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Author
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Topic: how does your sign act when someone hurts you?
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stopandstare
Knowflake Posts: 245
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 29, 2009 11:41 PM
  
i always read about how cancers like to crawl into their shells when they're feeling hurt. this is definitely true. when i'm hurt, i just fall off the face of the earth. i act as if no one can see me and i can't see them. however, when i go into hiding, i can go into hiding for months and one time it was for about 10 years. even as a kid, i can't seem to handle pain without pretending as if i don't exist so i can pretend as if the pain doesn't exist. and even as a kid, time meant nothing to me. with the 10-year hide out, i almost gave in at year 5 but i was like no i still feel hurt. i'm gonna continue. i remember when this one guy hurt me (he blew up at me unnecessarily), i was like, i'm going into hiding. i pointed to a calendar and told my friend how on this day, i will re-emerge and be back to normal. he counted the days and he was like that's 50 days! despite that guy trying to chase me down (literally) and be sorry about what he did, i just ignored him as if nothing ever existed between us. i was in my own world trying to work the hurt out so i could be back to normal when i chose to face him again. but i kept my word and pretended as if nothing ever happened when i chose to face him again. my friend was worried that too much time would pass and the guy would pass on me, but i didn't care. when these things happen, time stops and i don't exist anymore. when i'm over the pain, i don't ever want to talk about what caused the pain. it's over and done with. it's still in my memory bank but i don't ever want to address it ever again....plus i knew the guy would wait for me  so what about you guys? what do you do when someone hurts you? IP: Logged |
Fases De La Luna
Knowflake Posts: 88
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 30, 2009 12:58 AM
Gosh, don't you just hate it when we do that?!!!I'm a Cancerian Sun too & can kinda relate. I don't think I've ever had a 10 year spat of not talking to anyone but I find it really hard to forget or be able to trust or revert to the same camaraderie I had with that person previously. I tend to go into my shell & stay there. I need the time to get grounded but everyone knows I'm not 'ok'. I wish I was better able to express myself though. Unlike my Scorpion best friends, I don't tend to sting the person back for unintentionally or intentionally hurting me which is rather stupid coz its like in addition to them already hurting me, like that wasn't enough, i'm hurting myself - and they've moved on!  Trying to change & let the person know what they did hurt. Snail pace improvement but heck, atleast not stagnating IP: Logged |
Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 9947
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 30, 2009 02:05 AM
leo rising and if i get hurt i rarely confront, the nose in the air etc., pride and all that you know  gives my pisces a safe hideawayIP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 1344
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 30, 2009 02:46 AM
What a good question. Though the Sun doesn't seem the obvious place for hurt feelings. Maybe hurt pride. Even so I guess you are asking about signs so I will do my Sun sign first. Geminis can be quite cruel and cutting. Do our feelings get easily hurt? I'd have to say no. Not mine anyway. I'm going to say if it happens expect a verbal dagger. But people and charts are more complex. I'm a Scorpio riser, which increases the chances that I will throw out the darts if I feel threatened. Let's not even get into the afflictions to the Ascendant on my chart. My Plutonic Libran Moon is going to appear again when I say that I get pained by the insensitivity shown to others. Sometimes this is by self-confessed sensitive people, the problem being this sensitivity doesn't extend to other people it is just self-applied. IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 6006
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 30, 2009 05:34 PM
As a Virgo with Pisces rising, I can either fight back with deliberate biting sarcasm or I wrap myself in my own little fantasy world and proceed to ignore the heck out of them like they don't even exist. Anyway, as Libra moon, I am way too classy to get into nasty fist fights or obscene name calling. Whatever we do, let's not get ugly. lol. IP: Logged |
downtomars
Knowflake Posts: 1439
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 30, 2009 05:47 PM
