posted July 17, 2009 04:46 PM         

I'm going through this transit and would like to know if anybody else is having this and how you are feeling it.

What's happening to me is a restructuring of my self-assertion and it's being a real pain in the ass.

Despite being a psychologist, I've been working for the past few months as an educator, with 12 children who had to be taken away from their parents (for multiple reasons, including the worse possible ones), in a house where they can stay temporarily, up to a year.

That means I'm being a dad of 12 very complicated children, who require a lot emotionally and whose behaviour, naturally, is very challenging (suffering will do that to you).

So I've been finding the balance in terms of exerting "firm love". Don't be to hard on them when they're creating mayhem, nor too soft. And always leave your Ego behind, whatever you do.

And my bosses (saturn) are being an obstacle, acting in a repressing way (saturn) towards my most constructive and creative methods.

For example, the kids used to love playing in my car, turning it into a giant jukebox and roleplaying they were policemen fining me. I used that passion they had for my car to try to teach them to control their impulses (they wanted to touch everything, but couldn't), patience (await your turn for the front seats), learning to listen to eachtother (not talking at the same time or screaming) and not beating eachother up everytime their frustrated (if you do, you're out of the car). It was working great but my bosses said they didn't like this idea.

Also, they oppose my psychotherapy methods of "mirroring" (naming their feelings and showing understanding towards them) the children's emotions when they are very sad or anguished. Instead, they prefer to pretend everything is okay and make them sing happy songs to make them think of something else (which in my professional experience, is a huge and dangerous mistake).

This transit is therefore corresponding to a very frustrating time of my life, but i love the kids and their reactions are "teaching" me how to educate them and to deepen my understanding of human nature.

posted July 17, 2009 05:02 PM         

the last time saturn opposed my mars there was so much going on at the same time...(uranus opp., uranus sat AND neptune transitting 12th AND pluto squaring my n pluto)

i was going through a long drawn out back-and-forth separation divorce situation at the time and EVERYTHING that was not useful and good for me was slipping out of my life!

as for saturn opposing mars though - my exhusbands saturn opposes my mars! and once we had a baby he suddenly started feeling i should become an instant immaculate housfrau, which i never did manage!! and though his vision has carried him to great success, he really started to belittle MY vision around this time, of course HIS saturn return, so the change in his perceptions was also going on at the same time.

at the same time i took an office job (!moi?) that fit into my daughter's school schedule, which was STIFLING to my spirit and physical energy too, to put it very mildly....BUT it paid the bills (saturn) and allowed me to build a structure that let me work AND be mom on the spot.

posted July 17, 2009 05:21 PM         

quote:

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you sound like a great teacher kamots. don't believe we've met, how d'y' do?!

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Nice to meet you then katatonic I used to post here a while ago, but right now I practically have no free time, so i rarely come here I just posted my birth chart somewhere else in lindaland but i don't remember the section (somewhere we're supposed to introduce ourselves).

Anyway, thanks for sharing your experience and man, that sounded like a tough time! I hope you made the most of it in terms of inner growth and that you're ging through a much more peaceful time right now. Saturn certainly is a tough guy, but so necessary.

CPN Edgar Winner:

posted July 17, 2009 11:16 PM         

I also recall there was sex issues......a great big lack of sex cause my bf at the time didn't want to and then I figured out that he was cheating on me and staying out all the time instead of coming to visit and spend time with me.

So the lack of sex thing really stuck out for me.

posted July 18, 2009 06:11 PM         

• I felt cheated out of an opportunity that I deserved.
  
• I felt that the authority that had the power to give me this opportunity was not fair.
  
• I felt defeated, and for the first time I felt hopeless because every bad thing that I suspected about the "system" was true, i.e. the system only tells us that it wants change, but when it gets change, it rejects it because the system would prefer not to change.
  
• I felt that democracy was a lie and that it didn't matter what I did or how much I tried, that things would remain the way they were because that's how the powers in charge wanted things to be. I felt powerless.
  
• I felt used, lied to and objectified.
  

I have never thought of racism/sexism in my life, but during this period I actually felt that I was being treated unfairly through racial/gender prejudices because I lost despite of performing the best(to my knowledge).

Then, I just gave up, detached myself from the system because I had lost faith in it, and one day while moping I wrote something that went like this:

How does it feel-
To be on top of the world?
I'd like to know.
Does it feel like you've won the jackpot?
Or does it feel the same as down here?
I'd like to know.

You know...
I'll be there some day
And when I get there I'll make sure that I never come down.

*yes, writing above is lame. I was 18 and didn't care but the words have a point...

posted July 18, 2009 06:19 PM         

it just started up again a few days ago so i dont know what this one will do too me this time.

posted July 19, 2009 05:03 PM         

etherealenlightenment: it definately makes us feel vulnerable and weak.

Cynn: That sounds like a really tough time of your life…

I had heard before that this transit could affect sexuality. I broke off a relationship in mid January and haven’t been with another woman since. But now that I got over that relationship and women here in Portugal are not wearing many clothes (summer time) AND my job is very stressful, well… how should i say this... my libido is starting to bother me big time

Goodgirl: my mars rules my first house, but I can’t say if this transit is similar to Saturn transiting your first, cause I don’t remember when I had that transit. Sorry.

Unmoved: That was a great description! I can relate to part of it. I mean I don’t feel the need to be on top, but I sure feel a lot of opposition and unfairness in my life and all this is bringing my fighting ability to a whole new level. I’m giving it all I got, even when I feel crushed. Today for example, I woke up at 6:30 am to go to work (it’s Sunday!) and I was sick all night because of something bad I ate. I was exhausted before that for accumulated lack of sleep. Going to work, I almost crashed my car because I felt so weak and alienated. But I did my job and took care of those kids really well I think (and it was really challenging).

DepTaurus: I’m not surprised you cried during that time, because depression is often due to aggression turned inward instead of outward… I guess all the frustration and pain got to you and was too much. I’m glad you got a positive view on it and were able to feel and express your pain. I mean, we men have feelings too.

Katatonic: I hear ya with the preference of sudden periods of growth! I’m glad you made the best of that transit and it helped you out with Pluto later on. Saturn and Pluto are not very gentle teachers

posted July 21, 2009 10:02 AM         

quote:

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yepp i am but i am canadian portuguese but yeah. i dont know how to speak it but i can say the bad words and can understand when other people are talking the language.

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Ok, so now everyone having this frustrating transit is now officially allowed to swear at it in portuguese!