posted August 07, 2009 08:01 PM         

Help, I don't want to wreck all the good that's happening but I know he's starting to see that "something"'s wrong. And I can't even tell him just what it is because I don't really know.

Is there anything in my chart that could be a reason for this?

My bd is March 13, 1970
time 2am
Powell River BC

His bd is Feb 5, 1963
morning, but I don't know the exact time
Vancouver, BC

I've double posted this in both the general forum and the forum for readings just so you know.

posted August 07, 2009 09:16 PM         

Don't ignore your feelings if you're sensing that there is a problem or the beginning of a problem. Instinct is there for a reason and usually is right. Maybe you can talk to someone and sort out your feelings.

Maybe someone on the outside (not related or partial to either one of you) can observe what happens when the two girls are around each other. They're children and children do what they need to do (or what they know to do) in a situation that's stressful for them. Your boyfriend's daughter could feel threatened by a number of things, so she manipulates. He might not know how to react if your daughter acts in a certain way. Out of his element. Your daughter could feel threatened so she acts out. Kids many times aren't even aware of what they're doing, they're just being kids.

posted August 08, 2009 12:08 AM         

If it started happening fairly recently (maybe a month or so) then it could just be the manifestation of an ugly Saturn transit.

Your Sun is in 20 degrees Pisces... and Saturn is currently at 22 degrees Virgo... therefore opposing it... From what you've been describing, does kind of sound like a Saturn transit.

I have Mars at 21 degrees Pisces and speaking from personal experience, I've been going through similar things! Second time this year I've gone through it!

posted August 08, 2009 12:41 AM         

The loneliness, depression, and other stuff is all Saturnine energy being processed.
But I'd say on the flip side the transit is probably making things like you're talking about now have more stock and importance... like you can't shake off the discomfort and Saturn's job is to make you acknowledge it in some way and deal with it, instead of letting it slide and not wanting to rock the boat. Plus Uranus is probably transit on your sun as well, so it's a very push/pull energy. One side wants to conform (Saturn) and do things the 'right way' while also taking responsibility and making sure others do, while another side wants to rebel (Uranus), and voice the things which have been glossed over for awhile.

Neither Saturn nor Uranus is going to let you gloss over anything, so that's partially why you would be feeling so darn frustrated and internally knotted up.

posted August 08, 2009 01:28 AM         

etherealenlightenment: YES...about a month or so! Like I said, even though by putting our two families together there is a transition that has to take place, I don't think that's ALL that's going on. I just feel so darn sad and so out of sorts and so..just NOT ME...that's why I wanted to know if there was anything in my chart that could be affecting me. So this ugly Saturn transit...how the heck long am I going to have to deal with it? I just want to feel normal again!

MyVirgoMask: I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that this transit is making all the little things have more stock! I know a lot of them are small and that they shouldn't bother me, but they do. I think this sentence is dead on:

"One side wants to conform (Saturn) and do things the 'right way' while also taking responsibility and making sure others do, while another side wants to rebel (Uranus), and voice the things which have been glossed over for awhile."

Thank you all for your help...I can't say that I really "feel" any better, because I don't...but at least I'm gaining an understanding about what's going on.

posted August 08, 2009 02:26 AM         

Since this transit I've gone through so much crap, that now that I am on the tail end it's like unpleasant, but also assuring to look back and know so much of the work has been done ..
That's the thing with these transits. They're there to make you just reclaim whatever feelings you're having and maybe not dealing with.
There is something very good about Saturn and Uranus which I've realized recently, and it's that it will make you honor yourself, and make sure you feel good about yourself, even if it means building your own self-esteem from the ground up. To the extent that you are not reliant on anyone, or what they have to say about who you are - Saturn makes you look at yourself and whoever is giving you a hard time, and go, You know what? This is who I am - take it or leave it. Pick or choose. I know who I am and what I like and what I don't like.

So, I know the transit is hard, but I also know that it creates *tremendous* benefits because it gets rid of doubts FOR you.
The ultimate goal here is to have a clear conscience..... so that you *don't* feel depressed or lonely. All it's doing is shedding light on what can be a problem later, and telling you to deal with it so that it doesn't become a bigger problem!

posted August 08, 2009 04:22 AM         

Uranus is still within orb of your Sun, you know how it likes to shake things up and cast doubt.
Sometimes just being aware can help you work through it.

posted August 08, 2009 12:13 PM         

MVM is right... the good thing about Saturn is it really does make you reclaim yourself and your self-esteem and all the issues that you've maybe been "sweeping under the rug." The less you try to fight it, the easier it will be for you.

I completely relate about the feeling sad for no reason. This is definitely the work of Saturn in action! This is the second time this year I'm going through this transit (ugh!!!!) However, the second time around I've noticed a bit of a difference. The first time I had this transit in February, and I ended up having the worst depression of my life. Even the simple act of getting out of bed caused me great pain and agony. I would just cry for no reason every day, have anxiety attacks at least twice a day, became extremely antisocial, almost completely annihilated my relationship... It was horrible.

However, this time around, although I thought that I would have a repeat of last time, it's been a bit lighter. I still feel sad and irritable and freak out over every little thing, but it's not nearly to the extent of my depression a few months ago. The difference is that this time I've really been making sure to take care of ME. I've been making sure not to neglect any of my responsibilities, and am keeping my self-esteem firmly in tact.

Also, don't forget about those eclipses that happened recently. I'm sure they had some kind of impact on your situation as well.

posted August 08, 2009 10:19 PM         

Don't let the little things build up - tell him all the things you said here...

posted August 09, 2009 11:55 AM         

kids can use situations to manipulate and prove that dad loves me more and he always will, but your daughter or any kid doesn't really understand. with him around your kids full time and his own part time if you live together sets the stage for him being one person to your kids and a total different person with his own kids.

if i had it to do over again, i wouldnt have lived with him. now my kids are grown and my stepson is 13 so its not much of an issue, my kids know that no matter what i am there for them, no matter what. littler kids dont understand that stuff as well.

my second husband and i ended up having issues about it big time. and i ended up resenting him for it. not to mention dreading the weekends. sometimes i would get a six pack and go sit by a lake by myself becasue i didnt want to go home to my beautiful house.

i am quite sure in the total picture it was just a part of the problem in our marriage, but i really ended up not much liking him or his kids, who by the way, could do no wrong.

another thing to consider is if you buy a home together and it doesnt work out will you be able to afford to maintain that home on your own...that is something i didnt consider, so when our marraige had a meltdown i was sitting for a time in a huge house in a cul de sac that i could in no way afford, so my kids had yet another move and mom had massive credit card debt that took 5 years or so to get under control. not that any of that will ever happen to you, but i find it is always best to really be prepard as best you can for anything, so it lessens the impact if things dont go as planned.

you have 3 kids and i just dont want to see you having things harder when it is hard enough sometimes trying to do it all. i wish you all the best and think dealing with those issues with the kids has to be brought out in the open and dealt with as you and him agree on and plan, the more united you are with the kids, the better it will work out. and i dont want you to feel resentful like i ended up feeling.

and hopefully you wont find a "to do list" from your daughter like i did that said:
1. ignore moms husband
2. give his daughter a lil haircut

posted August 09, 2009 12:37 PM         

If I dig way down within myself I think I was also getting worried because our talk of buying a house almost became a reality a few weeks ago. That particular deal fell through and we're at the point of keeping our eyes open but not actively looking again, which to be honest is kind of a relief. With everything going on between the kids lately I'm just not sure everybody's ready to all live in the same house.