posted June 28, 2009 01:52 AM         

also transiting retrograde Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron conjunction in Aquarius is opposing your Venus,and that can indicate expansive confusion/imagination/idealism, and pain affecting your love nature.

These transits altogether can indicate a potential affair, and so please be careful.
Maybe it would be best to confess your feelings to the man, but it would also seem that confessing your feelings to your husband should also be the honorable thing to do. Most people would feel threatened to know that their partners are having strong feelings for other people.

there might be a need for relationship counseling.

Transiting Chiron opposing your Venus could fit with that.

also transiting Uranus conjuncting your Moon and opposing your Sun makes sense for turning to Astrology (Uranus) to understand your relationships with men (Sun oppose Moon)

posted June 28, 2009 02:20 AM         

You have two ethical choices (unless you want to end your marriage, and it sounds like you do not)--you can talk to your husband about opening your marriage and having a non-monogamous relationship (I think there is a thread on polyamory in the Soul Unions section of this forum), or you can make the conscious decision that although you've acknowledged your attraction, you will not act on it.

This is one of those cases where a reading of your natals and transits (as Glaucus gave) can help, and I think looking at the synastry is beside the point--you don't need astrology to tell you you feel a deep connection to this man, and--unless you decide to consensually open your marriage to act on your attraction--it does not matter AT ALL whether he reciprocates. The world is full of thrilling, breathtaking people and tantalizing potential for sexual and spiritual connections...we ALL can have more than just one "true love", the idea that love is so finite and limited is societal, not natural...if you decide to have a monogamous marriage, you cannot explore this connection.

It's a tough choice, but there are tradeoffs. You won't be able to just stop thinking about him--it's a bit like having a weight problem and having to consciously remember to stick with a healthy diet even if you wish you could sit and eat a vat of ice cream.

Also, it sounds like you want validation--from the Scorpio and maybe from finding out that it's astrological true love--that your feelings are reciprocated. Unless you and your husband decide to open your marriage, or you decide to leave your husband to explore this other connection, it completely does not matter whether or not the Scorpio feels the same way you do.

posted June 28, 2009 08:50 AM         

Lucia, I love this:

quote:

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The world is full of thrilling, breathtaking people and tantalizing potential for sexual and spiritual connections...

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For the record, I wouldn't be able to help myself... I like playing with fire just a little too much.

posted June 28, 2009 10:26 AM         

No judgment here; and it doesn't sound like you'd do anything to hurt your husband just for the sake of some momentary bliss with the other man; you just want to KNOW.

posted June 28, 2009 11:04 AM         

It's beyond me why you neglect to mention the simple connection between Virgo & Scorpio, as they were once the same sign?

As a Virgo Male I feel at ease with Scorpio females maybe more than any other sign and for a strange reason there is always a mutual attraction and a flow of communication on many different levels, beginning with the eyes and the way we size eachother up.

posted June 28, 2009 11:16 AM         

You didn't burst my bubble.

I don't know why you are pointing out the cut and dry. I understand that.
There is no need to point that out.

there are people that type a few details,and they know that it's not all cut and dry.

I know that it's not all about transits

I only just mentioned the transits because
I was pointing out how she has some close ones....the Uranus ones. They can be in synchronicity with how she feels right now.

I was leaving the natal and synastry stuff to somebody else.

another thing...I don't put much emphasis on zodiac signs in Astrology. I put a lot more emphasis on aspects...I lean more towards a cosmobiological,geometrical approach.
Therefore, I approach astrology differently

I am not necessarily drawn to Virgos.
it doesn't matter to me...I don't put much emphasis on sunsign compatibility. I never really did as long as I was in Astrology.

I didn't have affinity with some Virgos.
It really depends on what else is going on in the chart. I didn't have affinity with some Pisces too...nor Scorpios..nor Capricorns..nor Taurus. That's in regard to sunsigns. I felt some affinity with Aries,Libra,Aquarius,Sagittarius though.
that's probaby because of other things in the chart. I don't generalize about sunsigns.

