posted February 21, 2009 04:26 PM           

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(These are very cliched. Enjoy the cliches. )

Aries: "My new toy DOESN'T WORK! It JUST DOESN'T WORK!" When countered by the sales assistant, Aries' voice will become ever more hectoring and build to a crescendo, possibly including an expletive or two, by which time they have to be given a refund simply in order to shut them up.
Taurus: "I'll just sit here until you give me a refund." (Smiles lazy smile - in order to make this person a teensy weensy bit less comfortable, air-conditioning or heating can of course always be adjusted in order to move them from the spot).
Gemini: "I've brought back this item I bought, sorry, shoplifted - ha ha, last week. (Spots horrified face of shop assistant). Ha ha! Only joking!! Do you want to see a card trick? I'll swipe a few more items whilst you're watching with my incredible sleight-of-hand, and you won't even notice!"
Cancer: "You won't give me a refund? Oh, well, don't worry, it was probably my fault - I expect I broke the thing anyway (then goes home and pouts over own lack of brass neck)".
Leo: "I positively DEMAND a refund! Do you know who I am? Listen, you're being VERY RUDE to me!"
Virgo: "There's a gap in the weave of the microtextile this item of clothing's made from. It's just not good enough, and it's making me nervous."
Libra: "Look, I'm sure we can come to a reasonable agreement - without any unpleasantness."
Scorpio: "You sold me faulty goods DELIBERATELY, and even if you didn't, I'm going to maintain you did anyway, no matter how tall my story ends up being. If you don't give me a refund, I will call my lawyer right now and sue you under clauses X, Y and Z. Or you can choose to be handcuffed immediately. Which would you prefer?"
Sadge: "Your goods are cr*p! Face it, they're rubbish! Ha ha!"
Capricorn: "I'm usually careful enough to buy goods that don't warrant returning - and indeed, it's always extremely embarrassing to have to do so. However, I do like to get value for money."
Aquarius: "An exchange sounds good. Can I exchange my spouse? Hahaha! (Spouse gives a sharp look in Aquarius' direction)"
Pisces: "(placid) Ummm...yeah, do whatever you want...WHAT? (morphs into Gollum-like person) YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T GIVE ME A REFUND? BE AFRAID!!! BE VERY AFRAID!!! (Next second, in fluffy-bunny mode). Thank you! (flutters eyelashes, having settled refund). You're such a nice man!"

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Posts: 49
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 22, 2009 03:01 AM         

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LMAO
i love these

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Posts: 247
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted February 22, 2009 03:26 AM         

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I like the Taurus one especially, it's very true. These are hilarious!

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posted February 22, 2009 04:50 AM           

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Glad ya like!

I try

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