I am a Leo with Aquarius rising and I don’t hesitate to tell people straight out if I am hurt (Moon in Libra trine Mars in Gemini, Mercury in the 7th). I also don’t hesitate to apologize if I have done something wrong. I mean, people are just people, ya know what I mean? No more, no less. So, I really don’t hold grudges – even with the exes I have talked about on the board – hey, they are no better or worse than I am. They are just human. The thing is - I don’t forget things. I saw an episode of Oprah where she says that if you forgive without forgetting then you don’t really forgive. I know what she means by that but I still completely disagree. Who wants to make the same mistakes with the same people, over and over again? Let’s not let rich guru speak turn us into fools (lol, sorry Oprah)! I like to learn from my mistakes. Some people just don’t stop needling though. In that case, I find it appropriate to cut all ties (probably a Uranus thing). Even if you are over it, they still want to get their digs in. I ignore it. Why bother? Thanks to Pluto in Sagittarius transit that went through my 11th house I was able to weed out the baddies...IP: Logged |
stopandstare
Knowflake Posts: 245
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 30, 2009 05:53 PM
thanks for responding everyone. i understand we are more complex than our sun sign, but it just got me to thinking about the sun sign only because most of what i read about how a cancer responds to being hurt, it's very true of me. when someone hurts me i'll just disappear into thin air and i'll return as if it never happened. the longer i disappear, that's the level of pain i'm in. you can understand i wouldn't disappear for 10 years without a good reason when i'm angry though, that's when i start listing all of the things i've kept hidden inside of me and i just unleash the rage. i'm most of the time a very patient, very understanding, very polite person. i keep rude, mean thoughts to myself. however, when i get angry, that's when the ugly side will come out and it stuns people if they've never seen me go there. i'm not afraid to like go head to head with anyone. when i get angry it's like an explosion, but when i get sad, i just go poof. but that's when i'm angry, not when i'm hurt. i don't sting people but i'll always remember what they did to me...i'm a complex person and most people don't really know me. they think they know but then i act a certain way and it shocks them and they think that's not me when in reality it was always me. i think it must be all the mutable planets i have. i don't have any theme of planets i don't think. i'm all over the place. IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
unregistered
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posted July 30, 2009 06:35 PM
well leo with taurus rising. i guess it depends how bad they hurt me. if they were disloyal in any way i would never let them know how much they hurt me. they would simply cease to exist to me. i wouldn't give them a chance to really explain or to ever hurt me again. i would never let them see me cry. or i would tell them once why i never want to see them again and one time only would i explain it. i have always been one to walk away and never look back. my heart can turn to stone and its like i never had feelings ever for them, please stop calling me kind of thing.family, that is harder. i usually just pray about it and try to forgive them the best i can. when its one of the kids, i usually write them a letter and mail it to them and try not to be too hard on them, but if i can't talk about it without getting upset, i write them a letter. if i m in the wrong i sincerly apologise. IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 2943
From: France
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 30, 2009 07:10 PM
Im a cancer rising and what you write in your first post stopandstare is right for me as well... To a certain extent. I think when hurt, my aquarius sun tries to look for THE truth. The objective truth. Where was my responsability? Why did he/she was trying to work out for him/herself? Was i a catarsis? What part of me hurts and why?
Inside, I explain the hurt to myself this way if i can still think because the pain didnt numb my mind. Libra moon could play a part too, but overall, the cancer thing above is more how i react. Edit... However, when i see that the hurt was intentional and repeated i can get really angry. My weapon is slicing the bast@rd with truth about himself that he didnt even notice. I know... That's bad IP: Logged |
VirgOh
Knowflake Posts: 150
From: New Jersey, USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 30, 2009 07:24 PM
Virgo with Sag rising here ....When hurt, I retreat silently and take it out on work and burry myself in it for months on end until I shake it off, I try to take advantage of it as a learning experience and ensure that whatever I take it out on is perfect, complete and successful and usually it turns out that way. I totally ignore the other person like they dont even exist, we could be in the same room and I could treat them like a vase or a couch lol and if it happens that our eyes meet I usually give them the dirtiest looks.
