Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted January 16, 2014 02:01 PM            

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Hi everyone. this message is for Randal. I saw that you called yourself "your friendly neighborhood immortal". I understand we create our reality. But I thought you might have some answer for me. Perhaps you can ask your teachers, perhaps you don't need to. I had voices that helped me, but I was also hurt, I heard the voice says "you are rejected", but I didn't hear it in my head, but in my heart. after I have met the teachers and lost them, I have been through a surge of a really nasty time. I have also sinned. But I don't want to write about that. I am deeply sorry. you told me to change my perspective. Thing is, the voices talked with me about things that will happen in my next life, like "you will have a healthy body", and "you will know what you are here for" (I have a major identity problem concerning this issue). This means I shall die and reicarnate, a thing which seems very reasonable regarding the current circumstances, i.e. my health, which got worse, and the problems I face right now. I have met the teachers on 2008, a couple of months after reading Gooberz, and at my first saturn return. At the time I had an astrological aspect of which I read that I will either "walk on water" or that my advancement will be blocked by insurmountable obstacles. I never would have believed that this kind of test will occurr to me with spiritual teachers. I have failed, and than fell. There is much to tell which I am not telling right now. At some point, a voice told me: "you are not worthy". Now, can you hint me on how I should change my nperspective? Should I abandon the dream because it is not the most important thing? I stopped "lying" about my age, and though I am still quite young, I am already feeling the sword above my head. I know I need to focus on the "now" and be happy with my life, but I am dreaming on what could have been. I have also seen old people at the hospital, and they looked awful. I am not creating a family, and I don't know what will become of me. You wrote to me: "Change your perspective, and change your future". I accept that. but I want an answer before I die. I didn't want to die. Will I have a chance to meet immortal gurus in my next life? Linda wrote about a teacher that will come for sure. But I have already after that. She didn't write about those who fail. This is why I posted here in the first place. I don't know anyone who have read Linda's writings or who believes in physical immortality. I hoped I could find some answers here. I have been through a lot,on which I don't tell right now. But not everything is dark. there are also light spots. I know it is basically up to me.I want to know I will have another chance in my next life. Am I wrong wanting to know that? I know death does not exist, but it seems so gloomy. I guess the true enlightened person does not care whether he or she lives or dies. the enlightened ones also don't care whether they will get old or not. they are not attached. But I am not enlightened. I am attached. But I am dreaming about glorious days, being with my twin self, stopping to eat because I don't want to kill vegetables either (I can't do it right now. I am under medications and can't fast) and not sadening eachn other through dying. And I know we don't really die, but how sad it is to stay alone when you know your partner isn't dead but you cannot get in touch with him \ her. But I don't care to be alone right now. That is because I have murdered my twin self. Because of me, both of us will die. If I took my opportunity, we could have both lived, and I wouldn't have become ill and sadened my family. Randal, can I have another chance inspite of what the voices have said? two years ago, I was told that I shall receive enlightenment, and when I asked whether I will be immortal, I was told that I will have experience. But a lot happened since that. I became fearful and had evil thoughts inspite of myself, and I was afraid of judgement. Right now I am more peaceful because I stopped fighting. The voices told me I am pardoned because I shouldn't have been involved in that in the first place. But I have read Linda when I was fourteen and she changed my life. I awe to her a great dill. But I wish I was worthy.Sometimes I woke up with a voice. once I guess I have blamed, in my subconsciousness, the teachers for all that has happened to me, because I woke up with the words: "Don't worry, we will never bother you again". Randal, do you, as someone who is already immortal, know something about these things? I want to enjoy living and to contribute. But if I knew immortal teachers will come my way in the future, no matter how far, I would be happier. Is it a problem to be so attached? I don't want to wait ill death in order to receive an answer.Is it absurd of me? And bthank you too, Astrofan, for writing me.

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Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted January 16, 2014 02:17 PM            

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oops, I meant Randall...

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Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted January 16, 2014 06:24 PM            

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I want astrofan to know i - i appreciate you writing me, i simply need some affirmation, and i hope you take me seriously even after writing this message. Only very few people know about this. i hope i don't seem like a fool or worse. because i acted like a fool with my teachers and perhaps i am a kind of a fool, otherwise i would have been with them, instead of writing this message. but i may grow wise before the end of the day... or even now. I hope i don't look like a fool writing what i did. It is simply the truth. Not all of it, but enough, i think, to seem strange to most people.

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Posts: 36323
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 16, 2014 07:54 PM            

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Will answer when I have more illusory time. Moving this to Oranges And Hyacinths.

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