 w 73rd st chicago ,ll. there will be little camera all over the street...click on the one that is closes it will pull you in and there will be a vacant lot..thats where i was born..I was born at home december 3rd 1969 at 11:48 central time PM.

now...the story i was telling you about..i want you to go here next.

I want you to go to 7054 S parnell ave chicago il. there is a building on the corner, there are some kids outside in white t-shirts, We resided in that building..right window first floor. there we would sit and watch cold chicago winter storms, the wind would blow you over and my dad would send me across the street to jesses to get cigarettes...also there is a camera there too...click on that and you will get a 360 degree of the street..my home, the store jesses, behind it the bums would sing at night sipping on night train, the fire station across the street and other buildings.

now if you type in 555 w 71st st chicago il, you will see another camera, click on that one and it will show you the side of the building i lived at and the back. you will see a white van in the back, there was a garage there at one time with the 50 gallon drums where my rat people would **** all over me as they scrambled about. the alley is there too..though there is more foliage now than when i was young. as a youth the alley way was clean..now times have changed vacant lots galore.

It was this alley way where i would play with my green and yellow Tonkay toy.

it would be this same alley way where i would wake up in that foliage up there where two boys would attempt to kidnap me and kill me.

I don't remember them grabbing me so I assumed they knocked me out, the only thing i remember is walking up in a make shift club house it was made out of installation for homes, all silvery.

there was a chubby guy and a skinnier one. They weren't really my concern...it was the rats that i was worried about! If you notice the viaduct where the train rain..the sides went up and there was dirt and rock below...tunnels for rats to scurry and bite you. Growing up we had a legend about a rat called the GOLDEN RAT...it was yellowish brown and had wings like a bat, but it crawled like a rat, kinda a miniature griffin...if he came after you..you could not get away as he could fly and pounce on you. for the record I did see him one early morning while a train was going by...he was frozen as the vibrations of the train struck him...so he couldnt get me.

well as these boys pounded me in the head back and forth, I kept fainting, again the faint was more because i was scared to death of rats. The chubby boy wanted to do vile and pervert things to me or he wanted me to do them to him..when i said no...he hit me hard, sometimes with railroad track rocks, they are light and have holes in them like the moon..and they hurt whether close up or far away! I of course kept fainting.

finally I did what anyone would do...I LIED. I don't think I had ever lied before. I mean if i did something, I told the truth and that was that, but this time there was no truth. I had to survive. we were jehovah witnesses, at least raised in that way and I knew at the time that a lie was not acceptable, but didnt that boy say he was going to kill me....? HECK YEAH HE DID!

so i came up with this lie, well it was half lie. in those days we had stores called WOOLWORTH or the 10 cent stores, you could go inside and on the higher shelves all around the stores would be these piggy banks...all kinds. spider man, hulk..princess..etc. here is the hulk one:
http://cgi.ebay.com /RARE-1978-MARVEL-COMICS-INCREDIBLE-HULK-15-COIN-BANK_W0QQitemZ110266449533QQihZ001QQcategoryZ35741QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

I told these two evil b@stards that I had two banks in the house, a Spider man and Hulk, that both were filled with nickles, dimes and quarters. I had been saving them since i was a baby (and i was in 2nd grade at the time...lol), I bartered that I would give them all the money, all they needed do was let me go..just let me go man.

the fat one responded with.."H*LL no, we gonna kill this M$TH#$F##KER!" The skinny one was more into the greedy thing and so as the chubby one beat me more, I passing out, the skinny one tried to talk him into letting me go and get the damn banks so they could have the money and then...they would kill me.

they let me go and i was terrified. See this is where the games begin...the ones My father played with us..."DONT CRY LAUGH LITTLE N!GGA...LAUGH!" Here I am "walking" when i should be "RUNNING," but i am afraid....why, because of my dad and his antics...fear is fear and you don't ever know when you are being tested..especially when your life is in jeopardy, so i walked. now you can see (if you installed the free google earth) that the trees to my house aren't that far and i am going to go through the back door, but I am so scared I couldn't run for the glory of gold.

finally i hear something: "Kelly...RUN." well when i heard this over my right shoulder it was surely them testing me, if i ran, they would grab me and kill me and the rats would have Kelly for lunch, dinner and breakfast. I still walked a walk that seemed like the end of days.

again:

"Kelly....RUN!" Well this time I didn't hear it over my shoulder but within my being...as if someone was sitting on my ear and telling me to run. I started to look over my shoulder and there he was...the skinny one..about ten yards behind me, I ran, slipped on gravel losing my balance, which at that time he had lunged for me, but in the frame of things, the lunge happened at the same time as I fell, so he missed..talk about coincidence's huh?

I ran up the back stairs and blasted into the house rambling and crying this horrific scream. no one could understand me, my mother was crying and wanted to know what was wrong but i was so feared up I couldn't speak. Finally father came out and said "SHUT THE F**k up boy..what happened!"