When really hurt,
I plot a very calculated revenge "Scorpio moon"
When angered,
I snap and confront the other person and reduce them verbally to rubble, it is however a very short lasting feeling because after I do that I try to reconcile with the other person "If I care enough for them".
IP: Logged |
amowls*
Newflake Posts:
From:
Registered:
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posted July 30, 2009 07:27 PM
I don't talk to them until I don't care anymore.I have an Aquarius Sun, Gemini Rising, Libra Moon. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 6510
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 30, 2009 09:33 PM
Great question.
Sag sun, aries rising, libra moon here.
It takes alot to hurt my feelings. I always figure that people say and do things on their limited information about me, or assumptions. Basically, I'm all snobby, saying things like, "well, consider the source" if someone says something unkind about me. I try to rise above, I really do.
But, and there is always a but, right, if someone I love, really love, hurts me in a deep and profound way, then the hurt turns to anger and there in lies the problem. As I get older, I am better, dont break dishes anymore, etc... But I have to be careful, with getting angry, cause I really don't want to hurt someone, in my lashing out. Sag anger is all flash fire, burns bright, but burns out quick, but still, it burns. ouch.IP: Logged |
Antiquarianbookcollector
Knowflake Posts: 346
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted July 30, 2009 09:42 PM
I give the cold shoulder whilst discreetly planning some sort of revenge.IP: Logged |
letram
Knowflake Posts: 1141
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 30, 2009 09:56 PM
if im hurt, and it was on purpose, which i consider 'unfair' my venus insists to make it fair by doing what they did to me, just a bit harsher.i Never show that what they done has bothered me. my mars i think, does all the planning on how to get them back, well planned my main goal is for them to see what they done to me, and if i have to be harsher than they was to me, in order to make them feel how i felt, I'll do it. sometimes though i just settle it right there and then, i only put in the planning if the person involved is worth it. IP: Logged |
Cheshire Kat
unregistered
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posted July 30, 2009 10:44 PM
Depends on who is hurting me..If it's someone I don't know I tend to just ignore it. If it's a loved one then I try to understand why they are treating me this way. Usually I deserve it *shrugs* >.> Virgo Sun/Pisces Moon/Capricorn IP: Logged |
StarrofVenusGirl
Knowflake Posts: 1314
From: Down the Rabbit Hole
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted July 30, 2009 10:56 PM
Depends on who it is and how much hurt...It will either be Fire or Ice. They should fear the Ice more than the Fire. Fire = yelling, cursing, maybe tears, long letters, passionate displays, etc. Ice = Closing my heart to you and eradicating you from my life. Delete you from everything, feel no emotion when I think or speak of you. 99% chance we won't speak again. Once I freeze you out, it's like you don't even exist. Forever... ------------------
Natal Tidbits Sun in Virgo
Moon in Taurus
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Pisces Rising Heavy 7th & 8th House Placements IP: Logged |
Nine
Moderator Posts: 3930
From: The Cusp of Love
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 30, 2009 11:10 PM
If it's a colleague or something, I stop talking to them. If it's a person whose e-mail, or phone # I have, I send them a rich string of expletives they'd be ashamed to show anyone else....secretly I hope they'd share. These usually turn quite poetic. It's amazing how the words flow when I'm inflamed.Generally I don't like one on one, but if there's a lot of people around, or a someone close to them, I get straight to the point bluntly, coldly, cruely. I quite enjoy an audience. Gemini w/ Moon in Sagittarius. Pluto in the 1st IP: Logged |
DepTaurus
Knowflake Posts: 2265
From: canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 31, 2009 01:28 AM
when i get hurt lets see. i usually get realy mad to the point where i cant control myself. i dont act on anger. ill normally find a place where its Quite for about three days and stay there. i wont move i wont talk ill just sit there or lay down there and try and get passed it. i kinda shut myself off from that person. ill ignore them and be aloof and withdrawn. i normally dont talk to people who do that i mean ill get over it but i cant get over you so i wont talk about you to you or anything about you.IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 1344
