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Author
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Topic: We're over...
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MoonPixie
Knowflake Posts: 103
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 05:13 AM
 
The Cancer and I are ending things... he's decided to move to LA to pursue his career in film and I'm staying in New York to pursue my career as a writer. I am honestly... I don't know... I'm 20 years old and I should not feel this crushed. We were so good together... our lives and personalities are so similar in that we both are constantly changing. We always said to each other that we were each other's constant in life... he'll be going back and forth between NY and LA for different gigs he's producing (he's doing really well for himself and I honestly expect someone to make a thread about him on here saying, "[Redacted's] birth chart"). This isn't me being hopeful for him; he's already working with Gold Circle Films. Google it.What a Cancer... he's been in LA for two weeks now and now that I'm going back to NY he didn't tell me until now... his excuse was that he really, REALLY didn't know how to tell me that he moved because he had only decided to move in with his co-producer a month before he left. He wants me to eventually move to LA after NY. He said that he wants me to be free to do whatever I want but to promise that once we're both settled with our lives changing that I'll be there in the end to be with him. Basically - he wants to be young and be in LA and travel around and date different girls (he actually said this to me) and get "this all out of my system" because his life is going to drastically change. DRASTICALLY. I told him that I understood, and that he is young and so am I. I've always told him to do what he wants and not what he thinks I expect from him, because the only thing I expect from him is complete honesty and integrity in what he does... because I trust him to do the right thing. If he wants to be a young bachelor, then so be it. Go ahead. I'd rather him not drag me around everywhere and pretend to not want to be around other girls and party all the time than be with me and not be honest. I respect him so much more for leaving than staying. I am very upset that he didn't tell me before... but even then... it would be too late. I'm already set to go to New York... and if he left a month from now instead of a month ago... it wouldn't change my stance: I am not moving again after NY. Not even for him - especially to LA. I just wish for the past two-three weeks that he would have said something to me. Instead, he just stop talking to me for three weeks and let me think that he was busy... I told him that I won't be waiting around and I certainly won't plan my life around eventually seeing him in the end. I will let LIFE BE LIFE. I am so tired of making plans around him. I had already moved from Chicago to be with him in NY... he wasn't the only reason, but he was the last spark that really lit this drive in me to move to the city of my dreams. I love him, but I refuse to keep moving. Not after I've moved to Korea for a few months and now I'll be in NY until I graduate which is another 2.5+ years. I'm just so... I don't know. I'm so sad... so very sad. NY is my heart... but now a little bit of my heart is gone. IP: Logged |
MoonPixie
Knowflake Posts: 103
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 05:14 AM
A part of me still feels that we'll find each other later in life... but that's just me being hopeful.IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 346
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 05:26 AM
You sound normal to me. Or put it like this, I wouldn't be happy either. IP: Logged |
MoonPixie
Knowflake Posts: 103
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 05:26 AM
synastry:  IP: Logged |
MoonPixie
Knowflake Posts: 103
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 05:28 AM
~bmyou know... in a way... i actually feel nothing... im not sure if i do feel nothing... or im not letting myself feel anything right now... my body feels numb. my heart is just heavy... but my mind... and everything else... is just... i can't feel anything. i know the sadness is in there somewhere. i can feel it creeping up... but i just wont feel it. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Moderator Posts: 689
From: peace.angel@live.com.au
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 05:35 AM
I'm sorry for hon.  Sending you love. 
IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 346
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 05:36 AM
That's your body reacting to emotional stress. Give it a few days.Your synastry link isn't working. IP: Logged |
Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 533
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 05:40 AM
Bad bad Blue Moon!
I see his company did Poolhall Junkies. How cool  Sure you didnt want to hear that. Anything astrological here or this be another problem page thing? IP: Logged |
MoonPixie
Knowflake Posts: 103
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 05:42 AM
I guess... part of me wants to know if there's any sign of hope... that maybe I'm wrong... and this is just a temporary hump... or I'm right... and we're just not meant to be...That, and I'm just reaching out in a pathetic attempt for a hug since I'm alone in Korea.  IP: Logged |
venusmars
Knowflake Posts: 155
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 06:00 AM
IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 06:02 AM
U re a great girl thinking like u do, im 10 years older but i find u more mature than myself.
He s a tw@t (arent YOU all, people? - me im not obviously),
he ll find girls but will live with shadows who dont care for him but for his status, money... Not a good bargain in the end. Big hug IP: Logged |
MoonPixie
Knowflake Posts: 103
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 06:44 AM
thank you pire.i've always looked at my synastry with him and wondered what even kept us together... i suppose the familiarity was nice... we really were like the same person... looking at my transits, mars and venus are conjunct my 8th house. quote:
Mars Transits the Eighth HouseSexuality and intimacy are stimulated under this transit. Negative expression of this energy is the tendency towards ego conflicts concerning jointly held property or money. Conflicts with partners over values or possessions are possible. Occasionally, this transit could bring a crisis or ending of some kind. Something you hear about now might disturb or touch you deeply. You are likely to be more strategic in your actions during this period, as you become aware of the subtleties of human interaction. This is a time when your best course of action is to recognize that you need, or rely on, others for support.
http://www.cafeastrology.com/marstransitshouses.html quote:
Venus Transits the Eighth HouseDuring this cycle, a financial boost is possible, or you may gain financially through your partner. A deep and intimate connection made now could be revitalizing and even healing. You are more inclined to want to smooth over differences in a partnership concerning the sharing of power, intimacy matters, finances, and other emotionally-charged topics. Intimate relationships are intensified now. Either you or your partner want a deeper union.