I am no typical Scorpio myself,and I don't anybody to trying to fit me into a Scorpio box when I am beyond that.

I feel that I can identify with my Sun in constellation Virgo.

I have some doubt about tropical sunsigns....especially with people born in the Southern Hemisphere.

we all have our views

just like you said,
it's not all cut and dry.

I am open to both sides of anything

so alternative viewpoints are always welcome
therefore, no bubble was being burst.

posted June 28, 2009 01:08 PM         

I'd just like to say that i know how you feel.

First of all, you NEED to breathe. I understand that right now it feels as though the universe is playing a cruel trick on you by forcing you to feel this way toward this man, but there's really nothing you can do about it. You want him. Plain and simple. We cannot help who we're attracted to- you cannot stop it or alter it, so the only option you have left is to accept it.

Second of all, you need to ask yourself, "What do i want from this? What do i want to happen? What outcome?" If you want to be with him badly enough, you will make that choice no matter what advice anyone gives you. But if you want to remain faithful to your husband, you need to cut this man out of your life. Completely.

I am a firm believer that some people cannot be "just friends". When there are those overwhelming, all-comsuming feelings of passion - whether it's from both parties, or just one- friendship isn't a possibility. Why? Because those feelings never cease. They may go dormant, or even fade, but they will always resonate within you.

So, stop thinking of this with your heart, and libido, and start thinking of this with your brain. Try to be rational. If you want to find out how he feels, astrology can only help you so much. Inevitably the only real answer you're going to attain is through just plain asking him- which obviously you don't want to do.

So, my next advice to you would be to do some charts. Log-in to astro.com, put in your data and his, and examine your natals. Then do a synastry chart. Next do a composite chart. Then do both of your Drac charts, comparing Drac synastry, and also Natal/Drac synastry. I'd use tight orbs- nothing over 3 degrees. Look especially for conjunctions, oppositions, and I PERSONALLY look at squares. You can also use asteroids, such as: Karma (3811), Eros (433), Psyche (16), Osiris (1923), Isis (42), Juno, Valentine, Amor, Destinn, Union. I might also even check Nessus, Dejanira, Persephone, Aphrodite, and whatever else might float your boat. Again, try to be rational. Think of this as an explanation for your feelings. When you think of emotions in a two-dimensional way they become much, MUCH easier to manage.

If you need help, i'd be glad to lend a hand, though i am no expert.

posted June 29, 2009 12:49 PM         

quote:

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If I could figure out if this situation stems from simply my own fixation on him, and nothing recipricol, I could rationalize with myself, and tell myself that it's just me, there's nothing there BETWEEN THE BOTH OF US, and I think I could be able to move on.

---

Are you saying that if this is reciprocal, you plan to choose this relationship over your relationship with your husband, and/or open your marriage?

Like I said, there are hundreds of people in this world we will each be attracted to or even in love with, so this is a two part process:

PART 1: decide whether you want to stay with your husband.

PART 2: if you decide to stay with your husband, then decide whether you are going to be monogamous, or whether you want to open your marriage to include other lovers.

If you decide to leave your husband or open your relationship, the next step (after talking with your husband) is to determine whether the Scorpio is interested in a relationship with you.

If you decide to stay with your husband and NOT open the relationship, exploring your romantic/sexual connections with other men, including finding out whether they are mutual, is cheating. It is a good way to destroy a marriage...even if you keep it hidden, you are forcing your husband to live with a betrayal he doesn;t know about.

Feeling a MUTUAL attraction or love outside the marriage does not justify cheating. The only ethical choices are to leave the marriage, consensually open the marriage, or gently close the door on that other mutual attraction. I personally think more people should try opening their marriages--it's just that it's much harder work than simply lying and cheating.

This way, it's like you're saying, oh, I'll stay in my marriage UNLESS this more exciting connection is mutual. That seems very unfair to your husband.