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 31, 2009 05:23 AM
It's tough to strip it down by sign. But so far I think we have:-
Taurus - sulk, stomp hooves and blow steam blow out of nostrils
Gemini - cutting remark, can get cruel
Leo - flounce off in a huff
Virgo - biting saracasm, analyse why
Scorpio - sting back, plot revenge
Aquarius - dissect it and question why this happened
Pisces - escape into fantasy world and ignore the culprit
...combine a couple of those as appropriate and it is quite telling. Try it for Mars sign, oh, Leo Mars, oh. LOL. IP: Logged |
enchantress299
Knowflake Posts: 737
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 31, 2009 07:15 PM
Well... When I'm hurt by someone I know or care about, I tend to retreat first and not talk to the person for a few days so I can choose my words and try to figure out exactly why I feel the way I do. That way I can cut to the chase and explain to them exactly why what they said or did hurt me (so yes BM, your assessment of Virgo is true ), and why I then have to take the course of action that I am will take in this particular situation in response. If a person has REALLY hurt me and I don't see any salvaging the relationship, I usually cut off all contact with them. Many of the people I hang out with thrive on drama, so not creating it actually upsets them more than throwing a temper tantrum would. When I was younger I really was very biting, sarcastic, and quick to open my big mouth and say horrible things about the other person. As I've gotten older, I've realized that this isn't productive and only causes the other person to be more set in their views. It gives them ammo in a sense, because they know that they've affected you. Virgo Sun/ Scorpio Rising/ Aries Moon/ Leo Mars IP: Logged |
BlueTopaz124
Knowflake Posts: 274
From: Portland, OR, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 31, 2009 09:35 PM
Sag Sun...I get right to the point while acting all indignant and self-righteous lol, pointing out to them their flaws or criticize their manner of hurting me. Then I confide in someone close to me what a good friend/lover/girlfriend I had been to them, more than they deserved...then I sulk at the unfairness lol...after I've gone through every emotion possible...if we're still not talking...I secretly mourn our relationship but preserve my dignity if I am around them (like at work or wherever).It's like this right now at work with a Scorpio...he abused my friendship and pushed me to the edge once too many (he does this a lot, especially if he knows you're having a bad day...will skate right over you)...we work next to each other so I see him all.day.long. I've gotten good at putting on my poker face just like he does and give him a look if he looks my way or purposely ignore him. He's a Scorpio...plus, I know him...he will NEVER admit he failed in some way. Do Scorpios ever miss a person? Then I detach from the drama that usually ensues and just observe that person from a distance. It depends on the type of relationship....I usually give a lot in relationships...so if someone hurts me there is some wariness on my part for a long time and if they abuse it...the door slams shut and they have to work reeeeaaaaally hard to open the door again. IP: Logged |
problematique
Knowflake Posts: 82
From:
Registered: Jan 2021
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posted April 04, 2022 08:19 AM
my first instinct is to joke it off and pretend it didn't hurt me one bit. i hate showing vulnerability.
actually, most of the time it's hard to hurt me at all because you really need to know where to pick on.
but when it happens, i play it cool. that's difficult because holding everything in doesn't help much, but i do it out of pride because what bullies hate the most - is being ignored.
the other option is facing them head on, telling them it hurt you or letting them know by being upset/angry/distant. this is my less favorite option because i feel like i'm giving power to them. like now they know my weak spot and where to hit. that's out of question.i'm a gemini. IP: Logged |
saronna
Knowflake Posts: 1377
From: Sydney Australia
Registered: Jan 2010
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posted April 04, 2022 10:18 AM
Talk to me Gemini mercury when I get upset.IP: Logged |
saronna
Knowflake Posts: 1377
From: Sydney Australia
Registered: Jan 2010
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posted April 05, 2022 03:30 AM
When I get hurt I withdraw & have some time to think about things & why I feel hurt than I do something. I don't like confrontation & arguments. I talk things through. It's my sun Gemini in mercury.
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