http://www.cafeastrology.com/venustransitshouses.html Moon transit 7th house: quote:
Moon transiting the Seventh House
Close personal and business relationships are highlighted now. How you feel about your close relationships or partnerships will largely determine your mood during these 2-3 days. You might have emotional confrontations now or warm, nurturing relations, again depending on your current circumstances. Sometimes this transit correlates with the need for a consultation, and usually one-on-one relationships figure. An increased need to be with people, to socialize, and to compromise are featured during this transit. More attention to physical appearance and attractiveness, as well as graciousness, could also figure. You are in the position to learn much about yourself by listening to others. The need to create or maintain a harmonious environment dominates now, but getting to that point can entail some conflict! Feeling emotional about your relationships could also figure now.
http://www.cafeastrology.com/transitsofthemoon.html I just feel... numb, but at the same time... there are these emotions that are stirring like a seperate entity that I need to control. I hate Scorpio Moon. I don't want to feel anything right now... IP: Logged |
eve
Knowflake Posts: 130
From: jane
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 06:50 AM
It's a hard situation you're both dealing with. Sometimes it seems that life demands we act in a way that hurts ourselves on one level, while we fulfill the needs of another. His Saturn opp your Venus shows how the path he feels he must take hurts you, but I think it's hurting him as well. Looks like natally his Venus-Chiron cnj opposes his Uranus, and possibly his Saturn as well. That looks like a broken heart for him caused by a separation he feels compelled to make for Uranus (individuality) and Saturn (duty) reasons. You're right, you are both young, and I wouldn't rule out a future reunion as false hope. His Venus-Chiron being cnj your Juno-Venus-Mercury could show that you will remain in his heart as the person he views as being able to heal the isolation and sorrow his natal opp makes him feel. Of course, there's no way to know what will happen in the future. But this looks like a valuable relationship for both of you, one that is hurting him greatly to leave. IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 47
From: u.k
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 07:57 AM
You know I am mostly a live and let live person but here's what I would do while he is "finding himself"
I would find myself....big style.
Oh make your life fabulous and successful and all about you.
So that when he limps back which he eventually will you can say
"Oh look what I did while you were away!"I think your mature attitude is amazing and noble but sometimes you just gotta get a bit of revenge.
And you know what the best revenge is?
To live well!
Use this time to let the world know how fantastic YOU are.
He isn't the only one that good things need to happen to. IP: Logged |
amowls*
Knowflake Posts: 297
From: richmond va
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 08:15 AM
Sorry MoonPixie But he's right, you should go out and date other people and see other scenes, you know? You're 20. You don't want to settle down NOW and then in 10 years wonder why the hell you wasted your youth. It's okay to grieve and pine, I certainly do, but try to be optimistic.Don't go on the revenge route (I don't even see how his actions call for revenge tbh). Just live like you want to live. There are always more boys on the horizon. IP: Logged |
DD
Knowflake Posts: 800
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 08:37 AM
MoonPixie,I`m really impressed with you. It`s as Pire said: you are so mature and honest. It`s very valuable and very rare to be that honest and forgiving and loving even if you are hurting. I have the utmost respect for you.
I`m also sorry that you have to go through this.
IP: Logged |
DiandraReborn25
Knowflake Posts: 134
From: Portugal
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 09:17 AM
apart from astrology i would say that
sometimes people separate in order to find the other again...like he/she didnt found in the Past...
you know..people when very young tend to take the other person granted and after some time,can probably stop to value the other as they should... So now it is the right time for you to love yourself,value yourself,love Life and Live Life,like you didnt needed anyone to be fullfilled. on that time you will actually feel free and really total,absolute.It is on that moment that Life can bring you someone ( might be him or not) who will make you feel even happier. IP: Logged |
MoonPixie
Knowflake Posts: 103
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 10:04 AM
Thank you for all your responses. They really do make me feel a lot better.I'm still jaded... and out of words. I'm just emotionally exhausted... I'll find someone else... but I'll always love the Cancer. Our relationship has always been driven by the fact that we have always been separated by one thing or another... I guess this is the way karma wants it... IP: Logged |
Fleurdelis
Knowflake Posts: 42
From: A symbolic tree, Earth
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 02:24 PM
Maybe you need to get over hurdles, and victory is at the end. I experienced the same thing with someone for like 5 years and the clock is still counting. I know how agonizing that is! You're over only if you let it be..And as was mentioned, it means you're supposed to grow seperately, but it doesn't mean you grow apart.. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 36
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 02:32 PM
quote:
MoonPixie,I`m really impressed with you. It`s as Pire said: you are so mature and honest. It`s very valuable and very rare to be that honest and forgiving and loving even if you are hurting. I have the utmost respect for you. I`m also sorry that you have to go through this.
I was thinking the same thing.  I wish I had a printer ~ I've had the urge to print out several of bunnies' posts, and paste them into a scrapbook, along with good advice from others.  IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 218
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 02:35 PM
Big hugs!IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 676
From: aspideronmars
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 03:00 PM
Ditto what bunnies said! Go grab life and live it like there's no tomorrow!!
Good luckIP: Logged |
MoonPixie
Knowflake Posts: 103
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 07:57 PM
... thank you...it hasn't been even a day... im just so exhausted in general. i'm 20 and i feel so exhausted... im sure once i finally find a time where im not planning something else or moving or whatever... i'll finally feel something. i still feel nothing... i am... i dunno. numb. IP: Logged |
swirl-kitt
Knowflake Posts: 32
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 18, 2009 08:35 PM
Wish I could give some advice but every person goes through different things in life, and want different things from life so*hugs* IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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