posted January 31, 2009 07:43 PM         

thought it best to start a thread instead of take-over Vesta's one

Well i have said to him on occasion that l have to end our 'buddy' arrangement cos basically l can't do it anymore due to wanting more out of it. He just ignores whatever he doesn't want to discuss. Very stubborn he is!
He won't ever let me give him up though... he will just contact me when the dust settles again.

Then he will say something like "i miss you" etc etc

The weird thing is, l can send him kisses and hearts on his Facebook wall and he doesn't delete them! So weird...

posted January 31, 2009 07:57 PM           

Either he don`t want to choose, or he is just using you for his personal gratification (sorry, if I am so blunt, I hope it doesn`t offend you).

posted January 31, 2009 08:03 PM         

Sure..

brief history. He is the guy l met end of last July. He asked me to be his buddy and l stupidly said yes!

He's the one who once told me "my perfect woman is 'you without kids' which was ok cos we were only buddies"

I have tried to break up with him about 10 times. Each time he ignores it and then comes back a few weeks later.

I am unable to date anyone else because l find myself comparing how l feel with Andy (his name) to anyone else. I have even told him this!!

It's like i'm glued to him or something and l can't escape. It's really affecting my life now and l really need to move on.

I deleted him from my Facebook tonight cos l can't deal with it all, it's getting upsetting. I must have strong feelings for him.

posted January 31, 2009 08:08 PM           

Actually it makes me kinda upset that he is doing that to you. Or maybe I am misjudging the situation.

But he sounds pretty selfish to me, and I think you did a good thing when you deleted his name from your account.
Either he wants you, all of you (including your children), or not.

I can`t imagine that anything but a reliable stable relationship makes you happy.

posted January 31, 2009 08:11 PM         

I'm telling myself that my buddy is dead now and have deleted him off everything - email/phone.

You are right - l really don't do this type of relationship well and l don't want to.

posted January 31, 2009 08:25 PM         

I am moving on - l have to get him out of my mind as l am missing all these opportunities in my life!

posted January 31, 2009 08:51 PM           

Just a certain coincidence: I had experienced a love affair loaded with (mean) "mindgames" as well - certainly a different story, all in all - but that's why I mentioned that "bell ringing in my mind" thing. And now dig this: This Ex-lover just contacted me via Facebook as well! About 3 weeks ago. Before that there were 9 months without any direct contact between us (we had split in April - it was me then who had said "I won't take these psycho-games anymore" - since then he kinda had "stalked" me via the internet). Anyway: It went a bit to and thro now via Facebook again - but luckily enough time had passed since our (hurtful) break-up - I am so fed up with his tactics - and I also DELETED him from my account there, just last wednesday. I just didn't feel comfortable with him being able to have any insight into my actual private life anymore. He was just too selfish, mean, had "used" me in a way - I kinda was delighted by these games, I must admit. I am not "innocent", but was willing to "play along" for a while ... difficult to explain. But: Such a thing is NO GOOD - just draining.

posted January 31, 2009 09:02 PM           

quote:

---

Just a certain coincidence: I had experienced a love affair loaded with (mean) "mindgames" as well - certainly a different story, all in all - but that's why I mentioned that "bell ringing in my mind" thing. And now dig this: This Ex-lover just contacted me via Facebook as well! About 3 weeks ago. Before that there were 9 months without any direct contact between us (we had split in April - it was me then who had said "I won't take these psycho-games anymore" - since then he kinda had "stalked" me via the internet). Anyway: It went a bit to and thro now via Facebook again - but luckily enough time had passed since our (hurtful) break-up - I am so fed up with his tactics - and I also DELETED him from my account there, just last wednesday. I just didn't feel comfortable with him being able to have any insight into my actual private life anymore. He was just too selfish, mean, had "used" me in a way - I kinda was delighted by these games, I must admit. I am not "innocent", but was willing to "play along" for a while ... difficult to explain. But: Such a thing is NO GOOD - just draining.

---

posted January 31, 2009 09:12 PM           

Just because: During the last Mercury rx-phase (in Octobre) it was ME who felt such a strong urge to contact him (my Ex-BF) again ... I almost did it! Despite the nasty things that had happened 6 months before... Luckily I was able to talk about that urge over here (and with my real life friends of course) - and people warned me: This is just a sort of "flashback effect". After all ... I behaved! And then, a few weeks later, when Mercury went "forward" again, I felt SUCH relief that I had NOT given in to my temporary need to "speak to him" again.

posted February 01, 2009 01:06 AM           

But as we discussing earlier and now unable to break away!

I looked at my chart with the guy and found

His nessus exactly conjunct my SN with my
lachesis ( fate)
My nessus exactly opp his vertex
He has my name in his chart opp his vertex on my nessus.

in the other thread Tigerlily posted some info about nessus and those were some of the things I experienced.

The shock, jolt - transformation, ghosts, emotional pain ect...

posted February 01, 2009 06:27 AM         

I think i've found why l can't let go...

My sun/moon trine his karma EXACT
My venus/mars square his venus EXACT
His sun/moon opp my sun EXACT
His sun/moon square my AC EXACT
His sun/moon mp conjunct my juno/karma EXACT

Look at the karma links... grrrr
I guess trines to mp's maybe don't count

posted February 01, 2009 11:12 AM         

You deserve so much better than him! I know it can be hard cause just when you start to forget him, you'll get a txt message or call wanting to see you. But you have to make it clear that you do not want to hear from him at all anymore..then block all his calls and messages. Rip off the bandaid quickly.

posted February 01, 2009 11:17 AM         

yeah, i had a lesson to learn with that guy which is why l let him string me along a bit... of course l would also phone him and demand him
I have cut him out of everything now and hope that works!

posted February 01, 2009 12:49 PM         

Lara, I'm so happy that this new guy turned out to be sweet and gentle! I hope all goes well with him. Keep us updated!