posted September 21, 2011 07:39 PM            

i am going to print this out and read it all slowly; it is how i connect better.

i have read up to the part where you were in the mental 'hospital'. i can't tell you how much reading about what happened to you has angered me. things like this should never happen to anyone, especially never to a child.

posted September 21, 2011 08:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
At one point we were all assigned to write what the founding fathers would think of the USA today and I instead made a story of how me and my classmates decided to interview them with a Ouija board at the home of one boy in class with insane pentecostal parents (who inflicted exorcisms on her kids with the help of her church) and her church busted us and attacked, and in the brawl the Ouija board (with the spirits of the founding fathers in them) was busted over the head of one of the fundies and the ghosts possessed the fundies and began to tell us what they thought of America today. I did real research for this story and put in footnotes. But they hated the USA and decided to hold another revolution and we went with them for extra credit and it got even sillier and was obviously inspired by The Matrix which I'd just seen. At the end of my story I had it turn out that our principal was possessed by Adolf Hitler (thus explaining his obsession about trying to impose school uniforms--and I gave a footnote from a school library book on how Nazi schools had uniforms which the principal later found infuriating) and shopping for a younger body to possess (which is why he was a principal), but we got saved by a motorcycle gang possessed by Celtic spirits (this was also based on history books I'd read and there were more footnotes, btw) and the principal escaped in a helicopter expelling us all as he got away so we all continued with the 2nd American Revolution as it was better than playing video games. My classmates loved it. The 2 teachers did not, gave me an F, and gave it to the principal who gave me in school suspension over it.

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haha this is great!

posted September 21, 2011 08:27 PM            

i just have to say, everything you have said sounds like what i would have done in your place...so your life is very fascinating to me. though i can relate to the having to fight against the heartless control of others (sadly, mostly from parents, who should be there to HELP you) and to the weird 'psychic' stuff, i have to say my own life has been nowhere near this hard. now i understand what you said about 'making yourself' and how you wouldn't be who you are, still have your 'self' (because the intuition and all that comes with that package right) if you had let others make you.

posted September 26, 2011 01:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Dad was angry when he found out I ranaway because he'd paid all that child support, but as I told him if he'd cared at all about me enough to check on me then he'd have known, and I was in no way obligated to tell him I was running away just so he could cancel the child support (and if he stopped paying then Mom WOULD'VE reported me missing to try and get me, er, her child support, back--and that wouldn't have helped me get away). I didn't go into details on why I ran because neither seemed that interested. Despite this I'd send the rare Christmas present to both from time to time.

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wow, i don't think they deserved the pleasure of your company ever again. i'm sorry, i just don't really go with the whole 'respect your parents' idea when said parents clearly had little respect for their own children.

i understand though, why you went back to see them, i guess. because no matter what there is always a part of us that seeks their approval, and it's always trying to get our attention, no matter how damaged it is. sometimes it makes us believe it is something else, but it is still the voice of an innocent little child seeking love.

it's hard when we have to learn to give that part of ourselves love-ourselves feels like it's never quite full, you just give it pacifying doses

posted September 26, 2011 04:54 PM            

But at the same time I've forgiven them and pity them as deeply flawed human beings. This doesn't mean I've forgotten and I don't put any real expectations on them to act like decent human beings.

posted October 01, 2011 03:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by pixelpixie:
Amazing story!

You should write it down, embellish it, add more dialogue, and sell it! It's seriously a good read.... your insight and intellect warring against the forces that would put you down. It's a hero story!

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i was going to say that also the other day, that you should write a book, but then my computer froze. it's true though, it makes for a fascinating life story, and it would be great to know the details.

(as someone who writes fiction i know firsthand the difficulties that come with writing though...and i feel disinclined for some reason to write about my own life because i feel so emotionally attached to it still...)