And thats all that was needed, the guy scared me to death more than the boys and I just said, "the boys....they tried to kill me." well mom went out first then dad, on the side of the garage my neighbors kenny and stevie were playing darts with their cousins, they couldnt see me run up the stairs because i was on the other side of the garage. mom and dad were confused when they saw them as they knew they wouldnt hurt me and dad looked at me with the eyes of anger, the eyes that say...you are going to get your head smashed into the wood floor for this lie. of course i was fast to blurt out..."not them...THEM!"

and there they were..running like dogs high on the tracks. My dad just happened to be wearing some dress shoes, but when he took off after them...I tell you with all the abuse that drugs can do to a person, at that moment i knew the old man really loved me, still I prayed he would disappear to another dimension one day, but I did see the love he had for his first born.

so they were caught and Kelly would get his revenge, If I did possess the power or Thor and his trust hammer MJOLNIR back then..someone was about to get pounded..two of them.

with all the suffering I had seen and discovered with my head, jaws, ribs arms, legs....nothing ever broken as the GODS don't break..but I wanted suffering, I wanted them to be pounded to pulp. the last two years had been hell in this building and it was two babysitters, and my dad...this was my time of reckoning.

I sat on those front step between each boy, my father over them and my mother to the side, she would say, 'kelly these boys have something to say to you..."

what did they say? You really want to know? what do you think they said?

I will tell you because I have never forgotten the worlds and I have never forgotten their faces and so be it, if they are not dead already...well maybe Odin grant them the luck to never run into me...the boys said:

'MAN....WE'RE SORRY, WE WERE JUST PLAYING AROUND WITH YOU."

AND THAT WAS IT!

I sat with one guy telling me he wanted me to suck his dog, he was going to kill me, hit me with rocks, punched me in my jaw, neck, head eye...tried to kill me and they were sorry...?

This is the problem with people who are religious fanactics like my mother...they believe this whole turn the other cheek and sometimes its bull, because if you touch my kids in anyway or form that is in violation, you are going to be fish for the big fishes.

my mother and her forgiveness...of course even though i was beat black and blue, i must have been over exaggerating the story...right?

of course reading this "PART" of me, you know where i stand on people who hurt their children and you have discovered what i would do with pedophiles of the sort too. Jesus went into the temple in a blinding rage asking while they did the things they did in his fathers house. I say good for him..a little anger is justified when it is justified.

NOW...the worse thing about this story is that after that..for many years i was a compulsive liar, i learned that to lie could save your life and as far as i was concerned life was the way to go! I have been over that scene in my life along time ago

now I dont want anyone writing me here and saying "oh thor..you poor things..I feel so sorry for you."

I didn't write it for your pity, i was in 2nd grade when that happened and i am really over it. If anything it gave me a sixth sense to what pure evil is and believe me...I can smell it...even on here at times. its all around us and its out to take advantage of you if it can, if you let it.

THIS IS TRUTH Bilbo...can you dig me.

this is my life..or the past and there is more, the babysitter who beat me and my sibling as soon as my mother closed the door to go to work. things things things...the point is I survived it. and this was something I share with all of you, some of you i dont know, some of you who just read and don't respond...thats on you. no worries. there is more too. love, creation, LSD, friends...all of it.

I just thought this was the forum to "TELL" in words, like linda did in gooberz or her letter to Sally..a expression of love and passion, a confession, because NO TWO ARE ALIKE.

Don't feel sorry for me, I dont want your pity...lol. I am a GOD...I really am! I know that we were all made as GODS and we have that right to call ourselves that. I am not the first so I cannot say I am THE ONE, but I know I am one of them and this is my celebration I share with you.

NOW I WANT TO HEAR from some of you....something long and deep....you don't need go down the same road as i did if you dont want to...but i want to know why you are different, tell us.

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One of the most stringent conditions all angels must meet, Thor, other than double-advanced harp playing and skydiving abilities (not necessarily at the same time), is that they must not allow themselves to feel hurt or rejected by the choices made by others, no matter how much they've done for them nor how great their love.

posted July 01, 2008 07:16 PM         

I drain more verbally than writing, when i write poetry or plays and such...I am high energized. when it comes it just comes. lol. I am happy to share with you.

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One of the most stringent conditions all angels must meet, Thor, other than double-advanced harp playing and skydiving abilities (not necessarily at the same time), is that they must not allow themselves to feel hurt or rejected by the choices made by others, no matter how much they've done for them nor how great their love.

posted July 02, 2008 04:06 AM         

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"Tender is my heart, for screwing up my life"~ Blur

posted July 02, 2008 04:55 AM         

As I mentioned earlier... ummm... WOW!!!!
This brought tears to my eyes to feel the honesty, to see you sharing your soul so openly,
and to be reminded yet once again that I am blessed to call you my friend.

posted July 02, 2008 02:22 PM         

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One of the most stringent conditions all angels must meet, Thor, other than double-advanced harp playing and skydiving abilities (not necessarily at the same time), is that they must not allow themselves to feel hurt or rejected by the choices made by others, no matter how much they've done for them nor how great their love.

posted July 03, 2008 04:51 AM         

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One of the most stringent conditions all angels must meet, Thor, other than double-advanced harp playing and skydiving abilities (not necessarily at the same time), is that they must not allow themselves to feel hurt or rejected by the choices made by others, no matter how much they've done for them nor how great their love.